Triple Bill Mini Musings: Mucky Movies, Hollywood Wannabes, and Remorseful Buyers...

Don Jon:
What's it about?
The titular porn addict meets a 'ten' (a romcom obsessive), but his penchant for mucky movies comes between them.
Who would I recognise in it?
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Scarlett Johanson, Julianne Moore, Brie Larson, Tony Danza.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
JGL's debut as writer/director is not only confident, but it's efficient. The premise is clear, the set-up is pin sharp in its directness, and the presentation is immaculate and lively. Jon's life is one of routine, whether it's confessing his same old sins and repenting for them while pumping iron, or doling out road rage and cleaning his apartment ... or 'losing himself' in his favourite online past-time. JGL is wise not to condemn nor condone the actions and outlooks of his central characters, instead allowing the viewer to observe their respective lives and revelations (or lack thereof) objectively, and yet never at a distance. As debuts go - and characters studies in general - this is a particularly strong outing. Great.

Click "READ MORE" below for a so-called comeback and a mixed bag of tricks...

The Canyons:
What's it about?
The so-called Lindsay Lohan comeback vehicle in which a bunch of Hollywood wannabes cheat on each other.
Who would I recognise in it?
Lindsay Lohan, James Deen, Gus Van Sant.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Penned by Bret Easton Ellis (several of whose novels have been made into films including American Psycho), and directed by Paul Shrader (best known for writing Taxi Driver), there's sadly no escaping the turgid dialogue and low stakes naval-gazing of characters who are generally not that engaging. That said, Deen (a porn star) gives pretty good sociopathic producer, even if he does take things a tad too seriously, but the cast of characters are either too unlikable or not outrageous enough to bother investing in. Ellis is well known for writing despicable characters (addicts and narcissists amongst them), but The Canyons sorely lacks the understandably muddled college kids of Rules Of Attraction, or the deliciously twisted Wall Street wolves of American Psycho. On the plus side the flick looks pretty damn nice (including a laser light foursome), and there are moments of glimpsed potential dotted about. Is it a disaster? No. Is it a missed opportunity? Yes. On the cusp between alright and shite.

The Counselor (Extended Cut):
What's it about?
Ridley Scott's glossy thriller about a murky drug deal with a Mexican cartel goes tits up and the lawyer of the film's title finds himself in too deep.
Who would I recognise in it?
Michael Fassbender, Penelope Cruz, Javier Bardem, Cameron Diaz, Brad Pitt, and more.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Written by Cormac McCarthy, the film gains positives and negatives from the script's novelistic style and evasion of traditional structure. What's most unfortunate is a dodgy sense of pace, not helped by some bogged-down scenes where the characters waffle on in the most awkward manner possible. If they talked like that in a book it would work better - if you could read the words yourself you'd be able to ponder the meaty meanings and obtuse presentation - but as spoken dialogue the viewer is often left scrambling to keep up. It's like a more scholarly version of The Architect in The Matrix Reloaded. There's a strange sense of crudity at times, which feels at odds with Scott's typically lush presentation (the most bizarre being the sight of Cameron Diaz getting fresh with a car as Javier Bardem's drug dealer sits there as bemused as the audience). However, there are stand-out moments - Pitt's cautionary tales of cartel snuff videos being one, and the blood-gushing pay-off to an earlier mention of a 'bolito' to name but two. Overall it's a strange beast with an unbalanced tone, and a split mix of scenes - some are deadly dull or simply confusing, while others are wrought with buyer's remorse and occasional tension (e.g. the wire man scene). Flawed, oh yes, unbalanced, sure, but it's misfires are equal to it's bull's eyes. On the cusp between good and alright.