Mosquito (Gary Jones, 1994) Review

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“My God – this looks like a proboscis!” Your common or garden mozzies have sucked the blood of an alien lifeform that has crashed to earth, and now they've mutated into giant man-killers and they've got a mad thirst on for some juicy human haemoglobin. So who's gonna save the world? A park ranger, a meteor hunter, and a chainsaw-wielding bank robber, that's who!...

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Flavours of the Month: May & June 2024...

Rural japes, problematic paranormal adventures, and jacking-in to 'run the net' are just some of what's been setting the tone of my May & June 2024...

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Stone Cold (Craig R. Baxley, 1991) Review

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“Welcome to my slaughterhouse!” There's an out-of-control biker gang menacing the people of Mississippi and there's only one man brave enough to go undercover, the type of man who has not a dog, but a giant lizard for a pet, the sort of burly slab of beef that has no qualms about walking around in an alarmingly skimpy pair of underpants, the very breed of man who straddles a rumbling road hog and states the bleedin' obvious as if it was profound revelation – his name's Huff, Joe Huff!...

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Flavours of the Month: March & April 2024...

Apocalyptic retro-futurism, laid back pixel packing, and a trip to Delta City is some of what's been setting the tone of my March and April of 2024...

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Destroy All Neighbors (Josh Forbes, 2024) Review

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“Rock and roll is about being on time.” The nightmare neighbour next door with their loud music blasting all through the night while you lie there in bed awake, eyes bloodshot and weary, wanting to put a stop to it and never having the stones to do it. But what if one day you worked up the gumption to bang on that door and tell them to turn it down … and then accidentally killed them?...

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Flavours of the Month: January & February 2024...

Bone-crunching action, mysterious woodland happenings, and the rediscovery of creativity is just some of what's been setting the tone of my January & February 2024...

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Vice Academy (Rick Sloane, 1989) Review...

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“A Vice cop?! I feel used and violated.” From 1984 through to the end of the decade, six Police Academy movies were released (a seventh came in the mid-90s). What started out as a raunchy comedy quickly turned into a family franchise with cartoonish gags and even broader characters, rendering it practically a parody of itself. And still, along came Vice Academy, a cheap-as-chips combination of sauciness and spoof, in which a gaggle of goofy police trainees – headed up by Scream Queen legend Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-o-rama) – attempt to make ten arrests to qualify for graduation. First stop, that most hilarious of subjects: an under-age smut operation … wait, what?!...

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