The Hobbit: The Battle of The Five Armies:
What's it about?
Trilogy-closing entry in Peter Jackson's elongated adaptation of J.R.R. Tolkein's "The Hobbit" in which Smaug unleashes his fury, Thorin Oakenshield wrestles with a King's madness, and a war is unleashed. Dwarves, Hobbits, Elves, Wizards, Orcs, Men, and the like having a massive ruck, put simply.
Who would I recognise in it?
Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm, Christopher Lee, Hugo Weaving, Lee Pace, Evangeline Lilly, Orlando Bloom, Billy Connolly, Luke Evans, Stephen Fry, and practically all the others still surviving from the previous movies.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The shortest of all the Hobbit (and Rings) movies, the oft-talked-about problems with stretching a novella into a trilogy of films become most obvious. Despite including material from the appendices, the fact that the film opens with the burning of Lake Town (as teased at the end of the second movie) says a lot about the awkward mid-production decision to turn two films into three. The opening, as spectacular and entertaining as it is, still feels more like the last fifteen minutes of The Desolation of Smaug instead of the opening of The Battle of The Five Armies. However, despite the occasionally mangled sense of pacing, TBOTFA gives more of what you want out of these films. If you enjoyed the previous movies you'll enjoy this, but it could be argued that it is also the least of all six films (Hobbit and Rings). Although, being the least in this company still makes for solid entertainment and captivating world-building...
Click "READ MORE" below to continue the review and read about Hatchet 3 and The Inbetweeners 2...
Bilbo might be somewhat lost in the background of all the fighting, but being a Hobbit his contributions to events are always going to be more subtle. Speaking of battles, there's plenty of that going on, but when it stretches beyond personal fights (e.g. the rousing Thorin versus Azog punch-up) and gets lost in CG Elves slicing up CG beasties in impossible swirling camera moves, your attention starts to drift. However, you're not allowed to drift for long as the stakes are raised, lives are lost, and key action sequences inject thrills and peril in equal measure. Despite the aforementioned pacing issues - exacerbated by the annual release schedule - Jackson wisely keeps future audiences in-mind who'll be able to watch all six movies in story chronology in marathon viewing sessions. The closing link to Fellowship of the Ring is a welcome hand-off, but does remind you of the superiority of the Rings over the Hobbit ... that said, the quality of TBOTFA remains very high by any other scale. Good.
Hatchet 3:
What's it about?
Series-closing blood-soaked slasher about a deformed and cursed swampland psychopath with a penchant for exceptionally gore-ific killing sprees.
Who would I recognise in it?
Danielle Harris, Caroline Williams, Zach Galligan, Derek Mears, Sid Haig, Kane Hodder, and more.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Going somewhat off the deep end, Hatchet 3 provides yet more swampland-set mayhem with franchise writer/director Adam Green relinquishing the director's chair to BJ McDonnell this time around. The knowing winks and stunt casting of horror fan favourites continues, playing heavily to the target audience, give life to the far from original spin on the genre (no change there then). Treading on new ground hasn't been something this franchise is known for, but by this third film it has finally established it's own world. The previous two movies were deeply indebted to the Friday the 13th franchise (and similar films), but this time the comedy gorefest manages to mostly stand on its own two feet. It's not scary by any means, but it is entertaining and generally efficient ... despite a bit too much focus on Caroline Williams' reporter having to convince the same people, over and over and over, that she knows how to end this chaos once and for all. If you've seen the others you'll know exactly what to expect, and whatever you thought of those previous two movies will most likely count for this third iteration too. On the cusp between good and alright.
The Inbetweeners 2:
What's it about?
Will, Simon, Neil, and Jay reunite in Australia (where the latter has been partying hard, according to his lie-ridden letter home) to get away from their frustrating university lives in Britain. Naturally, when they arrive, Jay's glorious description of his "mental gap year" isn't exactly as advertised.
Who would I recognise in it?
Simon Bird, James Buckley, Blake Harrison, Joe Thomas, and many of the other faces familiar to Inbetweeners fans.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Initially taking a good twenty minutes to find its stride, The Inbetweeners 2 (the rather successful sequel to the exceptionally successful comedy hit) delivers more of the cringe-inducing silliness you're looking for. Having avoided as many trailers as possible, I came to the film quite fresh and without knowing any of the 'key jokes' (trailers have a terrible habit of giving away the entire movie these days ... it must be stopped), and I feel the approach paid off. There's plenty of enjoyable 'banter' thrown around, a few good 'comedy shocks', and some deliciously savage piss-taking of the whole 'gap yah' culture. More of the same and just as fun. Good.
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