Jason Goes To Hell (Adam Marcus, 1993) Review

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“I don't think so.” What does an audience want from a Friday the 13^th movie? Not too much, for we're not a particularly demanding bunch when it comes to the machete-wielding franchise – Jason Voorhees in his iconic hockey mask hacking up some campers with style and verve will do nicely, thank you: real meat and potatoes stuff. It shouldn't be difficult to not fuck that up, right? … Right?!...

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Texas Chainsaw: Mini Review...

What's it about?
A direct sequel to Tobe Hooper's legendary 1974 film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre in which, after Sally Hardesty's escape, the Sawyer family - including an extended rabble of misfits coming along for family support - are burned alive in their home. It's 1973 and there's only one survivor - a Sawyer family baby - who grows up forty years later to be in her early twenties. Seriously. Lack of respect for the audience's intelligence and the horror genre in general aside, young 'Heather' is surprised one day to learn that her grandmother - whom she never knew - has died and left her an inheritance in (where else) Newt, Texas - where all the chaos happened in 1973. She and her friends go to investigate - guess what happens next.
Who would I recognise in it?
Alexandra Daddario, Tania Raymonde, Gunnar Hansen, Bill Moseley, Marilyn Burns, Scott Eastwood, Richard Riehle.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Written by Adam Marcus (the writer/director of the initially intriguing but ultimately lamentable Jason Goes To Hell), the film starts off strong - the attention to detail in re-staging the post-massacre location from the original film is impressive - with a non-Leatherface cameo from original chainsaw-wielder Gunnar Hansen, and Bill 'Chop Top' Moseley playing Jim Siedow's part as Sawyer patriarch Drayton. However, the strange tone of the film - in which the monsters are unconvincingly cast as victims to be sympathised with - becomes evident early on. Moving forward to the present day - from 1973 to 2013 - comes the film's major F-You to the viewers. It's not explicitly stated that it is present day - but the up-to-date hip-hop, vehicles, and (most blatantly of all) smart phones - makes the space-time continuum-breaking 2013 setting undeniable. As previously stated, but repeated for emphasis - the infant survivor of the 1973 lynching grows up FORTY YEARS LATER to be in her early 20s, in the shape of Alexandra Daddario (True Detective, Burying The Ex)...

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