Syndicate Sadists (Umberto Lenzi, 1975) DVD Review

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“I'm not scared now that you're here.” All the boys admire Rambo (Thomas Milian, The Cynic, The Rat, and The Fist), the rogue with a scuffed heart of gold, as director Umberto Lenzi (Nightmare Beach) mashes Sergio Leone's Dollars trilogy with The Godfather for this well-crafted poliziotteschi where a drifter rides in on a (steel) horse and gets entangled with two criminal gangs. Italy in the 1970s was a hotbed of headline-grabbing violence from high profile kidnappings to home-grown terrorism, and it was against this backdrop that 'Eurocrime' films dashed onto silver screens in a cacophony of squealing tires and blazing guns...

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Rippin' Throats Edition: The Walking Dead 4x16 Memes...

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Well there we have it - season four has come to an end! We've got several months to wait until season 5 rolls around, so in the mean time here's 7 brand new TWD memes.

Click each image for FULL SIZE.

Click to Enlarge: Now what the hell are we supposed to do?!

Click "READ MORE" below for SIX more memes **WARNING: EPISODE SPOILERS AHEAD**...

The Expendables...

It's interesting that the reviews for this flick have been so split, and that the reviewers who didn't like it also didn't like Rambo. I on the other hand absolutely loved Rambo - proper, old school (with modern techniques) balls-out hardcore action ... like the dictionary definition of "bad ass" made into a movie.

Now along comes The Expendables, and as it said explicitly on the tin, this is an old school throwback to 1980s action cinema - but, yep, with modern techniques and a modern pace. Think along the lines of Cobra, Red Heat, and Commando - but remove the cheesiness, and ante up the action by a hundred and there you are.

It's all about big dudes, big personalities, big muscles, big guns and even bigger explosions - and the big finish to this movie certainly delivers on all of those to exhausting lengths (in a seriously enjoyable way). Many of the classic 80s action flicks - the movies that served action icons of the era so well - had a simple plot, and it's no different here. If you want a complex, conflicted and troubled arse kicker, look elsewhere - the spiffing Bourne trilogy, or Daniel Craig's James Bond are there and waiting ... The Expendables is just about being awesome.

Jason Bourne et al are, if I dare to stagger into a mangled comparison, akin to Nirvana. They delivered a hard edged sound but with the lyrics exploring the deep, dark depths of Cobain's troubled mind and life. The Expendables (and Rambo, for that matter), is akin to AC/DC ... catchy rock riffs with thunderstruck raspy lyrics. AC/DC are bad ass - and The Expendables is bad ass.

Some of the big names might be somewhat sidelined, some might say, but they all tear up the screen with their big-time presences. Stallone (an 80/90s action icon) and Statham (a 00/10's action icon) are the leads here, and they have a nice rapport going throughout. It's a rapport which infiltrates the whole movie - a nice, unobtrusive mix of humour amidst the exploding buildings, flying bullets, and splattering gore.

Speaking of which, there is some pretty obvious CGI gore littered throughout the movie. It's properly good fun, no doubt, but certain shots could have used a bit more work to blend the CG-claret more smoothly into the existing picture. That said, the action and cutting are so fast-paced you won't have time to linger - and thankfully the shaky-cam doesn't run roughshod over the proceedings. Again the movie strikes a nice balance - between understanding and seeing all the cool action stuff, and giving the audience a suitably rough ride for the duration.

Like with Rambo, I eagerly await this flick on home video release. I had a properly fun time, with a grin from ear-to-ear, and I do hope the DVD/BR release is jam-packed with equally arse kicking extras. The protagonist's souls may be tortured, but they don't whine about it, they blow something up instead. It's classic action with a modern sense of showmanship ... and I can't help but think that at least some of those complaining about the movie have completely and utterly missed the entire point of the movie.

Two effed up flicks...

Teeth:

It's just one of those fucked up movies, and obviously you freak out with eek-eyed shock everytime a male member gets lopped off - but then again, all such members get severed as a result of some form of sexual violence, disrespect or just plain old perviness.

Otherwise, I wasn't particularly fussed by the rest of the movie at all, and ended up skimming a magazine at the same time between the shock parts of the movie. Basically that's it, I found it to be generally "meh/alright" with moments of intense "WTF" mixed in.

Funny Games:

Finally got around to checking this one out, and yet again another fucked up film. Mind you, there's barely any violence on screen. Apparently the director is harping on at we the viewer because we should be ashamed of ourselves for watching movies like SAW and Rambo.

Ugh - roll eyes time - fair play you could say, but I think all movies have a purpose (whether it's worth while or not is a per-movie assessment though).

For example, Rambo is a great film and the greatest slice of old school, hardcore action blokery since the 1980s. Yes, it's exceptionally violent and gory - but importantly, you're shocked when said violence is descended upon the innocent, and then you're cheering when it's dished back out against the vile, scum-sucking military junta who conduct themselves in an excessively sickening manner. Plus, it does highlight the Burmese plight while at the same time providing action entertainment - what's wrong with that?

As for SAW, it was the set-up that hooked me in first of all, and then the twisting of the story. The gore in the first one is present, but far from excessive (so I'd say anyway), and it was the plight the character's faced that captured my attention - and indeed the twist had me slack-jawed and WTF-ing for a good while after the end credits. SAW II, which was based on a non-SAW script, wasn't cracked up to much. A naff story and often cringe-inducing gore gags didn't leave a good impression, but then SAW III - with it's back-tracking plot and better story - redelivered the goods. Mind you, the gore gags were far more gruesome than the first film ... and it becomes less about entertainment, than shock cinema survival.

Then came SAW IV ... which was a total load of garbage, no doubt SAW V and indeed VI will continue in the same vein as IV.

But anyway - Funny Games, which is what I'm supposed to be on about. Superb performances throughout by all involved, and as a result the simple story often keeps you gripped (even if at times the pacing felt a bit sluggish at certain points). That said, some of the quieter moments - like trying to raise the alarm seemingly after the worst is over - feels real and honest, and indeed the off-screen violence does up the power of the action, but then again so does using a target that is rarely used in film (you'll see what I mean about half way through).

So a generally impressive film, but I do object to the eye-roll-inducing, somewhat holier-than-thou preaching regarding on-screen violence ... I mean, chill out - you're making a fictional movie, sheesh.

Also - I'd much rather have mankind work out their inner turmoil, violence, hatred and all other nasty goings on in a safe medium - such as videogames, or film - rather than do what the vast minority do and take it out on real people, on the real streets and in the real homes of our real, actual world.

More summertime movie musings...

Batman:

Aye, the original 1989 box-office-bothering Tim Burton flick. I'd only seen it once before and what with The Dark Knight approaching, I figured I'd go back to the first Burton movie (the fact it was on sale for a fiver had a hand in this too).

Great stuff indeed, Nicholson is fucking great in no uncertain terms. With that fresh in my mind, it's going to be even more interesting to see the late Ledger's performance in the same role. While Nicholson was demented and fairly dark, he was also wickedly over the top and ... well, a real joker.

Ledger's version feels far, far darker. While Nicholson's might have been the Elvis style incarnation of the cackling one, Ledger's - from the trailers that have been shown at least - feels like the Sid Vicious incarnation. There's still a sense of humour, but it's all pitch black and nigh-on terrifying ... demented to say the least. No doubt it will be a fitting end to Ledger's sadly too short career.

Anyway, Batman 1989 ... indeed ... a spiffing film, but bloody hell have blockbuster action super hero type movies changed a lot in the past 19 years. At times, during action sequences, the pace of Batman felt positively sedate ... then again, there wasn't much internet or Sky TV or YouTube around in 1989 with "the yoof" consuming multiple media sources simultaneously and at a far greater speed than ever before. As a result, blockbuster fare has followed this trend.

So while it's not exceptionally gripping anymore, it's still a bloody good watch. But then again I guess it's all subjective and changes from film to film. After all, I've said in the past that I was - and indeed still am - positively gripped by The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford...and that's the best part of three hours and generally sedate and poetic.

Anyway, Batman still garners two fresh thumbs from me.

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Rambo:

I've already spoken about it, but I recently got the DVD from America.

First though, I was rather pissed off by the mixed and confusing information from the distributors regarding the content of the discs. I got the 1-disc thinking it had the extras on it - it doesn't, it has FUCK ALL on it. I avoided the 2-disc edition because I figured 'if the 1-disc has extras, why spend two more quid for a digital copy that I won't use and apparently doesn't work anyway' ... DVDTimes, a site that until now was entirely trust worthy in providing pre-release info, failed to notice than the 1-disc is devoid of any extras. So it's a bit of a kick in the nuts. It would have been nice to listen to Sly's commentary and see the featurettes about everything and everybody getting thoroughly shot to shit.

Oh well, can't win them all.

Back to Rambo itself though, it's still bloody awesome fun. The manliest slice of blokery since the Berlin Wall was sledge-hammered to smithereens.

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Futurama: Bender's Big Score:

Again, I've already spoken about it, but I got the DVD in preparation of the second feature coming out later this month (on the same day as Diary of the Dead as well, I might add).

Still superb and still tons funnier than The Simpson's has been for the past 9 or 10 seasons. More please!

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The A-Team: Season 5:

Yes, not a movie, but who cares it's still awesome and therefore shut up...

I'm still mid-way through this final season of the excellent boy's own adventure show, and it's still good. I even like the remix of the theme tune ... the original version still pwns everything aural, but the remix still gets me in the mood to take down mob bosses with a cigar hanging out of the corner of my mouth.

Quality fun for any child of the 1980s. Nuff said.

Cinema trip extravaganza!

It's been a fair cinema-going sesh of late for me, a bunch of the lads and I all finding time, at the same time, to dish out £6.20 for some movie-going-fun.

First up was Rambo, a mish in itself. The target cinema was closed due to having no water (sounds random I know, but it's a legal thing) so it was a complete 24-style barge-it to the next nearest Cineworld. Fortunately Ben was familiar with the city and guided me to the car park near the cinema. After a panicked run to the cinema itself, then tickets, then seemingly a never-ending succession of fucking escalators (being someone who's got a big problem with heights - I honestly think it's a balance problem, I find it difficult enough standing sometimes, ha!), there was just enough time to ditch some fluid and walk in - literally as the distributor logo was coming up.

Perfect timing indeed ... although having not adjusted to the dark, we pawed around like a bunch of idiots to find seats. However, the movie was fucking awesome - pure, hardcore, properly adult, old-school 80's style action'tainment.

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Then of course it was Diary of the Dead, as previously blogged about, which was my first ever time cine-going full-on Billy-No-Mates. Despite the projection fuck up at one point, it was awesome. Long live Romero!

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Next up - the next day in fact - off to see Vantage Point, in a proper gang as a few mates going extended ever-further until we had a right convoy on the go. An average film, good entertainment, Quaid was awesome, but the 4th and especially 5th rewind started to extract the piss and test patiences ... as one mate said, the sort of film you could have easily waited to rent on DVD. Still though, plenty of chuckles and lulz were had on the car-rides to-and-fro ... and in the end, isn't that half of the fun of a cine-trip anyway?

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Most recently - Drillbit Taylor - not the best laugher with Apatow & Rogen's names slapped on it, but not that bad either. A solid amount of larfs were had, it all works out (obviously) and certainly good night-out fodder ... but not Superbad level comedy. You do feel that perhaps DT is somewhat neutered as a PG-13/12A flick, but it's still a good chuckle in numerous places.

And yes, many lulz were had on the ride to-and-fro, including some Drillbit Taylor-inspired high school/sixth form reminiscing ... at first about the awesome new episode of South Park (the one about "Cheesing") and videogames, but mainly about the lass' who retained our attention throughout that time ... ahhh memory lane.

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And yes - part two - another trip is in the planning stage. Most likely In Bruges, which looks pretty darn funny.

Peace out chaps.

My war isn't over, Adrian...

Well, after finishing "A Bridge Too Far", I decided to re-visit the "Rambo" trilogy (soon to join the legion of "4th in the series of" sequels of recent times (the trailer looking awesome), and I have to say, the first movie is awesome. The 2nd and 3rd are good, but not awesome, nor shite...but not superb, although I get their reason for being - 2nd movie is Rambo returning to Vietnam, 3rd movie is Rambo's modern day Vietnam, after ending his personal war with Vietnam he needed a new war to fight, so it ended up being in Afghanistan ... although being thoroughly perplexed by Middle Eastern politics, I don't know where "Rambo 3" fits in with all the shite going on over there now.

All this talk of "Rambo" though, does remind me of the hilarious, yet fully justified, rant from the Angry Nintendo Nerd regarding film franchises and the titles - such as these films:

1) First Blood
2) Rambo: First Blood 2
3) Rambo 3
4) John Rambo

There's not the consistency of Stallone's other franchise, that is the utterly superb "Rocky" series - solid Roman Numberals all the way till the last one, which as we all should know is "Rocky Balboa" - although that is fully justified, it was such a long gap since "Rocky V", and it exists in a different time, whereas the previous films were all quite quick-fired out, or within the same range of time ... it's why I guess "Live Free or Die Hard/Die Hard 4.0" makes sense ... technically ... I say technically, because both those titles suck - just call THAT film "DIE HARD 4" and leave it be, but as Stallone is actually a Jack of several trades, he does inject his own soul into his heroes - particularly Rocky - so I think it makes complete sense of cap-off his two biggest characters by titling their final films after the protagonist.

I recently re-watched the second half of "Rocky II", recent as in yesterday morning when I was waiting to use the internet, and it just reminded me of how awesome those films are (well, the fifth is a bit tosh, but with all the Tommy Gun crap taken about, it's actually still pretty good, because it advances the story of Rocky Balboa onwards). Plus - the soundtrack is just awesome, I listened to the 'best of' compilation whilst doing some title sequence tests for "I Am Zombie Man 3", and considering the story of "IAZM3", whilst listening to the "Rocky" soundtrack, it just fit really well ... the vibes being somewhat similar.