I've been known to have some really weird-arse dreams, and bearing in mind I once had a dream where I attended a news conferance held by my barber, in my high school hall (facing the opposite way to normal), about her going on holiday ... can women be classed as "barbers" or is that more a male label, like "actor" versus "actress" ... then all of a sudden we're in a sewer system just underneath the main hall with gerbil assassins trying to kill me as I surf a pepperoni pizza atop green, gooey water gloop which rushes through a system of toy fire stations from Ghostbusters (anyone remember those brilliant toys from the 1980s, swivelling fire pole and everything...brilliant)...so aye, I've had some corkingly odd dreams before...where the following two fit, by comparison, I certainly don't know.
Nature must have been calling because not being able to get into a toilet was a key theme...basically, I was some kind of agent - along the lines of Agent Mulder - so it's a bit X-Files, but less stoic...anyway, myself and my fellow agent are staying with some Indian family - because for some reason we're in India.
This family literally has about 100 kids - but oddly of all colours - and I just wanna use their bog, but there's a constant stream of kids flocking in and out constantly (as there's so many of them) trying to use it, there's no lock and the curtains for the windows have one of those pulley thingies you yank on, although you have to pull it for AGES to make it move a mere distance.
Ultimately I give up when a swarm of these various kids of this family swarm into the bathroom and scare me out so I suddenly end up on the outskirts of this town at the side of some dirt road with my agent partner investigating some sort of mass murder case - turns out the family we'd been staying with/are staying with are the murderers. So we freak out about that...but then all of a sudden we're sifting through various decomposing - and REALLY F*CKING GROSS - remains (severed hands mainly). Anyway, they're absolutely disgusting, they absolutely stink and they're all slimey and falling apart as I pick at them with tweezers until eventually I'm confronted with a picture list of all the body parts found and there's this one of a severed head with the face all mashed up like a rotten piece of fruit and at that point I start gagging in my dream and then snap awake where I'm also actually gagging, seriously just about to chuck up all over my bedroom wall, hahaha...fortunately I didn't, but how bloody weird.
Then I went back to sleep, concentrating hard on *NOT* thinking of that picture list of rotting body parts found in the town's outskirts, and end up having a new dream where I end up going to some hotel type building which I vaguely remember living at - but due to a car accident I don't even remember, it f*cked up my memory...I know I lived at this place, but have no recollection of it...so I'm there to see if they remember me or not and they seem to, but they're about ready to call up the psychiatric ward and get me thrown away...and this is where it gets really bizarre.
Now, this dream is set in a Miami type place, but in England - just as a side note of information. Anyway, the weird bit, I'm there at the reception with ... dun-dun-dun ... both an Alien and a Predator, but they aren't enemies, mainly because the Alien doesn't know the Predator also hunts his kind. We end up scarpering up the elevator shaft (me being pulled up by the Alien and the Predator) and we end up at this apartment that was apparently mine before this mystery accident...anyway, inside it's actually the Predator's apartment and having seen Predator 2 I know there's gonna be an Alien skull somewhere, so I'm running around trying to find it so I can cover it up, lest the Alien see it and go mental. There's a load of really bizarre skulls all over the walls and it looks like the Predator ship at the end of Predator 2...
And then I woke up...there was a bit more at the start of that second dream, but I forgot it...anyway, bloody weird dreams, eh?