Machete Kills:
What's it about?
Ex-Federale and all-round blade-wielding arse-kicker Machete is recruited by the President of the United States to take down a revolutionary gone mad, and a billionaire arms dealer (and everyone else in-between), before global war erupts.
Who would I recognise in it?
Danny Trejo, Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Vanessa Hudgens, Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba, Antonio Bandera, Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady Gaga, Walton Goggins, Tom Savini, and more.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Director Robert Rodriguez has his fingers in multiple pies, but this time he's hands-off when it comes to the script (beyond a "story by" credit, anyway), and it really shows. The script lacks discipline and efficiency - exploitation movies don't need to make strict sense, but they do need to get where they're going fast, and Machete Kills seems rather intent on expanding beyond it's limits. The first 40 minutes feel slap-dash - multiple characters doing the job of one, excessive stunt-casting meaning numerous side characters are given little screen time, and the like - but after that, the movie does find a greater sense of focus again.
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The movie packs plenty of machete-slicing violence, but it's definitely a little tamer than the first outing (Kills' 15 certificate versus Machete's 18 rating), and with all the known names popping up throughout the entire film, Trejo occasionally feels side-lined in his own starring vehicle. Similar to the first film, Machete Kills has too many bad guys, so you're attention is constantly being split in multiple directions, thus stopping you from really getting to know any of these baddies. Kyle Ward is admirably game, and frequently sprinkles high notes across action scenes and face-to-face exchanges alike, but the structure of the film is far too loose. Numerous scenes (and characters) could have been combined into tighter shape and made proceedings run smoother.
The film opens with a trailer for "Machete Kills Again ... In Space", which seems to be brilliantly designed to lampoon all those post-Star Wars cash-ins like Starcrash, but it quickly becomes evident that the entirety of Machete Kills is all just getting the audience to the inevitable conclusion like an opening act extended over 100 minutes. Furthermore, Machete Kills is just a smidge too goofy, the switch to even broader comedy not always sitting well with the first movie.
So, it's an awkward second-outing, but far from a disaster - however, it's missing the tighter narrative focus of the original movie, as well as some of it's more gut-wrenching moments. Trejo, Rodriguez, Heard, and Gibson (and others) are all clearly having a fantastic time, and it's hard not to crack a big grin during the crazier moments. Bonkers throughout, but also disappointingly lax in several ways, Machete Kills does stumble into 'difficult second album' territory - perhaps a second viewing closer to its own terms is in order. If Rodriguez & Co can regain their focus (and trim the unnecessarily large cast), then there's no reason why the third outing won't be a grand conclusion. On the cusp between alright and good, but mostly the latter.
Our RoboCop Remake:
What's it about?
Fan-made spoof-cum-remake of the beloved 1987 Paul Verhoeven film RoboCop (recently given the PG-13 blockbuster reboot treatment). A raft of filmmakers - with varying styles and levels of ability - each take a scene and re-do it in their own way. Featuring snippets from the real film for context, it's a collage approach to reassembling the film by fans in their own vision.
Who would I recognise in it?
Erm...
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The quality varies wildly at times - as do the filmmaking styles (including animation and musical) - but what could have easily turned out to be an indulgent mess, instead comes off as a surprisingly entertaining ride. Certain scenes drag, or fall well below the bar set by other segments (the high point being Fatal Farm's impressively realised todger-blasting sequence), while other segments soar and elicit full-on guffaws. The spoof elements never diminish the original film and instead just have fun with it, sufficiently papering over the cracks left by the weaker entries into this hand-crafted fan's love letter to Verhoeven's classic film. Good.
Fast & Furious 6:
What's it about?
Fifth sequel in the long-running and hugely successful gear-headed franchise. The group are recruited and brought to London, to bring down a dangerous criminal gang who use extraordinary driving to pull off their heists.
Who would I recognise in it?
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Dwayne Johnson, Tyreese Gibson, Chris Ludacris Bridges, Sung Kang, Gal Gadot, Gina Carano, Luke Evans, and more.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Viewing this in the light of Paul Walker's death brings a strange sense of melancholy to proceedings. It's loud and brash and full of car-flipping/skidding/smashing mayhem, but knowing that the seventh film in the franchise will be Walker's last (he died during a break from the production of Fast 7) tempers the fun. On the other hand, the strong commitment to "family" throughout the film adds an extra sense of poignancy - and it's commendable that the filmmakers are invested in the characters. This may be a big blockbuster with pretty people driving pretty cars very fast (while sometimes shooting at each other), but everyone involved seem to be a tight-knit unit, bringing an authenticity to the - somewhat over-complicated - franchise-spanning story.
Not quite as gleefully entertaining as the fifth film in the series, but certainly more car-focused this time around, Fast 6 isn't overly bothered about on-screen subtlety. Cars flip high into the air, a tank obliterates all on-coming vehicles (and, worryingly, most of the occupants), and an epic battle ensues between a giant cargo plane and an army of vehicles during the excessive climax. The cast is over-flowing with the numerous characters from across the entire franchise, and while everyone gets a moment, you can't help but feel somewhat short-changed with some of the cast. However, when it comes to character interaction, Michelle Rodriguez and Gina Carano steal the show in two arse-kicking femme-fights that pleasingly show that the girls can dish it out as good as the boys.
Finally, this entry at long last resolves the 'four through six taking place before three' arc, in what is now a disturbingly semi-prophetic post-film tie-up-cum-set-up for part seven. Indeed, the final moments of the film give way to moments of tragedy mixed with nostalgia and the over-riding theme of family. Overblown and over-populated, Fast & Furious 6 will appeal to the franchise's fans with ease, and while it can't quite maintain the sheer level of fun and adventure that the fifth film presented, it's still a ballsy action-fest ... albeit one that is now unfortunately veiled in the tragic death of Paul Walker. All said and done - good.
Hitchcock:
What's it about?
Half bio-pic, half making-of, concerning Alfred Hitchcock and the making of his 1960 film "Psycho".
Who would I recognise in it?
Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren, Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, and more.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Movie fans will enjoy the period filmmaking details and insider tussels that saw the troubled, but successful, birth of an iconic piece of cinema history. However, you can't quite escape the feeling that - curiously - there seems to be something missing ... at times it feels a bit light-weight, roughly sketched. Strange asides featuring "Hitch" talking to infamous murderer Ed Gein (the inspiration for "Psycho" and countless other horror outings over the decades) feel misjudged and out-of-place, but on the other hand his wranglings with the MPAA feel charged with energy. When the film's focus, somewhat understandably, drifts away from the making of "Psycho" to a side story featuring Hitch's wife Alma writing another movie with another man, the pace sags. This subplot feels underdeveloped, compared with richer ideas found elsewhere in the film. Not quite as good all-round as it should have been, "Hitchcock" nevertheless is an enjoyable watch (particularly for film fans), populated with strong performances and fascinating period detail. Good (for the most part).
Oblivion:
What's it about?
Earth has been ravaged by a war between mankind and an alien force - the battle was won, but the planet was lost - and so, with mankind assembling on an off-world spaceship to leave for pastures new, two workers are tasked with supervising (and repairing) the various drones that protect vast machines designed to remove left over resources for man's journey into the stars. However, in their last two weeks on the job, things don't go according to plan.
Who would I recognise in it?
Tom Cruise, Olga Kurylenko, Morgan Freeman, Melissa Leo.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
From the Director of Tron Legacy, this flick features absolutely superb design and confident action set pieces, but it does feel a smidge overlong, and not terribly original (the film is littered with references to iconic sci-fi). The soundtrack, provided by M83, is excellent, and the film is dripping with style, but the premise doesn't quite hold enough water when all is said and done. Sufficiently entertaining, if not particularly enduring in the memory, "Oblivion" is fun while it lasts with a strong lead in the shape of Tom Cruise. Good (for the most part).
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