Flavours of the Month: December 2014...

Tis the season to be merry, get wellied-in and watch the telly ... festivities, Blu-Rays galore, and a new obsession.

Click "READ MORE" below for the looks, sounds, vibes & flavours of my December 2014...

Triple Bill Mini Musings: Last Bastion of 2014 Edition...

The Hobbit: The Battle of The Five Armies:
What's it about?
Trilogy-closing entry in Peter Jackson's elongated adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkein's "The Hobbit" in which Smaug unleashes his fury, Thorin Oakenshield wrestles with a King's madness, and a war is unleashed. Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Men, and the like having a massive ruck, put simply.
Who would I recognise in it?
Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Lee Pace, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom, Billy Connolly, Luke Evans, Stephen Fry, and practically all the others still surviving from the previous movies.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The shortest of all the Hobbit (and Rings) movies, the oft-talked-about problems with stretching a novella into a trilogy of films become most obvious. Despite including material from the appendices, the fact that the film opens with the burning of Lake Town (as teased at the end of the second movie) says a lot about the awkward mid-production decision to turn two films into three. The opening, as spectacular and entertaining as it is, still feels more like the last fifteen minutes of The Desolation of Smaug instead of the opening of The Battle of The Five Armies. However, despite the occasionally mangled sense of pacing, TBOTFA gives more of what you want out of these films. If you enjoyed the previous movies you'll enjoy this, but it could be argued that it is also the least of all six films (Hobbit and Rings). Although, being the least in this company still makes for solid entertainment and captivating world-building...

Click "READ MORE" below to continue the review and read about Hatchet 3 and The Inbetweeners 2...

Caged Women (Leandro Lucchetti, 1991) DVD Review

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“Well here we are Miss, the asshole of the world, and only God knows what the hell you're doing here.” When you think of exploitation cinema your mind primarily jumps to the 1970s and 80s, but rarely does it venture into the 1990s. The 'women in prison' genre had been around for decades, but saw it's heyday in the wake of Jess Franco's 99 Women (1969), so Leandro Lucchetti's 1991 film Caged Women is quite a late entry. The nineties were a lean time for horror and exploitation filmmaking, and it was also about this time that the Italian film industry, that had been so full of life, began to crumble.

“You take care of your ass and I'm gonna take care of mine.” Opening with a woman running through the jungle in rags – replete with slow motion topless sequences – only to be hunted down, things get off to a grim start. Meanwhile, Janet Cooper (Pilar Orive, braless and wearing the hell out of some Daisy Dukes) arrives in a remote South American coastal town completely unaware of the dangers that lie ahead. Checking herself into the nearest hotel, a skeezy joint with a rough and tumble bar, Janet wastes no time in washing up for some adventure...

Click “READ MORE” below to continue the review and see more screenshots…

"Celebrityville" update 22/12/2014...

After a few delays - such as having surgery to remove my gallbladder - I've finally been getting underway with "Celebrityville". First of all I got cracking with the short story ("The Great and The Good") that will tie-in to the main narrative (and accompany it in the book), but now I'm well underway with the primary text...

Click "READ MORE" below to continue the update...

Double Bill Mini Musings: Big Guns and Grotesque Bets...

The Expendables 3:
What's it about?
Barney Ross and his gang of Expendables take on an old enemy from their past, but to do so they need to add some new blood to their line up.
Who would I recognise in it?
Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Robert Davi.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Even in its "extended/uncut" form the violence is conspicuously bloodless, and yet the body count is sky high. This second sequel isn't lacking in action - and certainly not in the half hour climax - but you can't help but shake the feeling that it's somewhat compromised. In chasing a younger demographic in the frustrating PG-13 rating (the UK rating system is much more varied and forgiving), the violence has had the sharp edges smoothed off. People still get blitzed in every which way you could possibly think of, but that extra punch seen in the first movie is missing. Even with the new (and young) additions - of which Ronda Rousey reigns supreme - to the cast, was it truly worth annoying your core target audience by chasing the tween dollar? However, that sticking issue aside, if you enjoyed the other movies you'll enjoy this one too - it's a no-brainer...

Click "READ MORE" below to continue this review and see some brutal bets...

Sleaze Fiend Magazine Issue #2 now available!

The second issue of Sleaze Fiend Magazine (for which I'm one of the staff writers) is now available to buy!

From the deliciously dirty minds who bring you the Exploited Cinema podcast, Sleaze Fiend Magazine is all about exploitation cinema and is most definitely not for sensitive souls or the easily offended. However, if you dig grindhouse cinema, out-there entertainment, bizarre curiosities, and independent zines, then you'll want to check it out.

Click HERE for more info.

Short Night of Glass Dolls (Aldo Lado, 1971) Review

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“Don't leave me like this! Help me! Help me!” In amongst the quiet cityscape of Cold War era Prague, a street sweeper swats a crow away from a piece of rotting fruit, only to discover a dead body dumped in the undergrowth. The corpse is that of Gregory Moore, an American journalist working for a foreign paper in the city, and he isn't dead. Somehow he's been paralysed and shows no clear signs of life to the indifferent pathologist and, as he lies there waiting for his autopsy, he must recall the events that lead him to this terrible potential fate.

Click “READ MORE” below to continue the review and see more screenshots…

"Celebrityville" is getting there...

Planning out "Celebrityville" (my second book) is coming along very nicely indeed. Today, after a few weeks away due to another project I was working on, I finalised the layout of the story. The break was good though, as I could spread out the index cards for all the major beats of the story (something I talked about in an earlier post) and see it all with a fresh pair of eyes. I plugged a few plot holes and motivation gaps, so the events and pacing of the story is locked-in. Next up I'll be doing a rough map of each chapter (where it starts, where it ends, the basic beats of what happens when, and who says what to whom and why) ... and then it'll be time to getting my fingertips waggling.

Click "READ MORE" below for a teasy little tease...

Double Bill Mini Musings: Strange Cameras and Stolen Culture...

Time Lapse:
What's it about?
Three friends discover a bizarre camera, in the home of their recently deceased neighbour, which can take photographs of future events.
Who would I recognise in it?
Danielle Panabaker.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The film wastes little time in convincing its protagonists in the existence or mechanics of this strange photographic device, preferring to get the setup done quick and then take time with what comes next. There are familiar themes relating to time travel, such as using it for greed or the mind-twisting workings of the concept itself, but the film still feels more fresh than you might initially expect. The characters aren't necessarily the deepest or most complex, but their wants and needs are clear, and the performances help bolster their curious predicament as believable. Inevitably things take darker and more troubling turns, and while some twists are relatively predictable, the climax is deliciously satisfying. Good.

Click "READ MORE" below for the art of war...

Heartbreaker Edition: The Walking Dead 5x08 memes...

Find more Walking Dead memes here.

Well that's that until February and as expected it packed a punch.

Click each image for FULL SIZE.

Click to Enlarge: I've just got something in my eye...

Click "READ MORE" below for the rest of this week's memes **EPISODE SPOILERS AHEAD**...