Pentuple Bill Mini Musings: Guns, Killer Laundry, Grind, Nightmares, and Badlands...

Nude Nuns With Big Guns:
What's it about?
If you can't figure it out from the title, then you've little hope for the future.
Who would I recognise in it?
Nobody, unless you've seen Run! Bitch Run!
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
If flattery is the highest form of compliment, then Robert Rodriguez must be blushing, because Guzman & Co have unrepentently ripped-off his ouvre - particularly Grindhouse (even the music from the opening sequence is highly influenced/half-inched from RR's ode to the sleaze flicks of 42nd Street). The presentation is much improved over Guzman's previous flick, the aforementioned Run! Bitch Run! (which was highly indebted to The Last House on the Left, and I Spit On Your Grave), although it too is utterly indebted to the work of others - but even still, for a low budget faux-grindhouse flick such as this mean-spirited outing, it's put together well enough to not distract from the onslaught of bared flesh and brandished firearms. The script is a bit thin (unsurprisingly, as you might imagine), yet heftier than RBR's, and the pacing is sometimes a bit slow, but it certainly passes the Ronseal test - it does exactly what it says on the tin ... it's just a shame that Joseph Guzman, Robert James Hayes II, and company, are seemingly such unashamed rip-off merchants in the process. Alright.

Click "READ MORE" below for killer laundry machines, movie documentaries, and two crazy kids on the run from the law.


The Mangler:
What's it about?
At the Blue Ribbon Laundry, a monstrous piece of laundry equipment is possessed by a devil - for some reason - and goes about killing people. Seriously.
Who would I recognise in it?
Ted Levine, Robert Englund.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Directed by Tobe Hooper, this barmy adaptation of a Stephen King story is iffy - the plot is pretty darn daft, with numerous plot holes and giant leaps in logic added for good measure - but there's some pretty gruesome gushes of gore now-and-then, backed up by totally over-the-top performances from Levine and Englund (most commonly otherwise known as Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs, and Freddy Krueger). If you're down for something silly, or if you're a hardcore fan of Stephen King adaptations, then you'll get a decent 90 minutes out of this bizarre creation. Alright.


American Grindhouse:
What's it about?
An entertaining documentary about the history of exploitation cinema from its birth to the 1970s, particularly the so-called 'grindhouse' cinema, which is synonymous with 42nd Street in the New York City of old.
Who would I recognise in it?
Narrated by Robert Forster, this doc features a range of cinematic legends.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
This swiftly paced documentary (82 minutes) is presented in such a stylish and breezy manner that it really is the perfect combination of entertainment and information. History merges with nostalgia as we tour through the sights, sounds, and impact of the so-called 'illegitimate cinema' which, in its truest form, began to die out as pornography started to take over 42nd Street prior to the whole area being cleaned up entirely thereafter. Great.


Nightmares in Red, White and Blue:
What's it about?
A documentary that examines the horror genre, from Edison's 1910 version of Frankenstein, to the so-called torture porn sub-genre of Saw and Hostel.
Who would I recognise in it?
A range of horror genre legends, with narration by Lance Henriksen.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Covering a century of horror in 96 minutes does make for a swift old ride (the best horror movie documentary I've ever seen was The American Nightmare by Adam Simon, covering the 1960s and 1970s), which often leads to scant coverings of major movements in horror cinema history - but as an overview it works well with nice presentation. However, it does get a bit pessimistic and dark towards the end. Good.


Badlands:
What's it about?
Somewhat similar to the Starkweather case, a guy from the wrong side of the tracks gets together with a teenage girl in a go-nowhere rural town, and spirits her away on a cross-country journey as they try to outrun the law.
Who would I reconigse in it?
Martin Sheen, Sissy Spacek.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Terrence Malick's debut feature film illustrates the genesis of his style, and his fondness for combining poetic imagery with lyrical narration. The score is iconic too. Good.