Gamer...

Another week, another innuendo-laden trip to the cinema (you know what blokes are like) ... anyway...

Neveldine & Taylor are back already - we had the bloody good fun of Crank 2, which was an unstoppable orgy of sex, violence and crazed camerawork ... if there was ever a movie that snorted coke, Crank 2 was it.

Gamer, on the other hand, is by comparison relatively sedate. There's still oodles of crazed camerawork (especially during the opening battle scene - pay close attention for the all-too-brief "tea-bagging" gag), but the pace isn't quite as relentless.

It's nowhere near the sedate and considered pace of something like The Godfather Part II, goodness no, but it's certainly not Crank 2. It's not as fast, not as compelling, and not as out-right fun.

To be honest, they really should have upped the "gamer" aspect of it far more - that would have given it a really strong USP to play with, and situated it apart from other recent "bloodsport as entertainment in a distopian future" such as the pish remake of Death Race 2000 (known as just "Death Race").

We do get the odd gaming gag here and there, and a decent (but not deep enough) look at "Society", a perv-filled version of Second Life pretty much, but the main focus is the Call of Duty multiplayer-like "Slayers".

The plot doesn't feel as tightly pulled together as either of the Crank movies, nor is it as convincing throughout ... it's good fun, but it is ultimately lacking - I kept thinking, after having seen it in the cinema, 'if only they'd been more convicted to the videogame side of things'.

A lack of conviction to the end ... that's what Gamer feels like, as well as a movie born out of exhaustion from the Crank movies. While Crank 1 and 2 are the moment the drug hits your system, Gamer is about 10 minutes later when the buzz is beginning to fizzle out.

Michael C. Hall's billionaire bastard is typically venomous, but you feel he should have been far more outlandish - as a result, a particularly outlandish dance-off towards the end of the movie feels rather out-of-place. The 'resistance' - led by feckin' Ludacris of all people (seriously, fuck off Ludacris, you were pish in Max Payne, you were pish in this, and pish in something else I can't even remember the name of - get the hint and sod off away from the silver screen) - isn't a particularly threatening underground gang, and to cap it all off, our connection to the players themselves (such as the shiver-inducingly grotty tub-o-lard who leers around in "Society") isn't strong enough ... plus we don't get a good enough look into their side of the game, so-to-speak.

Perhaps I sound a bit down on this flick, but I guess after the sheer bloody good fun of Crank 2, I was expecting something similar from Neveldine & Taylor, or at least something with the same arrow-like commitment to an idea. Unfortunately I was let down in that respect, and was never gripped by what was on screen ... solid entertainment for a couple of hours, but only as sustaining as a couple of pints and a kebab.

I've seen many worse, but I've seen quite a few better. A "check-minus" ... could do better.

Crank 2...

The original Crank was a pretty crazy film with a fairly relentless pace - but Crank 2 is truly crazy, and truly relentless - it's almost exhausting ... almost. 90 minutes of pure, adrenaline-obsessed action fury - essentially, the most ideal flick for a bunch of lads to go and see at the cinema, which is exactly what I did with my mates, who all thoroughly enjoyed it.

What confused all of us though, were the procession of numpties who insisted on escaping the cinema as soon as the movie cut to the credits - despite a series of clips, which wrap up the plot to the whole movie, that sprung up within seconds. Why pay to see a movie and then deliberately walk out as the final moments are still playing - it's stupid - plus it's fucking annoying when some stupid bastards decide to then stop RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ROW WHERE WE'RE SITTING, thus blocking our view with their eager-to-sod-off bodies like the right mess of rude shits that they are.

Anyway - aye, it was a top flick and I'd rather fancy seeing a third - Crank 2 was at least equal to Crank, so hopefully that's a good omen for a Crank 3, which would make for a far better action franchise to Statham than the 'one was cool, two were shite' Transporter series.

Over-the-top barely describes Crank 2, but put simply - Crank 2 is like Crank, but it goes far further in all respects and is literally non-stop, full-on entertainment.