Ilsa: The Wicked Warden (Jess Franco, 1977) Review

Find more exploitation movie reviews here.

“Her Prison was Hotter than Hell!” First there was Ilsa: She-Wolf of the SS, then there was Ilsa: Harem Keeper of the Oil Sheiks, and then came Ilsa: Tigress of Siberia – but when is an Ilsa movie not an Ilsa movie? When it's a Greta movie. Jess Franco (99 Women), the prolific master of Euro-sleaze, brought the world this unofficial Ilsa movie between the second and third instalments in the official series under the original German title of Greta: House Without Men. Indeed, in classic grindhouse fashion, this seedy little flick has numerous aliases, such as Ilsa: Absolute Power, Wanda The Wicked Warden, and Greta the Torturer (aka Mad Butcher, aka Sadist). It may have morphed into an apparent Ilsa movie after-the-fact in a canny advertising move, but it does cover similar ideas: a sex-mad wardress, despicable scenes of torture, the inevitable blood-crazed vengeance … just the kind of movie your Granny would love, surely?

Click “READ MORE” below to continue the review and see more screenshots…

Pentuple Bill Mini Musings: Aliens, Murder, and Business...

Apollo 18:
What's it about?
A 'found footage film' about a classified mission to the moon after the last official landing of Apollo 17 (hence the title), in which American astronauts are sent to apparently erect some sort of Russian missile detection system. However, amidst the craters on the surface, they discover the Russians have at some point landed on the moon and suffered a terrible fate. Better be careful which moon rocks you pick up then...
Who would I recognise in it?
No 'big names' here, but it was produced by Dimension Films and Timur Bekmambetov, and edited by Patrick "Drive Angry" Lussier.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
There's creepy crawly moon monsters out there in the cold silence of space, and while it's not an exceptional shocker, Apollo 18 does prove to be a pleasant surprise nonetheless. The claustrophobia of a lunar module or a space suit unsettles you from the back of your mind, while the isolation of the moon's surface creates genuine chills. There is a tendency towards LOUD NOISE jumps from time-to-time, but when you descend into a pitch black crater with nothing but a camera's flash for guidance, you know that sooner or later there's going to be an explosion of popcorn before your eyes. Stylistically the film is a real success, with contrast, colour, grain, and even aspect ratio and framing, all seamlessly matching the real-life NASA footage. What's less convincing is the inconsistent low gravity experienced by the two (out of three) astronauts who land on the moon - sure, this would have been a fairly low budget production, but to see them walk across the surface, rather than bounce like Neil Armstrong (may he rest in peace) and his moon walking brothers so memorably did, does strip away some of the believability, which is otherwise pretty strong. Atmospheric, chilling, and proving to be a rather enjoyable mixture of found footage frights with period-set Apollo moon missions, it's surprisingly good.

Click "READ MORE" below for corruption, assassinations, pool men, and Bowfinger...