The Bikini Car Wash Company 2 (Gary Dean Orona, 1993) Review

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“Hasn't money always turned you on?” Despite having the character and plot depth of a puddle on a summer's day, 1992's The Bikini Car Wash Company – like a Playboy magazine without the articles – proved to be enough of a hit to deserve a sequel. But how do you expand upon such a meaty concept as bikini girls washing motor vehicles? With lingerie, that's how!...

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Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-rama 2 (Brinke Stevens, 2022) Review

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“It's nothing, just a little debauchery … in the bowling alley.” Belated sequels are always a tricky sell. Can you ever truly recapture the magic of the original movie(s), the texture and tone of the way they were shot, the time in which they were made, even the attitudes of the period? Do you risk trampling on the memory of what came before – just look at what happened with Indiana Jones, which (at the time of writing) is looking to be on-course for a disastrous reception to it's fifth entry (a belated-sequel of a belated-sequel). So, what about a raunchy horror-comedy from the heyday of the VHS rental era – what will a thirty-four year gap between films mean to the tale of a nefarious Imp trapped inside a bowling trophy?...

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Scare Package II: Rad Chad's Revenge (Various, 2022) Review

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“Time to die … again.” Following on from franchise creators Aaron B. Koontz and Cameron Burns' 2019 Shudder-exclusive comedy horror portmanteau flick Scare Package, it's time to strap-in for movie references galore, big splattery guffaws, and some twisted ideas turned on their severed head...

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Ghoulies II (Albert Brand, 1987) Review

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“Look out! The behemoth returns!” After the somewhat limited Ghoulies (1985), the ghastly little demonic hell spawn return, this time to wreak havoc at a full-blown carnival. Surely these devious teensy troublemakers will find something to do with all these guillotines, switchblades, and unoccupied toilet bowls lying around...

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Flavours of the Month: August 2019...

Deadly psychology, the end of an undead era, and micromanaging through a nuclear apocalypse are just some of what's been setting the tone of my August 2019...

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Flavours of the Month: November 2018...

Carpenter classics, ascending zombies, and the biggest videogame release of the year are just some of what's been setting the tone of my November 2018...

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Flavours of the Month: August 2018...

Complicated comics, all-out action in middle America, and an elf named Elfo are just a few examples of what's been setting the tone of my August 2018...

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Flavours of the Month: May 2018...

Bundles of Blu-Rays, aerial dog fights from a century ago, and FWOAN's first big screening have been setting the tone of my May 2018...

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Flavours of the Month: September 2017...

Seventies New York, difficult second album syndrome, and America's political underbelly - just a few of the things that have been setting the tone of my September 2017...

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Flavours of the Month: December 2016...

Next-Gen gaming, high definition bustin', keyboard tappity-tapping, Fight Club 2, and all things festive: some of what's been setting the tone of my December 2016...

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Flavours of the Month: March 2016...

Chainsaw-wielding maniacs, spooky goings-on, and a certain chap stranded on Mars...

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Stage 2 Edition: The Walking Dead 6x14 memes...

Find more Walking Dead memes here.

Click each image for FULL SIZE.

Click to Enlarge: They're all in there somewhere, keep grinding...

Click "READ MORE" below for the rest of this week's memes **EPISODE SPOILERS AHEAD**...

Sleaze Fiend Magazine Issue #2 now available!

The second issue of Sleaze Fiend Magazine (for which I'm one of the staff writers) is now available to buy!

From the deliciously dirty minds who bring you the Exploited Cinema podcast, Sleaze Fiend Magazine is all about exploitation cinema and is most definitely not for sensitive souls or the easily offended. However, if you dig grindhouse cinema, out-there entertainment, bizarre curiosities, and independent zines, then you'll want to check it out.

Click HERE for more info.

The Walking Dead: Season 2 & Bonus Memes...

Find more Walking Dead memes here.

Season 4 is nearly with us, so in the meantime I've been doing what a lot have been doing - having a TWD marathon of the first three seasons on DVD/BluRay boxset - and it's inspired a bundle of new memes.

N.B. Click on each image for their FULL SIZE.

Click to Enlarge: Dale's got experience.

Click to Enlarge: Victory will be Hershel's.

Click "READ MORE" below for a barn load of more memes...

Quadruple Bill Mini Musings: Carnies, Cinephiles, Adventure and Argento...

The Funhouse:
What's it about?
A group of teens go to the carnival on a double date and then dare each other to stay the night, but as they hide out inside the titular attraction, they witness the bloody results of the beast behind the Frankenstein's Monster mask getting out-of-hand. Will they get out alive?
Who would I recognise in it?
Elizabeth Berridge, Cooper Huckabee, Kevin Conway.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Impatient viewers might tire of the build-up (it's at least forty minutes before the first blood is shed), but those into a beautifully captured atmosphere will be very happy indeed. Tobe Hooper's ghoulish little 1981 horror flick is a visual treat and populated by hyperbole-spouting carnies - the sort of crazy-eyed fringe-elements he covered so well in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and Eaten Alive. Violence-wise it's pretty tame by today's standards (and yet this flick was at one point caught up in the Video Nasties scandal here in the UK), but blood and guts isn't the business that The Funhouse is in - this flick is more interested in the carnival atmosphere and that garish sense of fun mixed in with (sometimes cheesy) scares. In some ways it's dated, and despite some apparent behind-the-scenes troubles regarding how certain scenes were shot, Hooper's film is jolly good fun. As an aside, it's interesting to note that while it does play along with genre conventions, it also breaks them too - the "final girl" smokes pot and gets saucy with her fella. It's a big, hearty "BOO!" scare from a grease-painted freak with booze on his breath. Good.

Click "READ MORE" for Hugo, Sherlock Holmes 2, and Inferno...

Hextuple Bill Mini Musings: Killer, Bunny Boilers, Germs, and Moon Nazis...

Hatchet II:
What's it about?
Adam Green's sequel to his low budget slasher & gore splasher about a deformed maniac with a hatchet wound in his face slicing & dicing in the swamps of New Orleans.
Who would I recognise in it?
Danielle Harris, Tony Todd, Kane Hodder, R.A. Mihailoff, John Carl Buechler.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The first flick was, in many ways, almost unashamed in its pilfering of ideas from the Friday the 13th franchise. Fortunately this time it makes a modest move into its own territory (even if the foundations are based mostly on fanboy references to the 80s era of the horror genre). At a scant 82 minutes (with several minutes of credits), you'd assume that the pace would be swift, but the first half is mostly set-up for the back-half where a bunch of cannon fodder gets dispatched.

There's some inventive kills (pleasingly brought to life by practical means), and while half the script is underwhelming, the other half contains some enjoyable side characters and some cracking lines - there's promise amidst the mediocrity here, and at least it ends on a sly (and brutal) note, although one which is completely undercut by there being a third bite at the apple coming in 2013. That said, it appears that Caroline Williams, Derek Mears, and and Zach Galligan are in the cast, so the fanboys and fangirls out there will continue to be played to. Brutality wise, there's plenty of gore on offer, although I don't understand what all the fuss in America was about - it was released as an NC-17 and took a stand in doing so (for some daft reason, NC-17 is considered a filthy and disrespectful thing) and promptly did about sod-all at the box office. Here in the UK it was passed 18 uncut with no worries ... and still didn't do much business. There's some fun to be had here, but there's little else on offer than fanboy references to the genre's past, summing up a disappointing lack of ambition ... and the screaming nu-metal tosh on the credits is a total misjudgement. Alright.

Click "READ MORE" below for thoughts on bunny boilers, silent masterpieces, losers, coughs & sneezes, and moon Nazis...

Walking Dead gifs...

Rummaging through some files I stumbled upon these couple of animated gifs that I cobbled together a few months ago - I'd never created a gif before and fancied a stab at it, and yet for some reason I forgot about these, so I might as well share them here.

These two are from the The Walking Dead season two finale "Beside the Dying Fire".

The first one was supposed to be used as an avatar for forums and the like, and the second was my very first stab at creating an animated gif image. I was only using a relatively basic gif creator, and I couldn't really figure out how to get the perfect balance between smooth motion, image size, and the actual size of the file itself. Still though - worth sharing - I hope you enjoy them.

Walking Dead Debrief 3x02 "Sick"...

See the previous episode's debrief here.

See memes for this episode here.

WARNING: EPISODE 3x02 SPOILERS AHEAD!



WHAT WE LEARNED:
* Bear McCreary's music has taken a step up. It was always good, but the intense dramatic moments of these first two episodes have born witness to heart-pounding, driving pieces on the soundtrack.

* I forgot to mention last time, but the new opening sequence is great. Covering key images from the second season (such as the Cherokee Rose flower, Hershel's watch, the farmhouse and more), it looks forward to what's to come.

* T-Dog might have a bit of a naff weapon (a fire poker), but he sure knows how to wield it effectively.

* Hershel, in the intervening months, has taught Carol a thing or two about medicine.

* Rick's competitive side is unleashed. It's survival of the fittest now, and Rick is willing to stand his ground for the good of his group. He barters a trade with the five inmates - half their food in exchange for assisting them in clearing out another cellblock for them to live in separately.

Click "READ MORE" below to learn more...

The Walking Dead – Season 2 Deleted Scenes Review...

The DVD and Blu-Ray box sets for Season 2 of The Walking Dead are now available, and among the special features are a range of deleted scenes. The following is a review of those scenes, and naturally there are season two spoilers ahead.

“What Lies Ahead” (2x01)

The bulk of the cut scenes comes from the opening episode of the season, which was originally to be two episodes, but problems arose and Frank Darabont either walked or was pushed from the show during the editing process. The true story will never be known as to what went down, but anyway, on with the deleted scenes:

1)      It appears that a sequence is missing here showing Shane running away from a hoard of walkers as he desperately screams for attention and fires his shotgun (as glimpsed in the season two Comic-Con trailer). As evidenced from the conversation they have once Shane hops aboard the RV and they continue their escape, Shane's vehicle must have run out of fuel and he honked his horn to alert them. Then they come up with a plan to buy them some time – head to the Vatos' hideout at the old folk's home within the city.

2)      Our gang arrive at the Vatos' hideout, but discover a series of dead bodies outside being feasted upon by walkers – Rick says to hell with the noise and they gun down the zombies.

3)      They enter the building and discover yet more dead bodies. Sophia begins to cry and make too much noise, so Daryl tells her to shut up in no uncertain terms (before his character was softened as he became more involved with the group during the season).

4)      The men continue to sweep and clear the building upstairs. Bodies lie everywhere and there is an increasing sense of hopelessness. Meanwhile downstairs the others hide from a passing walker outside the now-barricaded front door, and when Sophia begins to panic Carl calms her down. It's a nice little beat for Carl, who is clearly coping with the situation far better than poor Sophia, and it's a nice juxtaposition to all the death and despair around them.

5)      In an excellent moment of foreshadowing, after they plan to stay the night in some of the upstairs rooms, Daryl points out (in a sneering spat with Andrea) that the people have all been executed before the zombies arrived – clearly there is now a human danger out there, somewhere, waiting for them.

6)      “Cough drops and bonzo beans” - the group, huddled in a small room, lay out their meagre supplies for Glenn to ration between them all. Shane makes friends with Daryl with a peace offering of a bottle of booze he pinched from the CDC. There's also an extra moment between Dale and Andrea – no doubt the first moment for the two of them to have a chance to debrief after he convinced her not to die in the CDC explosion – which adds a horrific reality check from Andrea. Furthermore Rick begins to blame himself for not following Shane's lead in heading to Fort Benning instead of the CDC, but Shane and Lori say he shouldn't blame himself. After Glenn makes a comment about their dire situation, the men exit to formulate a plan – to ditch some of the vehicles, siphon the fuel, and head for Fort Benning. Numerous small character beats here, as well as some exposition which covers a couple of minor plot holes – particularly explaining why their vehicle count is markedly different between the last shot of season one, and the opening montage of season two.

7)      Fast forwarding to the highway, Rick returns from his woodland encounter with walkers after Sophia ran off, and quickly discovers the girl didn't make it back.

8)      Carol stands alone by the roadside late at night looking into the woods.

Click "READ MORE" below for the rest of the deleted scenes in-review...

Triple Bill Mini Musings: Nightmares, Real & Imagined...

We Need To Talk About Kevin:
What's it about?
Lynne Ramsay's devestating drama based on the book by Lionel Shriver details the tormented life of a woman whose first-born, the eponymous Kevin, simply isn't right, and in the wake of a horrid tragedy she struggles to come-to-terms with what happened.
Who would I recognise in it?
Tilda Swinton, John C. Reiley, Ezra Miller.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Once considered "unfilmable", Ramsay does a stellar job of injecting an unhinged and fractured sense of craftsmanship as she manages to maintain control over a film which jumps forward and back through various points in time. Pertinent information is scattered throughout, at first with dark mysteries attached, and later on doused in chilling realisation. Ezra Miller (and his younger counter-parts) gives a powerful performance as Kevin, a true embodiment of evil, Tilda Swinton is nothing short of captivating as the tortured mother who is plagued by guilt, anger, frustration, and horror at having an extremely strained relationship with Kevin since his birth, and John C. Reiley provides a welcome counter-balance to the tension as the nigh-on-totally oblivious father. Presented with a memorable visual flair, it can be tough/draining viewing, but it is always a rewarding experience. Great.

Click "READ MORE" below for Poltergeist II, and Deranged...