Triple Bill Mini Musings: Vamps, Drinks, and Shotguns...

Stakeland:
What's it about?
Treating the vampire curse as if it was a zombie apocalypse, mixed with John Hillcoat's bleak The Road, this meandering tale of 'Boy' and 'Mister' casts a stylishly dark shadow across a sub-genre that is more commonly seen as romantic, or laced with temptation, rather than cannibalism, religious cults, and a struggle for survival in a dying world.
Who would I recognise in it?
Erm ... oh yeah, Danielle Harris.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The pacing isn't especially cinematic, as it feels more like a portion of an overall journey that we join for a little while, which can prove problematic in the second half when an ill-conceived 'big bad' is attempted to give the third act some sort of grand finale. However, turning a world in which vampires exist into a struggle for the very survival of humankind slaps a fresh lick of paint on proceedings that works quite well for the first half - but beyond that, the transient nature of the roughly-sketched supporting characters, and overall thrust of the plot can prove somewhat disappointing. Very stylish, oftentimes bleak, but quite distanced - however the overall impression remains positive. Good.

Click "READ MORE" below for thoughts on Arthur (the remake), and Get Carter (the original)...


Arthur (2011):
What's it about?
Remake of the classic Dudley Moore comedy about an utterly sozzled damn-near-billionaire who is made to marry for the sake of the family business, rather than for love - just when he runs into a free-spirited girl in the city, who he actually falls in love with.
Who would I recognise in it?
Russell Brand, Helen Mirren, Greta Gerwig, Jennifer Garner, Luis Guzman.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Half the time Brand is impersonating the superior Dudley Moore, and half the time he's doing his same old schtick which tickles and grates in equal measure. Gerwig gives good as the lovely young thing, but she doesn't get an awful lot to do, however casting Helen Mirren as a female Hobson was a good idea, mind, as she brings a touch of class and humour to proceedings. There are intermittent moments of actual heart to the flick, where you see what could have been if the filmmakers had had a bit more courage, but for every such moments there's two or three whole sequences that feel uninspired or predictable. It's a sloppy affair at times, but not a total write-off either - but you're best sticking with the original, unsurprisingly. Alright.


Get Carter:
What's it about?
Michael Caine plays the eponymous London gangster who returns to the industrial wastes, cramped row houses, and the niche pockets of upper middle class country life of Newcastle to find out who killed his brother.
Who would I recognise in it?
Michael Caine, of course, also Britt Eckland.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Initially a bit slow-on-the-go, once the film gets going on all cylinders its grim-and-gruff reputation explodes onto the screen - no wonder the film is a British cinematic classic. Bleak, dark, gritty, and hard-as-nails; when you watch the film it almost feels like Carter's trying to fling you off the nearest bit of brutalist 1960s concrete architecture, nevermind the cast of shady crims. Great.