Embarrassing DVDs in your collection?

I was perusing my growing collection of DVDs, and I began to notice some that make me cringe these days.

1) Bowling For Columbine...

In itself not too bad of a pseudo-documentary. However, Michael Moore is such an insufferable, hypocritical prat who now produces utter pants for a living, something which has become ever-more-prevalent in recent years, that it just feels a bit embarrassing to own this on DVD. Not only that, but it's the special edition.

2) Children of the Living Dead...

Bought - for a fiver - from one of those scruffy second-hand video shops you only find in the rougher parts of town, out of the way and smelling of cigarette smoke and general staleness, I am almost ashamed to own this. However, of the two times I've watched it, the first was a group piss-taking, and the second was so I could compose another one of my 'bitch lists' about it. The film itself is beyond terrible, but the director did at least give a highly entertaining and honest response to an enraged fan (find it on Homepage of the Dead, in the articles section).

3) Dawn of the Dead (the dreadful remake)...

In a rare, but none-more-potent, lapse of common sense and mental capacity, I purchased - brand new and at full price - the Region 1 Unrated Director's Cut of Zack Snyder's utterly pish raping of Romero's legendary horror film. I came up with 110 reasons in 110 minutes why I disliked it so much. Still, at the absolute least I got to write it off as an expense (after the fact), when I chose to use it as one of the examples for my final year dissertation - which centred on the post-millennial development of the horror genre.

4) Dead & Breakfast...

When I was light on cash immediately after graduating, I dim-wittedly purchased this Shaun of the Dead wannabe. It's really quite annoying, and isn't remotely funny. I've watched it once. Maybe I'll create a 'bitch list' about it so as to reclaim some face.

5) Don't Go In The Woods ... Alone!

Bought for about £3, simply so I wouldn't have to pay shipping costs (better to have something rubbish and avoid shipping costs, than just pay for shipping). It's still terrible though, and is perhaps the worst DVD package I've ever seen. However, there's still a part of me that barely respects it ... I just can't fathom why.

6) 100% Unofficial - Friends: In Their Own Words...

I'm not ashamed to be a fan of the show, I really do like it quite a bit. However, this cobbled together hunk of shit transferred from a ropey old videotape directly onto a DVD is nothing short of offensive.

7) Freddy Got Fingered...

Bought during my early DVD purchasing days, and the heady times of first year university, I found this movie really quite funny at the time. It's been a long time since I've viewed it's beyond stupid scenes. Now I'm a little bit embarrassed to own it, but is it a once-in-a-blue-moon guilty pleasure?

8) Gang Tapes...

Bought simply because it was controversial, at a time when such an accolade was good enough for me to sprinkle out a few scheckles, I found myself physically queasy from the hand-held footage ... but mainly because of the almost unstoppable use of the "N word".

9) Gone In Sixty Seconds...

The one with Nic Cage. Again, an early DVD purchase, of a film I have taped off of Sky Movies and purchased on ex-rental videotape in my teenage years. It's a guilty pleasure alright.

10) Pirates of the Caribbean 2 & 3...

Guilty pleasures. Both of them. Like the first movie's DVD, they're both the special editions. I got them cheap though.

11) Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines...

So unspeakably crap that I could go on for days about how rubbish it is. So I won't bother.

12) The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (the remake)...

It's a guilty pleasure. While not a patch on the original (naturally), I am a bit uneasy about owning it. Not only that but it's the special edition 2-disc ... the one with the 'crime scene photos' inside the packaging that folds out in the form of a massive chainsaw blade. I kind of dig it.

...

And now the ones that are so bad they're good enough for a free pass:

Drive-In Massacre - the example I always give when ranting about this fad of remaking movies. How about remaking a shit movie, such as this, and then the remake will actually be worthwhile?

Nightmare In A Damaged Brain - a whole lot of nothing happens for 99% of the movie, and generally undeserving of its Video Nasty status. Plus the DVD release is dreadful. How this barely clings onto any life in this portion of the list is simply because it reminds me of when I was 18, just at university, and buying up newly released video nasties (such as superior horror gems like Maniac).

Oasis of the Zombies - so utterly rubbish that it's actually kind of fun. While a movie like Zombie Lake is silly and kinda rubbish, it actually has a lot going for it, however this movie doesn't. That said, it's a prime example of cheapy euro-trash euro-zombi flicks. If you want to know how to make a euro-zombi grindhouse movie, watch this.

Redneck Zombies - Troma-in-label-only, this tacky, cobbled together, shot-on-video mess appears on this portion of the list because there are some great, juicy bits of indie gore, and an infection scene which is basically the filmmakers employing every single special feature on their videocamera - the sort of feature that only family video amateurs will find any genuine interest in. It's hilarious, that scene. Ideal fodder for a "group piss take" viewing.

Zombie Nosh - Bill Hinzman further cashes in on Night of the Living Dead with this woefully executed hash-bash of nonsense and personal perversion. So bad it's kind of good.