Nude Nuns With Big Guns:
What's it about?
If you can't figure it out from the title, then you've little hope for the future.
Who would I recognise in it?
Nobody, unless you've seen Run! Bitch Run!
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
If flattery is the highest form of compliment, then Robert Rodriguez must be blushing, because Guzman & Co have unrepentently ripped-off his ouvre - particularly Grindhouse (even the music from the opening sequence is highly influenced/half-inched from RR's ode to the sleaze flicks of 42nd Street). The presentation is much improved over Guzman's previous flick, the aforementioned Run! Bitch Run! (which was highly indebted to The Last House on the Left, and I Spit On Your Grave), although it too is utterly indebted to the work of others - but even still, for a low budget faux-grindhouse flick such as this mean-spirited outing, it's put together well enough to not distract from the onslaught of bared flesh and brandished firearms. The script is a bit thin (unsurprisingly, as you might imagine), yet heftier than RBR's, and the pacing is sometimes a bit slow, but it certainly passes the Ronseal test - it does exactly what it says on the tin ... it's just a shame that Joseph Guzman, Robert James Hayes II, and company, are seemingly such unashamed rip-off merchants in the process. Alright.
Click "READ MORE" below for killer laundry machines, movie documentaries, and two crazy kids on the run from the law.
Showing posts with label red. Show all posts
Showing posts with label red. Show all posts
Sunday, 27 May 2012
Sunday, 2 January 2011
Hextuple Bill Mini Musings: December 2010 left overs...
The Descent: Part 2:
Neil Marshall's spelunking 'chicks with picks' claustrophobic nerve shredder was a truly wonderful piece of pin-sharp scare mongering, but annoyingly for the American release it had to have an 'up' ending (relatively speaking) ... or, rather than 'up', an ending capable of providing a sequel.
So here we are with a second part that brings in a bunch of American spelunkers, including one beligerant bastard of a Sheriff, and off we go again as the sole survivor of the first quietly goes along with the plan to head back down into the caves.
There are a few moments of nice scene setting, but there's no mystery here. The first had mystery, and it had build-up (lots of it), and most importantly it was nail-bitingly claustrophobic and provided a handful of proper scares. Sadly, yet entirely predictably, this unnecessary sequel can't beat Marshall's superior original, which should have always been a stand-alone affair.
Lost Highway:
Having been all about Twin Peaks for a few weeks, I figured I'd give David Lynch's surreal dose of disjointed nightmares another go - I say that because during my teenage years I attempted to watch it and gave up after half an hour. So a good ten-or-more years later I returned, determined to see it through to the end.
There's not really much of a plot, nor does it seem there is supposed to be one, so really it's a series of vaguely connected nightmares and nightmarish ideas. Like a blended mixture of shreds of various disturbed night's sleep. I much prefer Blue Velvet, but it was good to finally see this one through to the end.
The Bird With The Crystal Plumage:
Everything that Dario Argento is, does best, and does time-and-again, is exemplified during an early sequence in which an artist witnesses a mysterious attempted murder in an art gallery. Everything about this sequence summarises Argento's direction, writing, and attention to appearances.
Typically, the plot has its fair share of holes (particularly the typically last-minute-seeming twist), but Argento has never really been about having a solid plot. It's all about the carefully crafted design behind the camera of what is in front of the camera, and Crystal Plumage proved to be an involving muder mystery.
Deep Red:
Similar to Crystal Plumage, this gore-flecked murder mystery features an artist (a pianist) becoming fascinated by solving a murder, which becomes a series of murders, featuring a figure clad in leather gloves, a black hat, and a leather trench coat. Once again the plot isn't the main focus - it's the lush visuals and sheer design aesthetic - and, again, the twist reveal is all a bit hurried. However, once again, this proved to be a hypnotically good bit of giallo.
The Cat O'Nine Tails:
It's not really a horror flick, it's a murder mystery, that just so happens to feature moments of horror-movie-like crimson grue, and - you guessed it - aesthetic takes the driver's seat. The plot is a little more dense than either Deep Red or Crystal Plumage, and while I enjoyed it least of the three, I still dug the overall vibe.
Up In The Air:
Thank You For Smoking, and Juno, were both memorable comedies with an indie-ish vibe that stretched beyond the dull and banal traditions of many recent Hollywood laughers, and Up In The Air continues in a similar vein. The final act may prove less assured than the first half, which provides a strong central protagonist for George Clooney to sink his teeth into - a protagonist who is a bit of a narcisistic git who only cares about getting to 10 million frequent flier miles and being away from 'home' as much as possible. Yet, much to the quality of the script and direction, you never feel put off by this man - indeed you find yourself becoming fascinated, impressed even, by his carefully organised business travel life going from city-to-city sacking employees of various companies, whose bosses are too wimpy to do the deed themselves.
I really quite enjoyed it, and out of Reitman's two previous flicks, it feels more like Thank You For Smoking - with it's not-that-likeable-yet-still-likeable protagonist - than Juno, with it's face-punchingly-sarcastic high schooler.
Neil Marshall's spelunking 'chicks with picks' claustrophobic nerve shredder was a truly wonderful piece of pin-sharp scare mongering, but annoyingly for the American release it had to have an 'up' ending (relatively speaking) ... or, rather than 'up', an ending capable of providing a sequel.
So here we are with a second part that brings in a bunch of American spelunkers, including one beligerant bastard of a Sheriff, and off we go again as the sole survivor of the first quietly goes along with the plan to head back down into the caves.
There are a few moments of nice scene setting, but there's no mystery here. The first had mystery, and it had build-up (lots of it), and most importantly it was nail-bitingly claustrophobic and provided a handful of proper scares. Sadly, yet entirely predictably, this unnecessary sequel can't beat Marshall's superior original, which should have always been a stand-alone affair.
Lost Highway:
Having been all about Twin Peaks for a few weeks, I figured I'd give David Lynch's surreal dose of disjointed nightmares another go - I say that because during my teenage years I attempted to watch it and gave up after half an hour. So a good ten-or-more years later I returned, determined to see it through to the end.
There's not really much of a plot, nor does it seem there is supposed to be one, so really it's a series of vaguely connected nightmares and nightmarish ideas. Like a blended mixture of shreds of various disturbed night's sleep. I much prefer Blue Velvet, but it was good to finally see this one through to the end.
The Bird With The Crystal Plumage:
Everything that Dario Argento is, does best, and does time-and-again, is exemplified during an early sequence in which an artist witnesses a mysterious attempted murder in an art gallery. Everything about this sequence summarises Argento's direction, writing, and attention to appearances.
Typically, the plot has its fair share of holes (particularly the typically last-minute-seeming twist), but Argento has never really been about having a solid plot. It's all about the carefully crafted design behind the camera of what is in front of the camera, and Crystal Plumage proved to be an involving muder mystery.
Deep Red:
Similar to Crystal Plumage, this gore-flecked murder mystery features an artist (a pianist) becoming fascinated by solving a murder, which becomes a series of murders, featuring a figure clad in leather gloves, a black hat, and a leather trench coat. Once again the plot isn't the main focus - it's the lush visuals and sheer design aesthetic - and, again, the twist reveal is all a bit hurried. However, once again, this proved to be a hypnotically good bit of giallo.
The Cat O'Nine Tails:
It's not really a horror flick, it's a murder mystery, that just so happens to feature moments of horror-movie-like crimson grue, and - you guessed it - aesthetic takes the driver's seat. The plot is a little more dense than either Deep Red or Crystal Plumage, and while I enjoyed it least of the three, I still dug the overall vibe.
Up In The Air:
Thank You For Smoking, and Juno, were both memorable comedies with an indie-ish vibe that stretched beyond the dull and banal traditions of many recent Hollywood laughers, and Up In The Air continues in a similar vein. The final act may prove less assured than the first half, which provides a strong central protagonist for George Clooney to sink his teeth into - a protagonist who is a bit of a narcisistic git who only cares about getting to 10 million frequent flier miles and being away from 'home' as much as possible. Yet, much to the quality of the script and direction, you never feel put off by this man - indeed you find yourself becoming fascinated, impressed even, by his carefully organised business travel life going from city-to-city sacking employees of various companies, whose bosses are too wimpy to do the deed themselves.
I really quite enjoyed it, and out of Reitman's two previous flicks, it feels more like Thank You For Smoking - with it's not-that-likeable-yet-still-likeable protagonist - than Juno, with it's face-punchingly-sarcastic high schooler.
Thursday, 4 November 2010
Double Bill Mini-Cine Musings: Burke & Hare see RED...
RED...
Like a retirement age version of The Losers, which came out earlier this year (and also based upon a comic book), it's nothing special but it's a decent slab of fun at the same time. The action is solid, the plot gets the job done, but the real point in this flick is seeing the quality line-up of aging actors get their chompers into a bit of fun - the peak of this being Dame Helen Mirren, in a full evening gown, sternly pulling the trigger of a 50 calibre machine gun - and quite frankly, who doesn't want to see that?
Burke & Hare...
It's all true, except for the bits that aren't. Two of Edinburgh's nastiest historical figures are played for bumbling laughs in John Landis' return to filmmaking after a decade-long hiatus. It's obviously not going to have the cult following vibe of An American Werewolf in London, or the sheer farce-writ-large of The Blues Brothers, but Landis is clearly just out to have fun as he dips his toe back into the Director's profession.
It got an absolutely shocking review in Total Film (a mere 1/5!), but the vitriolic scorn poured over the two Williams is most undeserved. While it's not a real stomper of a laugh-fest, nor a real stormer of a horror flick (it was never supposed to be, aside from a couple of genuine jumps and gross-outs), it's - pardon me for using the term to describe a second movie in a row - a solid slab of entertainment.
Landis' 19th century Edinburgh is intriguing to behold (particularly for me as I was only in Edinburgh a couple of months ago on holiday), and I think the next time I go I'll be seeking out the locations used in the film. However, one of the real, and continuous, joys of the movie is seeing the procession of British comedic talent getting wheeled out for a scene or two each to fulfil all the side roles - again, it's clear as day that Landis is just out to have a bloody good time - to make a bumbling farce out of true horror, and that's exactly how Burke & Hare should be viewed.
Like a retirement age version of The Losers, which came out earlier this year (and also based upon a comic book), it's nothing special but it's a decent slab of fun at the same time. The action is solid, the plot gets the job done, but the real point in this flick is seeing the quality line-up of aging actors get their chompers into a bit of fun - the peak of this being Dame Helen Mirren, in a full evening gown, sternly pulling the trigger of a 50 calibre machine gun - and quite frankly, who doesn't want to see that?
Burke & Hare...
It's all true, except for the bits that aren't. Two of Edinburgh's nastiest historical figures are played for bumbling laughs in John Landis' return to filmmaking after a decade-long hiatus. It's obviously not going to have the cult following vibe of An American Werewolf in London, or the sheer farce-writ-large of The Blues Brothers, but Landis is clearly just out to have fun as he dips his toe back into the Director's profession.
It got an absolutely shocking review in Total Film (a mere 1/5!), but the vitriolic scorn poured over the two Williams is most undeserved. While it's not a real stomper of a laugh-fest, nor a real stormer of a horror flick (it was never supposed to be, aside from a couple of genuine jumps and gross-outs), it's - pardon me for using the term to describe a second movie in a row - a solid slab of entertainment.
Landis' 19th century Edinburgh is intriguing to behold (particularly for me as I was only in Edinburgh a couple of months ago on holiday), and I think the next time I go I'll be seeking out the locations used in the film. However, one of the real, and continuous, joys of the movie is seeing the procession of British comedic talent getting wheeled out for a scene or two each to fulfil all the side roles - again, it's clear as day that Landis is just out to have a bloody good time - to make a bumbling farce out of true horror, and that's exactly how Burke & Hare should be viewed.
Thursday, 12 August 2010
Triple Bill Mini Musings: One Pish, Two Good...
Year One:
I'm really quite glad I didn't waste money on this in the cinema. It didn't look funny from the trailers, and it certainly wasn't funny (bar one decent gag every fifteen minutes, pretty much) in its full form. Considering that this came from comedy icon Harold Ramis, the sheer dullness of Year One was most perplexing. Jack Black was on autopilot and Michael Cera was just annoying ... thankfully Ramis put in a decent cameo, and Oliver Platt was a hedonistic high point in an otherwise naff venture.
The Deal:
I'd never heard of it until it came onto Sky Movies recently. I saw that William H. Macy was in it, and that it was a "Hollywood satire", so that was interesting enough. It's not riotously funny, but it's far from bland - it was actually quite enjoyably silly. You're pulled along for the fun little ride, much like Macy's semi-suicidal filmmaker pulls Meg Ryan's stuck-up producer into his whirlwind world of blagging a way through. Worth a watch.
Red Heat:
I've always gotten Red Heat and Raw Deal mixed up until recently when they both turned up on ITV-4 ... note to them, by the way, stop showing 2.35:1 movies in cropped 16x9! Just stop it! ... and now I know how to distinguish them. Raw Deal is the cheesy, pretty rubbish load of old nonsense about an American cop (Arnie), and Red Heat is the arse-kicking proper action flick about a Russian cop (Arnie). While Raw Deal was an example of a movie being a bad representation of 80s action flicks, Red Heat is the exact opposite. Good action, good script, and good direction ... I do wonder why it's taken me all these years to finally get around to seeing it.
I'm really quite glad I didn't waste money on this in the cinema. It didn't look funny from the trailers, and it certainly wasn't funny (bar one decent gag every fifteen minutes, pretty much) in its full form. Considering that this came from comedy icon Harold Ramis, the sheer dullness of Year One was most perplexing. Jack Black was on autopilot and Michael Cera was just annoying ... thankfully Ramis put in a decent cameo, and Oliver Platt was a hedonistic high point in an otherwise naff venture.
The Deal:
I'd never heard of it until it came onto Sky Movies recently. I saw that William H. Macy was in it, and that it was a "Hollywood satire", so that was interesting enough. It's not riotously funny, but it's far from bland - it was actually quite enjoyably silly. You're pulled along for the fun little ride, much like Macy's semi-suicidal filmmaker pulls Meg Ryan's stuck-up producer into his whirlwind world of blagging a way through. Worth a watch.
Red Heat:
I've always gotten Red Heat and Raw Deal mixed up until recently when they both turned up on ITV-4 ... note to them, by the way, stop showing 2.35:1 movies in cropped 16x9! Just stop it! ... and now I know how to distinguish them. Raw Deal is the cheesy, pretty rubbish load of old nonsense about an American cop (Arnie), and Red Heat is the arse-kicking proper action flick about a Russian cop (Arnie). While Raw Deal was an example of a movie being a bad representation of 80s action flicks, Red Heat is the exact opposite. Good action, good script, and good direction ... I do wonder why it's taken me all these years to finally get around to seeing it.
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Flavours of the Month: June 2010...
Continuing on from last month, my obsession with Prison Break Season One exploded and I'm now eager to see the remaining three seasons. Initially I was sceptical as it does take a good four or five episodes to get you into the groove of the show, but after that you're totally sucked in and fascinated by how every single problem that arises gets solved ... and the last two episodes are nothing but awesome.
I read Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, as I'm a big fan of the film adaptation, and naturally it was ruddy great, and then I simply had to watch the movie yet again - inspiring another mini-Cusack fest complimented by another viewing of Grosse Pointe Blank.
There's been a lot of script writing going on, what with Summer Road (comedy drama, now onto Draft 2.2) and Allen Bridge (drama mystery with a somewhat supernatural tint, now in the planning stages).
I also got the Season 1 through 3 box set of Robot Chicken, so it was nothing but that for a couple of weeks as I gorged myself on the extra features - and yes, season 4 is pre-ordered.
I finished Red Dead Redemption, which was a ruddy good game, and is Rockstar's best game to date, I'd have to say. You really care about John Marston and you end up caring about his family too, and what's more you really feel involved in the setting - that of the dying days of the wild west - and wow, the ending really packs a punch (just remember, the game ain't over till you've seen the credits roll). Speaking of the credits, the soundtrack to the game is tip-top, especially those two tracks on the credits which leave a memorable mark in the context of the ending.
As such, there has been a bit of a soundtrack festival on my CD changer - the soundtracks to Red Dead Redemption, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and The Road - two are westerns, two are by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, and all three are excellent.
Finally, a hot topic for discussion over on Homepage of the Dead at the moment is the forthcoming TV series The Walking Dead, and having never read the source material before, I've now gone and gotten myself into that. At the time of writing I've read Vol. 1 "Days Gone Bye", and I've just started Vol. 2 "Miles Behind Us".
...
And there we have it, a whole year's worth of Flavours of the Month - to see the first one, follow this link:
http://deadshed.blogspot.com/2009/07/flavours-of-month-junejuly-2009.html
I read Nick Hornby's High Fidelity, as I'm a big fan of the film adaptation, and naturally it was ruddy great, and then I simply had to watch the movie yet again - inspiring another mini-Cusack fest complimented by another viewing of Grosse Pointe Blank.
There's been a lot of script writing going on, what with Summer Road (comedy drama, now onto Draft 2.2) and Allen Bridge (drama mystery with a somewhat supernatural tint, now in the planning stages).
I also got the Season 1 through 3 box set of Robot Chicken, so it was nothing but that for a couple of weeks as I gorged myself on the extra features - and yes, season 4 is pre-ordered.
I finished Red Dead Redemption, which was a ruddy good game, and is Rockstar's best game to date, I'd have to say. You really care about John Marston and you end up caring about his family too, and what's more you really feel involved in the setting - that of the dying days of the wild west - and wow, the ending really packs a punch (just remember, the game ain't over till you've seen the credits roll). Speaking of the credits, the soundtrack to the game is tip-top, especially those two tracks on the credits which leave a memorable mark in the context of the ending.
As such, there has been a bit of a soundtrack festival on my CD changer - the soundtracks to Red Dead Redemption, The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford, and The Road - two are westerns, two are by Nick Cave and Warren Ellis, and all three are excellent.
Finally, a hot topic for discussion over on Homepage of the Dead at the moment is the forthcoming TV series The Walking Dead, and having never read the source material before, I've now gone and gotten myself into that. At the time of writing I've read Vol. 1 "Days Gone Bye", and I've just started Vol. 2 "Miles Behind Us".
...
And there we have it, a whole year's worth of Flavours of the Month - to see the first one, follow this link:
http://deadshed.blogspot.com/2009/07/flavours-of-month-junejuly-2009.html
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