Pervert! (Jonathan Yudis, 2006) DVD Review...

Find more exploitation reviews here.

“I'm like a French bread – the longer I'm around, the harder I get.” In his heyday of the 1960s and 1970s, Russ Meyer was the king of the American sexploitation film. Voluptuous women bouncing and bonking around the desert, crazy characters chewing the scenery, and a scatter gun editing style that pre-dated music videos by many-a-year provided a heady mix for audiences. However, in the age of super fast broadband, such softcore silliness is positively tame – but Director Jonathan Yudis and Writer Mike Davis buck reality to combine their Meyer nostalgia, and fondness of the female form, for Pervert! – a whacked-out 'n saucy dose of jiggly boobs, dutch angles, and heat-driven madness...

Click “READ MORE” below to continue the review and see more screenshots…

Manborg (Steven Kostanski, 2011) DVD Review...

Find more DVD reviews here.

“Remember, it's not about the killing, it's about family.” Astron-6, the crazy VHS-loving movie making machines behind the Troma-tastic Father's Day and the much anticipated neo-giallo The Editor, have been cranking out bizarre shorts and features that appeal to the very best of 80s nostalgia for years. 'Lazer Ghosts' and 'Bio-Cops' are one thing, but then there's Manborg – a low-fi large scale action sci-fi chaos-mobile featuring Nazi demons, laser battles, and a home-made future dystopia...

Click “READ MORE” below to continue the review and see more screenshots…

Double Bill Mini Musings: Woods & Dogs...

The Cabin in the Woods:
What's it about?
Drew Goddard and Joss Whedon's love/hate letter to the horror genre was originally made in 2009, but due to MGM's financial troubles at the time, it was shelved until 2012 for release. Five good-looking college kids head off to the woods for a fun weekend, but where do a bunch of shady button-pushers in an underground bunker fit in?
Who would I recognise in it?
Chris Hemsworth, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, and ... well, that would be telling.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
It's hard to talk about this movie without spoiling it - but the trailer gives most of the game away as it is (although not the entire game, one should note). In a cabin rather reminiscent of that in Sam Raimi's seminal 1981 horror milestone The Evil Dead, there are all sorts of nasty surprises just waiting to be discovered.

Click "READ MORE" below to see if this flick's any cop, and whether the Straw Dogs remake has any teeth...

Triple Bill Mini Musings: Vamps, Apes, and Bombs...

Fright Night (2011):
What's it about?
Remake of the beloved 1980s horror comedy about nerdy teen Charley who discovers a vampire master named Jerry has moved in next door.
Who would I recognise in it?
Colin Farrell, David Tennant, Anton Yelchin, Imogen Poots, Toni Collette, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave Franco.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The original wasn't perfect, and I only saw it for the first time fairly recently, so I missed any 'formative years' or 'original 80s release' charm, however it was good fun. Similarly, the remake isn't perfect by any stretch of the imagination - the second act goes a bit listless, and the pacing is curious - however it remains a good slab of fun. Farrell and Tennant gleefully chew the scenery (the latter as theatrical magician Peter Vincent, updated from the original's horror film star and late night movie marathon host), and there are nice touches littered throughout (e.g. looking up how to pick a lock on the internet as you're doing it). Die hard fans of the original will no doubt feel this update's a bit redundant, and while it doesn't stray too far from the original's path, there are enough modernising tweaks to give it a pass in the end. Not brilliant, but not terrible either. Oh, and try not to enthusiastically tap your feet to "99 Problems" by Hugo during the end credits - I dare you. On the border between Good and Alright.

Click "READ MORE" below to go ape and order a pizza...

Triple Bill Mini Musings: Vamps, Drinks, and Shotguns...

Stakeland:
What's it about?
Treating the vampire curse as if it was a zombie apocalypse, mixed with John Hillcoat's bleak The Road, this meandering tale of 'Boy' and 'Mister' casts a stylishly dark shadow across a sub-genre that is more commonly seen as romantic, or laced with temptation, rather than cannibalism, religious cults, and a struggle for survival in a dying world.
Who would I recognise in it?
Erm ... oh yeah, Danielle Harris.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
The pacing isn't especially cinematic, as it feels more like a portion of an overall journey that we join for a little while, which can prove problematic in the second half when an ill-conceived 'big bad' is attempted to give the third act some sort of grand finale. However, turning a world in which vampires exist into a struggle for the very survival of humankind slaps a fresh lick of paint on proceedings that works quite well for the first half - but beyond that, the transient nature of the roughly-sketched supporting characters, and overall thrust of the plot can prove somewhat disappointing. Very stylish, oftentimes bleak, but quite distanced - however the overall impression remains positive. Good.

Click "READ MORE" below for thoughts on Arthur (the remake), and Get Carter (the original)...

All In The Game (Gary Ugarek, 2011) - Review

Gary Ugarek, who has previously given us indie zombie flicks Deadlands: The Rising, and Deadlands 2: Trapped, switches gears entirely with his third outing as Writer/Director/Producer: moving from the undead to the mean streets of Baltimore’s drug-pushing gangs. As a fan of HBO’s The Wire, Ugarek’s inspiration is clear, and indeed he pulls an Ace out of his sleeve by snagging members of that cast for this truly independent feature – where the extremely tight budget works triple overtime in delivering a sense of scale and scope that is usually missing from similarly low budget flicks.

Once upon a time in charm city, we’re introduced to our main cast: Vince (Chris Clanton), Ontario (Nelson Irizarry), Littles (Kelvin Page) and Lucky (a terrifyingly charming Micaiah Jones), and they’re all looking to climb the ladder. As the gritty narration informs us, you’ve got 5 to 8 years ‘in the game’ with many falling foul of the law sooner or later – it’s a tough business, but evidently in the toughest areas of Baltimore there’s little in the way of options. However all is not well in the present day, as Ontario mocks “I have a dream: money, ho’s, and clothes” – the young up-and-coming ‘welfare babies’ are in need of a reality check – they’re not invincible and they aren’t worth a damn if they’re not willing to push back against the tide.

 

Sick of getting screwed over when plying their criminal trade, Vince, Ontario, Littles, and Lucky hit the pavement to find out who is cramping their style and stealing their business. Working their way up the chain, we come to one of the high points for the film – a brutal interrogation of Raymond, a lowly money launderer, who lays out the list of guys who’ll soon be entering the crosshairs of our boys. Clouded by smoke, step forward Lucky (the scene-stealing Micaiah Jones), who makes exceptionally dark comedy from beating the truth out of rivals.

 

So begins an audacious and bloody ascent up the business ladder for these guys as they set their sights on the Caprisci crew, which feels like a meeting of worlds – The Wire versus The Sopranos. It is in these later stages of the film that we really get to see the fierce determination of Irizarry’s Ontario, the considered calculations of Clanton’s Vince, and the ever-ready eagerness of Page’s Littles … and of course, more of Lucky’s dangerous magnetism.

 

Being an indie production, naturally there are some technical issues – the audio needs work in places, and there’s a few rough edges and slow focus pulls here and there – but the ‘deep shadows and brilliant highlights’ look to the stark black & white cinematography (presented in 2.35:1) blends well with the chosen documentary aesthetic.

 

Bolstered by a hip hop soundtrack and an efficient running time (74 minutes, including credits), Ugarek’s latest outing proves to be a fresh change of direction that offers new opportunities both in the looks (thanks to Habib Awan and Seann Ikon) and the substance (thanks to a dramatic genre shift). There may be a few points in the script that don’t quite convince, but with a gritty and determined approach, and an arresting cast, fans of indie productions and The Wire should be well served here.

For more information, please visit the film's Facebook page.

Double Bill Mini Musings: Catching Up on 2011...

Red State:
I've been hearing about this movie for absolutely sodding ages - particularly as I'm a frequent and consistent listener to numerous podcasts featured on Kevin Smith's "SModcast Network" (and as such I was subject to a few spoilers over the last year-or-more). Indeed, I had got to the point that I was utterly sick of listening to yet another all-too-familiar 45 minute rant about the state of modern movie advertising, that I'd just switch off entirely ... needless to say I was damned ready to see the movie already.

I've also heard very mixed things about the flick - some love it, some hate it, and some whinge specifically about the ending for not 'going the whole Dogma hog' - but considering Red State is a realist horror film, such flights of fantasy wouldn't fit in too well with the overall tone, which feels terrifyingly close to reality at times.

Another thing that some haters of the flick didn't like was the constant shifting of tone, genre, and focus - which was very much intended by Smith - and I can understand how it could wrong-foot some, and how it can mean that some characters remain a bit underdeveloped over the extremely efficient 85 minute running time ... but nevertheless I really dug it.

I dug it so much in fact that I wanted to watch it again straight away - surely a very good sign (I had the same reaction to Clerks II, come to think of it) - although I'm specifically starving myself of it for a little while before I re-view it.

Ranging from teen sex comedy one minute, to Wrath-of-God preaching the next, to Waco-esque shoot-out after that, pretty much nobody in the cast is safe ... and boy, do some of them go in extremely chilling ways. Indeed, the fear is so palpable on many of the victim's faces that a chill genuinely tears up your spine and dances across the base of your neck; seeing one smut-talking teen reduced to a dribbling wreck pleading that he just wants his mother packed a surprising punch. The film's 'Five Point Chuch' - led by a Phelps-to-the-most-extreme patriarch - preach such seething hatred that it makes you sit most uncomfortably in your chair, all-the-more-so because Michael Parks' performance is simultaneously disarming and utterly enrapturing. Suffice to say the man owns the entire film, with a fantastic performance that turns what could have easily become a pantomime villain, into a remarkably fearsome fun-time fanatic. As he beams with joy at the Popeye impression of one his youngest followers, you can't help but grin from ear-to-ear, and therein lies the excellence of Parks' performance: he constantly disturbs your balance.

Moving on, this is most definitely unlike any other Kevin Smith film to date - returning to his Indie roots for the production and distribution (albeit with the connections and sway of a long-time player with a loyal, long-established fan base), Smith's film displays a sense of vibrant flair which he hadn't previously explored. Using the Red Camera system, the film takes on a rampaging sense of immediacy, while looking utterly gorgeous and endlessly crisp on Blu-Ray.

One problem though - and it's the extra features on the Blu-Ray - whoever encoded them did a piss poor job. Every single one of them is in letterbox (so the image is surrounded on all sides by black on a widescreen TV), and whatever settings were used for encoding have rendered the extras subject to an annoying amount of interlacing and even strange image ghosting at times. They're not unwatchable by any means, but considering the sheer high quality of the main feature's presentation, it's unfortunate that the extras haven't been given the same care when being ported over to the disc. I'm not sure if this is only a problem with the Region B disc or not.

Despite receiving a few spoilers along the way from numerous podcasts on Smith's network, there were still a few good shocks left in it for me. Furthermore, good lord, there are countless fantastic performances throughout. Great character actors of various levels of repute populate the cast so that it's fit-to-bursting - there's always somebody new to see, and another dark twist to be taken in the ever-changing plot. While there are occasional pacing issues (which could conceivably worsen if you're one who disagrees with the ever-shifting focus of the script), I really enjoyed the flick - it's ruddy good to finally see it, but in my view it's also Smith's most interesting film since Dogma and his most enjoyable since Clerks II.


Drive:
Nicolas Winding Refn (who has previously given us the stonkingly stylish Bronson) gives us the most stylish and achingly cool movie of 2011. Some didn't like it - no doubt because the title could prove a bit misleading (and the marketing sold it the wrong way) - it's not so much about driving, as it is the existentialism surrounding Ryan Gosling's grippingly-performed stuntman ... but I absolutely loved it.

The opening getaway car sequence (seen entirely from the passenger seat) is nail-bitingly, hold-your-breath tense, exhibiting the sort of patience, skill, and shark-like determination that sums up the character of Gosling's 'Driver'. A man who spends most of the movie not saying an awful lot - indeed, as was the aim of the filmmakers, he is akin to the lone wolf American hero who uses stoicism and skilled use of extreme violence to preserve innocence. Speaking of innocence, the focus of that is Carey Mulligan's mother Irene (whose jailbird husband gets the Driver into an awful lot of trouble with some gangsters and a bag full of money). The relationship between Gosling and Mulligan's characters is sweet and chaste - it truly is an examination of love as an innocent and precious thing, where entwined fingers on a gear stick, and one kiss before an eruption of shocking violence prove to be far more potent than getting your kit off and going all the way.

Speaking of violence, it's no Rambo, but on the other hand it does feature moments of stunningly graphic violence - no doubt because the beauty of the build-up is so involving. Finally, on the issue of style - this film has it in spades. From the titles in pink cursive, to the lush and twinkling neon of the streets at night (a highlight of the superbly composed cinematography), and to the exceedingly cool 1980s soundtrack, it's nothing short of breathtakingly beautiful. One part B-Movie with an A-Movie look, one part masterclass in cool, and one part thrill ride; if I had seen this in 2011 it would have most definitely been on my Top Ten list of that year.

Quadruple Bill Mini Musings: New Year, New Musings...

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011):
The uniquely talented and ever-reliable David Fincher sidesteps the 'English remake syndrome' with aplomb by delivering an equal to the original Swedish-language film in which Noomi Rapace so memorably portrayed Lisbeth Salander, the punk-with-a-photographic-memory. Complimenting the Swedish version, David Fincher's take provides us with two same-but-different looks at one international best selling book about a journalist's investigation into the decades-old unsolved case of the murder of a girl - a member of the wretched Vanger family (a self-involved, in-fighting lot, some of whom were members of the Nazi party).

Fincher's vision is a perfect match for the subject matter; his precise direction and particular style are as darkly intriguing as the content of the dense script. Many of the scenes are brief, but crammed with information. At two-and-a-half-hours it is surprisingly pacy, however there is one issue - Salander (Roony Mara) and Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) don't share enough screen time. In the Swedish original they felt like a real pairing, whereas here they feel like two able-minded independent bodies who sometimes check-in with each other. That said, Mara's Salander is every bit as spring-coiled as Rapace's famous rendition, and interestingly Craig's Blomkvist is a slightly different character here - in the Swedish version he felt very much like a rumpled journalist with a hardcore agenda that bordered on vengeance at times ... in this version he's much more understated and stoic.

Each film does many things the same, but they also do a number of things differently in different ways, and each includes or excludes certain elements more or less than their counterpart. I very much enjoyed the Swedish film, and I very much enjoyed this.


Young Frankenstein:
Now I know where the dramatic musical sting in that dramatic chipmunk YouTube video came from. A must-see Mel Brooks comedy that I've finally got around to seeing. Gene Wilder, Marty Feldman, Peter Boyle, and Teri Garr - among others - make up a brilliantly talented and hilarious cast. This comedic rendition of the classic Frankenstein tale (Wilder plays the titular mad doctor's grandson) is a genuine, honest-to-goodness, laugh riot.


Silent Night Deadly Night 2:
It was only a couple of weeks ago that I saw The 41 Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It - the worst movie I saw in the entirety of 2011, and one of the worst I've seen in my whole life ... and now I've already found a strong contender for the worst movie I'll see in all of 2012. The first Silent Night, Deadly Night was a decent slasher - very much cobbled together - but decent, sinister, slasher fun nonetheless. The same cannot be said of the sequel - in any way, shape or form - in fact it's downright criminal that the producers charged money for admittance to this rip-off. Out of the first 40 minutes of the movie, a good 30-or-more minutes is - I kid you not - a trimmed-down version of the best bits from the first movie, as recounted (poorly) by Billy's psych-ward-dwelling brother Ricky. Considering that the budget was a quarter of that of the original, it's hardly surprising a third of the sequel is the original, but still - come on!

The adult Ricky may have the physical presence to be a killer, but he sure doesn't have the acting chops ... oh dear, does he not have the acting chops (here at least). Mustache-twirling maniacal laughs, crazy eyes, and scene-chewingly-awful line delivery is the order of the day here (have a look for the "garbage day" sequence on YouTube - it's the best part of the whole flick). Dull, boring, flacid, half-arsed, useless, inept ... I could easily go on. I've seen some cheap sequels in my time, but this really takes the biscuit - I was genuinely shocked by the sheer brass neck displayed by the producers in the first clip-heavy 40 minutes. Once again it's not so bad it's good, it's just rubbish - but, perhaps masochistically, it's so bad that you can only understand by viewing it for yourself ... but I'd rather be on the Naughty List.


The Green Hornet:
I never got around to seeing this superhero flick in the cinema, but catching up to it on Sky Movies has been a real joy - it's actually a really fun time. Michel Gondry brings his skewed style to Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg's cheeky & breezy take on a long-standing, but not-so-well-known superhero. Rogen plays Britt Reid, the son of a now-deceased newspaper mogul, who teams up with Jay Chou's Kato - an engineering, martial arts, and coffee-making master - to take on the crime boss of Los Angeles (as played with relish, and suprisingly good comedic chops, by Christoph Waltz - who was fresh off Inglorious Basterds at the time).

The third quarter of the flick is a bit saggy, Cameron Diaz's Lenore Case is mostly dispensible, and there's never quite enough of Waltz's enjoyably off-kilter japes as villain Chudnofsky - however, for the bulk of the running time it's really good fun. What's more it features one of the coolest movie cars since The Tumbler in 2005's Batman Begins.

Stirling Castle - Scotland 2011...

I took some video and photographs at Stirling Castle when I was on holiday north-of-the-border a few months ago, and I've been meaning to cut together a little video using them. Well, in these dark days in the aftermath of the joyous celebrations of the festive season, I finally got around to it. Like Edinburgh Castle, Stirling Castle was one of the locations used to film the John Landis movie Burke & Hare.

The Thing (2011) - the spoiler-ific, twenty-point gripe-fest...

Alright, you can see my spoiler-free review HERE, but now it's time for the fanboy gloves to come off and take a closer look at this prequel/remake hybrid - beware: spoilers-galore ahead!

1) The inherent problem with prequels - especially when we damn-well-know it all went pear-shaped for the Norwegian Camp - is that there's no mystery for the fans of the franchise. Indeed, knowing the outcome, but not the specific details of how the horror unfolded at the Norwegian Camp is exactly why it's such a haunting part of John Carpenter's 1982 film.

2) Marco Beltrami's score feels disappointingly generic. He was never going to be able to match Ennio Morricone's excellent score for the 1982 film, but deary me, this score doesn't have anything about it.

3) John Carpenter's film has a large cast, just like this 2011 version, however the key difference is that the characters in the 1982 film were distinct despite their lightly drawn manner. The 1982 cast rehearsed together extensively, so a lot of the character work is unspoken ... meanwhile in the 2011 film they're just lightly drawn, and at times downright dull, uninspired, or out-right generic.

4) Early complaints about the film featuring a female character (Kate Lloyd) at the research station were idiotic. Not only were there women at these camps for decades prior to the 1980s, but so what if there's a female lead?

5) The first reveal of the spaceship within the ice is just as dull as our first venture inside it ... and you know what, the third act inside the spaceship is dull as ditchwater too.

6) The portions of the Norwegian Camp that we see (in a destroyed form) in JC's flick are pretty well recreated here. So kudos there.

7) The 'bad scientist'/'good scientist' schtick between Dr. Sander and Kate Lloyd is an eye-roller of a dynamic. It's cliched and you can see the third act face-off coming from a million miles away.

8) Prior to the film's release there was a preview scene - the one where Jameson stares at the ice block and one of the drunken Norwegians screams "boo!" at him from behind. Then the alien bursts out of the ice and shoots up through the roof - the scene was shite out-of-context and it's just as shite in-context. It doesn't make an awful lot of sense, and it just feels lazy.

9) The first kill - of Henrik - not only involves far too much squiggly-wiggly CGI, but it's far-too public (a common trend in this flick). There's zero stealth involved and then everyone of the surviving cast sees the monster with its own eyes. Premature, shall we say. In JC's flick the attacks themselves were rarely seen, and we only saw an attack when an infected victim was cornered and had no other choice but to 'go loud'. This increased the mystery and horror of who was infected and who wasn't. No such effort is made for the 2011 film.

10) The autopsy of the ice-block-creature is pretty good - Gillis & Woodruff Jr's practical work actually gets a proper airing (i.e. it's not replaced, or covered, by CGI). It's all nicely detailed (e.g. the translucent skin on Henrik's semi-absorbed face), but it lacks the ick-factor of Rob Bottin's masterful work, and Dean Cundey's slightly obscured photography, in the 1982 film.

11) The second attack (aboard the helicopter) - is yet again a case of CGI overload and lacking in stealth. What's more it doesn't make enough sense - the alien reveals itself once again, but in-so doing destroys itself, or does it? It's one of a few plot holes in the movie.

12) The discovery of the bloody fillings and shower is pretty cool, as-is the subsequent discovery that it's all been cleaned-up. However, Juliette transforming behind Kate, makes for yet another stealth-free, OTT-CGI sequence. Any tension or misdirection during this portion of the film was short-lived, to say the least.

13) Speaking more generally about the use of CGI, the designs are good, but the execution is poor. It's far too obvious and over-used, and what's more if you layer CGI over practical effects then you might as well have done the entire thing in CGI as none of it ends up looking practical. The same damn thing happened with Rick Baker's work on The Wolfman.

14) Too many scenes and plot points are all-too-familiar from Carpenter's film ... hence the ever-so-curious 'remake-that-isn't-a-remake-because-it's-a-prequel' vibe.

15) The initial creation of the two-faced creature - as so memorably seen (in a frozen state) in the 1982 film is pretty decent - but, yet again, the use of CGI covers any-and-all practical elements and spoils it. What's more, it's also a shame that they essentially turn this once-mysterious creation into a 'big scary chase monster' ... and, continuity wise, the body wasn't anywhere near-as burnt in the 1982 movie as it was here in the 2011 movie - especially on the split-face.

16) They claim to have paid close attention to what the Norwegians did in the 1982 movie, but where on earth is a sequence showing the team blowing up the ice to reveal the spaceship? Nowhere is where - instead, stupidly, the ship's engines appear to melt the ice and reveal it.

17) Which brings me onto this point - if the ship's engines were working, then why on earth did the alien ever leave the ship in the first place? Or does being frozen for 100,000 years repair broken engines? This is perhaps the largest plot hole of the entire movie and sums up the sloppiness of the entire third act.

18) As mentioned before, the third act face-off between Kate, Carter, and a 'thinged-up' Dr. Sander is dull, dull, dull. It's CGI overload time and as a sequence it lacks any suspense or thrills.

19) The confrontation, just before the end credits, between Kate and Carter doesn't make total sense. We see that he has an ear-ring in his left ear before entering the ship, then once they've dispatched Dr. Thing, she spots that he's missing the ear-ring and he checks the wrong ear ... so she burns him. Fair enough, but he seems to beg like a real human, never attacks her, and the look on her face seems to suggest that she's not entirely sure if he actually was infected ... or am I giving the film too much credit by thinking there was subtext somewhere in there? What's more - I wonder what happens to Kate Lloyd? Does she just decide to freeze-to-death and get covered in snow, so that the Outpost 31 crew can't see the two snow vehicles?

20) The sequence (during the end credits) that links the 2011 prequel to the 1982 original is the best part of the entire movie. It's a tad awkward that the dog - now an alien - remained totally hidden at the camp whilst the other alien(s) yomped around dumbly in the open, before escaping the camp in-full-view after the helicopter arrives. However, that awkward scripting aside, having Lars become the mad Norwegian with a rifle who gets gunned-down by Garry at the beginning of JC's flick is cool. The same helicopter and emulation of shots from the original gets all the right fan-senses tingling - but it's too little, too late. Weirdly, this sequence is the most prequel-like portion of the entire movie.

The Thing (Matthijs van Heijningen Jr, 2011) - spoiler-free review...

What with the festive season this one got kind of buried - so, better-late-than-never, have at it.

When I first heard rumours of a new version of The Thing (why on earth they couldn't call it, for example, 'The Thing: Outpost 30', or whatever number the Norwegian Camp was, is beyond me), I thought what most other fans must have thought - oh no, here comes another remake ... however, that's not the case, for the most part. When is a remake not a remake? When it's a prequel - a prequel that can't decide whether it's a prequel or a remake, that is.

Filling in the blanks of what happened at the Norwegian Camp, as visited by some of the members of Outpost 31 in John Carpenter's masterful sci-fi/horror/suspense flick from 1982, this 2011 remake-that-isn't-a-remake continually suffers from the one key problem that plagues almost all prequels - we already know the outcome.

Yes, those who haven't seen the superior 1982 film won't be so bothered about this, but on the other hand they won't get any of the nods and winks towards Carpenter's film - which really, when all is said and done, is the only real reason to bother watching this movie.

It's not all that bad, but it's not all that good either. Mary Elizabeth Winstead's Kate Lloyd (a Paleontologist) is whisked to Antarctica to help dig up something that has been found in the ice. Accompanied by box-ticking Americans (and a Brit, for some strange reason), she and the Norwegians venture inside the ice-bound alien spacecraft (which is sorely underwhelming on both visits during the movie) to have a look-see before dragging an occupied block of ice back to camp.

Then the obvious series of events happen - events that won't surprise anyone who has seen the 1982 film.

Prior to the release of the movie, after fan concerns about the use of CGI, there was a lot of championing of the practical effects used on this new one - this immediately got my suspicions on alert. Sure enough, while there are some practical effects on display (one example is an impressively detailed, but not Rob Bottin-level icky, autopsy sequence), the vast majority of effects are CGI ... and subtlety hasn't been employed - at all. Anything that was once practical and needed to move on-screen has been either entirely replaced by CGI creations, or has been so covered-up by layers of CG-tweakery, that it all just looks like it was never anything other than CGI ... i.e. the fan fears are most definitely founded regarding that aspect. It's most disappointing.

CGI aside, little attention has been paid to the methods of the titular nasty - in this 2011 version it doesn't give a stuff about being stealthy. No, what we have instead is a creature that's ever-so-ready to reveal itself (slowly, in leering close-up, so we can all examine how marvellous the pixels apparently are) and make a load of racket. Add in some plot holes, an iffy twist regarding "non-organic material", and a cast of characters that are more-often-than-not interchangeable or forgetable, and it all adds up to a bit "so what?" Now sure, non-English-speaking Lars (who becomes very important) and wild-eyed-and-beardy Jonas (who is annoyingly underused) stand-out, but it's not hard when the other characters make little impact. Juliette is dull, Dr. Sander is the cliched 'bad scientist' to Winstead's 'good scientist', Carter is no match whatsoever for 1982's MacReady, Colin is just a grumpy Brit, Peder doesn't do an awful lot, and Jameson (Mr. Eko from Lost) has three-fifths-of-bugger-all to do throughout ... and that's just the ones I know the names of.

It's a missed opportunity, but then again could it have ever been a truly worthwhile exercise? It does make complete career sense for Winstead to take this flick on (I respect and enjoy her work), but she's never used to her full potential here unfortunately. It's all a bit of a mostly-tension-free damp squib - not terrible, but not much cop either beyond a few fanboy nods and winks to tie it in with John Carpenter's far superior chiller. If you're going to watch The Thing - make it the 1982 version.

Favourite Films of 2011 (that I've seen):

There's inevitably a delay in seeing some movies, particularly when it comes to Awards Season (as such I was months late in seeing The King's Speech, and only just over the Christmas season have I caught up on Black Swan). Plus you might not always be able to get to the cinema - indeed there was a huge gap in my cinema-going after the forgettable Columbiana in the first half of September, that was only plugged in the last days of the year with the excellent Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.

Part of me decided that, in these more restrained times, I'd only go and see films I was much more certain would be worth the trip and the ever-increasing ticket costs ... but then there are other films that you are certain you'll be buying on DVD or Blu-Ray. Kevin Smith's Red State is a must-buy for me, so rather than spend several quid seeing it in the cinema (it was barely on the screens as it was) I can put that cash towards the home video release (which, now that I mention it, is in January). Also coming out in January will be Drive - another flick I'm rather switched-on by, so there's two examples of September 2011 releases that I won't see until January 2012.

Enough of that though - what flicks (that I actually saw in the cinema) tickled my fancy in 2011? In chronological order, my Top Ten of 2011 are:

1) The Fighter - Mark Wahlberg's restrained boxer is the perfect balance to Christian Bale's far-out, wide-eyed, character-of-characters in this true-life tale of a working class boxer rising to great heights before the chance slips through his fingers entirely. If it was between this and Rocky, I'd pick Rocky, but The Fighter is well worth seeing.

2) True Grit - the Coen Brothers give us a fresh telling of the source novel. Typically classy Direction, beautifully photographed, and brilliantly performed. An absolute must-watch.

3) Paul - Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kristen Wiig, a pot-smoking alien-on-the-run, and a whole host of modern comedy legends make Greg Mottola's fanboyishly fun sci-fi-action-road-movie-comedy a total blast.

4) Fast Five - surprisingly bloody good fun. I might even go so far as to say it's the best of the series. Big in every way, the action is thunderously entertaining, the vehicle sequences thrilling, and it was just such a fun ride. A little heart, a little humour, and Justin Lin's assured ability at crafting memorable action set pieces make this a damned good time.

5) X-Men: First Class - exhibiting smarts to equal its brawn, even underwhelming side characters can't affect the fascinating central battle between good and evil that birthed the Xavier/Magneto war of conflicting ideologies. Sweeping aside the action-heavy but ever-so-dimly-written-and-directed Last Stand, Matthew Vaugh's comic book fest proved to be the highlight of a heavy crop of comic book movies this year.

6) Captain America - putting characterisation ahead of blowing shit up, Joe Johnston's comic book adaptation proved to be a thoroughly entertaining ride that actually bothered to ascribe meaning to all the spectacle.

7) Hobo With A Shotgun - without a doubt my number one film of 2011. Jason Eisener's grindhouse throw-back is gleefully gruesome, utterly barmy, and lovingly crafted with a truly independent spirit and method. Rutger Hauer brings heart and even pathos to the titular avenging street-dweller, while everyone else brings grue, guns, and gurningly over-the-top performances. It was my most anticipated movie of the year, and the Blu-Ray release didn't let me down at all - bloody brilliant.

8) Rise of the Planet of the Apes - mixing smarts with blockbuster budgets seems to be becoming a common theme nowadays, and hip-hip-hooray for that. After last year's underwritten Iron Man 2, and three ever-diminishing and ever-dumber Transformers movies, the balance has been countered with films such as this. Trading on themes ever-present in the struggle for equal rights, the spectacular visuals were coupled with a meaningful script.

9) Super 8 - nostalgia, scope, heart, and thrills galore combined to form a nigh-on perfect sci-fi that harked back to the glory days of Steven Spielberg's milestone works such as E.T. and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. J.J. Abrams did a stellar job. The central child cast pull you in and feel real, joy isn't without pain or loss, and the jaw-dropping train crash compliments an accomplished sense of pacing.

10) Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol - deftly scripted and directed, nail-shreddingly tense action from Brad Bird as he makes his live-action debut. Mixing thrills with chuckles in all the right places, this is one of the best action thrillers I've seen in a long time.


The Technically-In, Technically-Out Mention (because I saw it on January 3rd 2012):

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (2011) - side-stepping the 'perfunctory pit' that so many English-language remakes fall into (Let Me In, please step forward), David Fincher brings his uniquely gifted talent to explore the ever-more-popular international phenomena that is the opening part of the 'Millennium Trilogy'. Fincher brings his remarkable sense of poise and precision to material that's already familiar to millions globally, but still manages to match the original Swedish film punch-for-punch.


Honourable Mentions:

Source Code - certain plot holes aside, Duncan Jones' follow-up to last year's impeccable Moon, is a breezy bit of sci-fi action that may sometimes stumble with logic, but nevertheless puts ideas ahead of fireballs.

Scream 4 - this third sequel rocked up a decade after the dreadful Scream 3 and actually had a little something to say. Most of the wit of the original had returned, and there were even a few good tricks pulled out of the bag. Perhaps it struck home more with those of a nostalgic disposition such as myself: I discovered the original flick during my formative years - initially loving it, then resenting it due to the torrent of tripe cash-ins that it unleashed, only to fall back in-love with it all over again after the horror genre regained its balls in the early 2000's.

The Inbetweeners Movie - the little Brit-flick that could. More like a long episode that doesn't always fire on all cylinders, but for any fan of the cringe-inducingly-good show on E4 must have been happy with this. If you're in-on-the-whole-thing it's great fun, but if you're decidedly on-the-outside-looking-in, you might think otherwise. Personally I'm on the inside having a great old time.

Do note that I usually come to less-mainstream fare after their release year, either through Sky Movies, Film4, the Horror Channel, or DVD/Blu-Ray.

Flavours of the Month: December 2011...

LOOKS:

Glove And Boots - a new favourite YouTube channel of mine, I discovered it via their video "The Walkie Talkie Dead". If you like puppets, you're going to love Mario, Fafa, and Gorilla. Fantastically funny stuff!

Carnivale - I finished up the second season this month on Sky Atlantic and well, they certainly cancelled it back in 2005 on a bit of a cliffhanger, didn't they? I preferred the first season, especially as the second seemed to get a bit too lost and a bit too plodding at times ... and you can't beat that first season closer.

Ross Kemp On Afghanistan - a new run of the hard-hitting documentary on Sky 1. Illuminating, fascinating, chilling.

Black Mirror - from the mind of Charlie Brooker (which says a lot already), comes this trio of darkly twisted tales. The first episode was perhaps the most caustic, bleak, and ultimately haunting dose of satire I've seen in a long old while (perhaps ever). The second episode was overlong and lacked focus, but there were impressive ideas, and a strong cast. The third episode picked things up again by taking a brilliant little sci-fi 'what if' idea and spun it against the backdrop of a classic plot about adultery.

Charlie Boorman: Extreme Frontiers Canada - for a very long time now I've had this fascination with Canada (indeed I one day hope to visit the country), and being a fan of all the sorts of journeys that Boorman has undertaken over the years, I quite enjoyed this four-part series on Channel 5 ... but it would be nice if they put an extended version out on DVD.

Boardwalk Empire Season 2 - this richly detailed, masterfully written, deeply considered series is one of the best shows on television. The second season ramped up the complex motivations, suspicions, and double-dealings of all the well drawn and perfectly performed characters, and bloody hell - don't worry, no spoilers - the season finale is not only a brave move, but one that literally dropped my jaw and made me sit bolt upright in shock. I eagerly await the third season of this utterly engrossing drama - and if you haven't checked it out, then for goodness sake get yourself in on it.

Prometheus - the teaser trailer finally appeared and oh, the intrigue of it all. This is my most anticipated movie of 2012, with The Dark Knight Rises coming in second, and The Avengers in third on the anticipation scales.

Super 8 (Blu-Ray) - I loved it when I saw it in the cinema, and a second viewing confirms my love for this wonderful film. It's got real heart, real spectacle, a great range of adult and child characters, and well, it's just so damned nifty.

SOUNDS:

M83 "Hurry Up, We're Dreaming" - sometimes you need the right time to listen to an album properly, especially a double album, and I finally got a chance to return to this great record that I've not been able to listen to enough for my liking. Top stuff.

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross ft. Karen O "Immigrant Song" - a driving, pulsing, thumping cover of Led Zeppelin's track, as featured in David Fincher's version of The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo. This track provided the backdrop for the superb teaser trailer.

Saints Row The Third - numerous tracks, but particularly "Pepper" by Butthole Surfers, "Angry Elephants" by Junkie XL and "Slow Revolution" by Tugboat.

Prometheus - the music from the trailer ... ooh, it's spine-tingling. That aural call-back to the trailer for the very first Alien movie just makes the hair on the back of my neck stand on end in an instant.

Dick Figures "Bath Rhymes (Instrumental)" - from the excellent YouTube cartoon series "Dick Figures".

Alice Cooper "Spark In The Dark: The Best Of" - nearly two-and-a-half hours of excellence.

VIBES & FLAVOURS:

Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky - after weeks of pouring through this deep, dense, dramatic novel, I finally got it finished. It was a demanding read at times - for good reasons and bad at different times - and despite some sections around the middle where it seems to get a bit lost and lumpen in its storytelling, once we arrive at Polis the pace picks right back up again. Fascinating, extremely detailed, and very atmospheric.

The Festive Season - Christmas adverts on the telly (including that old one from Coca Cola that everyone of my age loves and considers the kick-off for the season once they've seen it), mince pies fresh from the oven, decorations, wrapping (with a nifty little tip I learned from James May's Man Lab Christmas Special on BBC2), and all the assorted festivities. 2011 has been a bit of a rough year - indeed at times it's been utterly awful - but then again there were good times and productive times, so it wasn't a total write-off ... but I do hope 2012 proves to be far better than 2011 was.

Dirt 3 - nabbed it on sale. The first non-shooty-or-sandboxy game I've bought for four ruddy years; I'm gradually getting the hang of this spiffing rally racer which features an entertaining Gymkhana section.

Ross Kemp On Afghanistan - I was given this book for Christmas two years ago, and I never got around to it until now. Fresh from the latest series on Sky1, and in search of (relatively) lighter reading after the demanding-yet-involving Metro 2033, I ploughed through this. Like the series its connected to, it proved to be a fascinating, illuminating, and at times sombre read. It really makes you better appreciate - from the comfort of your living room, admittedly - what the soldiers fighting on our behalf go through.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 - one of my presents this year. I've only done the first act of the story mode, but so far it's rather enjoyable. Nothing that changes the formula, but it's good to return to this particular story arc. More on it in next month's Flavours of the Month.

Until then - I hope you've all had a spiffing holiday season, and here's to 2012!

Triple Bill Mini (and Cine) Musings: Last of 2011...

Megamind:
Similar to Despicable Me (which was quite enjoyable), Megamind centres around a villain who has to discover the good inside him to win the day. Featuring a great cast of voices (Will Ferrel, Brad Pitt, Tina Fey, David Cross, Jonah Hill, J.K. Simmons etc) it's a good, fun time. Naturally it doesn't have quite the same 'pull you in' factor of a Pixar movie (although I've little interest in seeing this year's Cars 2, which seemed to receive luke-warm feedback), but Dreamworks did a ruddy good job nonetheless.


The 41 Year-Old Virgin Who Knocked Up Sarah Marshall and Felt Superbad About It:
Without a doubt, this 'spoof' of Judd Apatow comedies is the worst film I've seen all year. If you thought all those mind-bendingly awful 'Date Movie/Disaster Movie/Meet The Spartans' cinematic abortions were bad, then - amazingly - this load of old shite from 2010 is even worse. The sheer lack of any skill at comedy, as well as screenwriting, pacing, and narrative cohesion, is astonishing. Actual jokes are non-existent - in their place you instead get dreadful, shoe-horned-in moments of randomness that makes Disaster Movie look like a well-structured and thought-provoking drama, and such flatly redundant dialogue that you wonder how on earth anyone convinced the money men to pay for this utter drivel. It's incredible - nay, insulting (to all filmmakers and to all film lovers) - that this laugh-free, talentless, ham-fisted, completely misjudged rip-off, was ever produced in the first place. This shamefully inept and pathetic effort should hang like a skunk-sprayed albatross around the neck of anyone involved. Before you say it though, this is absolutely not a case of 'so bad it's good' - no, it genuinely is just trash with zero value whatsoever. It's an insult to mankind that this crap exists at all.


Mission: Impossible 4 - Ghost Protocol:
Brad Bird's live-action debut is a scorcher. This third sequel in the 15-year-running franchise is in no way at all the runt of the litter - it's a tip-top, nail-assaulting chair-grabber of a thrill ride.

No sooner has the Paramount logo been-and-gone than we're launched into the action at break-neck speed. From the very get-go the mission statement is clear: Ghost Protocol is here to kick arse - and kick it well. After a daring, action-crammed escape from a Russian prison, the IMF team find themselves on the receiving end of the titular protocol after the Kremlin is bombed and they're framed for it. Their mission, should they choose to accept it, is to catch the men responsible and clear their name in the process.

I'd have to watch the third film again to just be sure, but I think I can pretty safely say this is the best Mission Impossible since Brian DePalma's franchise-opening entry in 1996. Bird's direction is deft and works very well indeed with a script that perfectly balances nail-biting tension, adrenaline-drenched action, and sigh-of-relief-inducing smiles. Joining Cruise this time around are Jeremy Renner, Paula Patton, and Simon Pegg (returning as Benji from MI:III, who is now a field agent) - and they gel together perfectly. Everyone gets their chance to kick arse, induce a few chuckles, and even generate a moment of regretful pause and introspection.

The first half is perhaps better than the second, but not by much - indeed it's such a breathless, well-balanced, breezily-paced, entertaining thrill ride that there were audible sighs of relief whenever the tension was expertly popped during some of the most tense sequences - such as a vertigo-inducing climb for Cruise's Ethan Hunt up the tallest building in the world (all-the-more impressive because it wasn't done using green screen - no, Tom Cruise really was hanging from a wire 130 storeys up) ... that sequence alone made the palms of my tightly-clasped hands sweat.

Simply a brilliant action movie spectacle - the ideal mix of brains and brawn.

More Brains! A Return to the Living Dead - The Definitive Return of the Living Dead Documentary (Bill Philputt, 2011)

Dan O'Bannon's 1980s horror comedy The Return of the Living Dead is a hell of a fun ride. So resilient is it, and important to the pop culture of zombies, that the standard go-to rendition of a zombie (e.g. as represented in The Simpson's) is that of lurching, half-rotted, risen-freshly-from-the-grave monsters who scream out for "braaaiiins". Featuring a punk rock soundtrack and a fresh, young cast (adorned in various counter-culture outfits), Return of the Living Dead mixed grisly practical gore effects with sly humour - but, crucially, the jokes never came at the expense of the ensuing chaos.

While the sequels haven't exactly proved to be legendary, the original has really stuck around as a fan favourite. Part 2 over-egged the comedy at the expense of the horror with a weak script (although it did do well in that it brought back Thom Matthews and James Karen, and had some pretty nifty special effects at times). Part 3 - under the direction of splatter-meister Brian Yuzna - re-upped the horror quotient and made for a fun time. Then, unfortunately, came the exceptionally ill-judged fourth and fifth instalments (Necropolis, and Rave To The Grave) ... the less said about those, the better.

 

Now more than a quarter-of-a-century old, the original Return of the Living Dead has warranted a full-on documentary from Michael Perez Entertainment - who have previously presented us with a doc on the A Nightmare On Elm Street series titled Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy (although, personally, I'm yet to see that one). Make no mistake, if you're a fan of this movie, then More Brains: A Return to the Living Dead, is an absolute must-own.

Bringing in all the surviving key players from the cast and crew, the doc meticulously pours over every facet of the production from concept to production, and ultimately exhibition. The interviews are frank, honest, and at times hilarious - more of which can be garnered from a series of deleted scenes (one of which is an eyebrow-raising tale of visiting real-life crematoriums), and a credit-roll gag reel - suffice to say, everything you would want to know about the movie is here.

What's more, this is no cheap production, corners haven't been cut or anything rushed. The presentation, from Carl Ramsey's cover art to the interviews themselves (featuring lovely background set design), is done with care and a great deal of attention, making this as equally visually impressive as it is illuminating. However, it's not all talking heads - behind-the-scenes video (captured in the days long before DVD, when such footage was rarely shot or preserved) crops up throughout, as well as hundreds of photographs revealing all from between-takes moments, to concept art, and the development of the special effects.

As if the main documentary, which runs for two whole hours, wasn't enough, we fans are treated to a further two hours of extra features. 50 minutes alone is dedicated to parts two and three, pulling in various members of the cast and crew from the respective productions, before we even get to the rest. Deleted scenes, a location tour, music video, trailers, 'ROTLD in 3 Minutes', and most poignantly of all - an in-depth on-camera interview with Writer/Director Dan O'Bannon, who sadly passed away in 2009.

If you haven't been convinced already then check out the trailer - otherwise, what the hell's wrong with you? If you're into this 80s horror black comedy fan favourite then you'll simply have to buy a copy - without a shadow of a doubt, it's well worth your time and money.

For more information, please visit - www.getmorebrains.com

Quadruple Bill Mini Musings: December 2011...

Little Fockers:
With some of the cast having almost all of their scenes completely away from the actors, the dynamic that worked quite well in the previous film (Meet The Fockers) is mostly lost. It's no thinker by any stretch of the imagination, with some rather basic plot progression and even dunderheaded moments of character development/comedy ... it's all a bit underwhelming. There are some chuckles to be had for those familiar with the series, but if they plan on doing a fourth flick they'd better buck up their ideas after this.


Black Swan:
Darren Aronofsky's warped ballet flick is a wonderful mix of his over-the-shoulder style with the more strained psychological moments of films like Dario Argento's career-defining Suspiria, and David Cronenberg's entries into his own sub-category of 'body horror'. It wisely doesn't become ponderous and instead gets on with following Natalie Portman doing her absolute best to bring her ballerina crashing down into a pit of paranoia and perversion.


The Horseman:
This Australian indie horror makes for assuredly grim viewing, but intriguingly many of the worst moments of violence are left off-screen. More often than not we're witnesses to the brutal beginnings and creepy closings of violent sequences - it's a nice stylistic twist in this dark tale of a father who seeks to track down every last man who was involved in the porno production that preceded his daughter's untimely death. Disturbing and tense, but also shot with confidence, it makes for good genre viewing ... mind you, you might not be rushing back to see it any time too soon.


Dark Floors:
Otherwise known as 'The Lordi Movie' (aye, the horror rockers who are most widely known among the general populace for winning Eurovision a few years back), this is a turgid load of old cobblers. Missing the 'so bad it's good' mark by a country mile, it's just bad. The script is dull, the dialogue is cliched and boring, the plot makes absolutely no sense, there's a total lack of tension or suspense, and the inclusions of members of Lordi prove to be perfunctory and uninspired. For a flick as short as this, it doesn't half drag ... a bunch of people you don't give a stuff about randomly end up in some sort of hospital-bound hell, and all they do is traipse around all-too familiar corridors, briefly meet a member of Lordi, then run down to the next level to repeat the whole tedious exercise all over again. Unless you're a hardcore Lordi fan, don't even bother.

Triple Bill Mini Musings: December 2011...

The Invisible Man Returns:
The sequel to James Whale's wonderfully dark, inventive, comedic, and sinister film doesn't share the same sense of style or horror perpetrated by Claude Rains' see-through scientist-turned-psycho. Here we find Geoffrey Radcliffe (Vincent Price) wrongly convicted for murder - and about to swing for it - escaping from prison with the help of Dr. Frank Griffin (the brother of Rains' scientist), and his imperfect scientific discovery, to which the antidote must be found post-haste. There's a knowing sense of humour, and some inventive special effects (continuing what was established before, but never really topping them), and the obligatory nostalgia factor - these classic horrors of the 1930s and 1940s are the early roots (but not the starting seeds) of the horror genre we all know and love today - but I think I'll stick with the first film.


Morning Glory:
Rachel McAdams is a struggling TV exec who scores a job running Daybreak - a dead-end morning show - and it's her job to turn the ratings around lest the show be cancelled and replaced by soap opera and gameshow re-runs. It's a breezy and frothy comedy of little consequence when all is said and done - Patrick Wilson's love interest is a thankless, throwaway part (although it's interesting that the gender roles are reversed in this instance), for example - but Harrison Ford plays to his strengths as a grizzled and grumpy 'real news man' drafted in as co-anchor due to his contract. He drinks, he mumbles, he has spats with Diane Keaton's female co-anchor, and it all works out how you'd imagine from the start. Easy chuckles and the warmth of the cosily familiar replace any potential caustic satire or drama that could have been wrung out of the premise, but it's a movie that's easy-to-enjoy, un-demanding, and of the comfort food variety.


Middle Men:
Luke Wilson is a problem solver - he fixes businesses - and he finds himself caught up in the world of being a pornography middle man, helping run 24/7 Billing, the company that invented the world of paying for porn on the internet. "Inspired by a true story" goes the opening title card, although how much of this crime comedy/drama is true and how much is false, who knows - although murder, a Russian gangster, and some sloppy records keeping seem like they could easily be both. It starts off with a strange mix of world-weary comedy and depressed hindsight, and continues on a slightly uneasy path between the humorously overt (Giovanni Ribisi's wide-eyed, coke-snorting, paranoid ideas man) and the thoughtfully introvert (Wilson's marital and moral problems). It's an interesting flick - if you like stories of suddenly gained vast wealth and all that goes with it, then you'll no doubt get a kick out of this (albeit not-too long-lasting) - and it certainly kicks off with a fast-paced, info-overload bang ... if you like the sound of it, why not give it a spin?

Flavours of the Month: November 2011...

LOOKS:

The Walking Dead (Season 2, Part 1) - the best thing to happen to zombies since Romero's Day of the Dead in 1985, AMC's superb zombie drama (adapted from Robert Kirkman's deliciously dark comics series) continues apace despite the odd spell of behind-the-scenes trouble. The first half of the season has come to an end (the remaining six episodes will begin airing in February 2012), and it's been an excellent run of episodes. One thing though - bloody spoilers - some out there in the world of the interwebs have been annoyingly loose-lipped at times, and for us Brits that's been quite frustrating (we see the episodes five days after they air in America). Indeed one of the biggest shocks of the season was completely spoiled for me. Despite the minefield of spoilers though, many twists and turns were left un-spoiled, and it has been a very satisfying series of episodes. Now the desperate fanboy wait for February begins...

SOUNDS:

David Lynch - he recently released an album titled Crazy Clown Time, and while a number of the tracks weren't to my liking, several were: "Pinky's Dream", "So Glad", "Noah's Ark", "Football Game", "The Night Bell With Lightning", and "These Are My Friends".

Julee Cruise "Nightingale"

God Is An Astronaut "Forever Lost"

Alice Cooper - I've respected his music and dabbled in it for quite a while now, but after seeing his 2011 Halloween concert on Sky Arts, I've been seeking out some of his albums at long, long last.

Blink182 "Neighborhoods" - their new album takes me back to my formative years when "Take Off Your Pants And Jacket" was practically on an endless loop at the Sixth Form.

Daft Punk "Tron Legacy Reconfigured" - a number of the tracks are utter tosh (a lazy, generic, ill-fitting dance beat that occasionally halts to drop a bit of the original track to quality for the compilation), but others are terrific remixes: "Derezzed" by The Glitch Mob, "Fall" by M83 & Big Black Delta, "The Son Of Flynn" by Moby, "Encom Part 2" by Com Truise, "End Of Line" by Photek, and "End Of Line" by Tame Impala are the stand-outs for me.

VIBES & FLAVOURS:

The Walking Dead Vol. 7 & 8 - I'm forever trying to catch up with the comics, and this is as far as I've got so far. No spoilers for those who haven't got to this point, but bloody nora is volume 8 a memorable one!

Illness - this autumn/winter season I've had this bizarre muscular/nervous flu which roams around various parts of the body. Aches, pains, headaches, exhaustion, stiff joints, sharp pains - and all on a constant rotation around my body for at least a couple of weeks. Fortunately it seems to have all gone, but what a weird one.

Homefront - it's not the most polished example of an FPS out there, and the ludicrously short single player campaign (3.5 hours from start-to-ruddy-finish!) has a few stumbles and design faults, but the central conceit of a Unified Korea occupying America in a bleak near-future is still quite interesting. Hopefully Crytek will fully crack it for the apparent sequel that they're working on.

Metro 2033 by Dmitry Glukhovsky - so far I'm half way through this very dense piece of horror fiction set in the unforgiving Russian subway system in a post-apocalyptic world. At times it's a little too slow paced, and the author's style isn't particularly fond of paragraph breaks, but the world of the Metro is vividly depicted with a complete overview of the socio-political situation down there in the dark, danger-infested tunnels.

Saints Row The Third - while Crib customisation has all-but been removed in favour of new features, this third entry in the once sub-GTA franchise is easily the best of the three. The sloppy coding, gameplay, and balancing of Saints Row 2 are gone (mercifully), and in their place is a very solid and very enjoyable game. I've only encountered a couple of small glitches along the way such as the odd texture issue, no max-speed sound effect for any of the vehicles, or the odd roadblock on the occasional mission - but the latter have easily been remedied by starting again from the most recent checkpoint. I'm about 3/4 of the way through at the moment and it's pretty much a vast improvement across the board - the plot is tighter and actually interesting this time (if not particularly meaningful - but that wouldn't fit in anyway), the gameplay is tight and enjoyable, the in-game cell phone is perfectly formed for handling all your upgrade, mission, map, contact, and monetary needs, and the high level of utter daftness is most welcome. Professor Ghenki's Super Ethical Reality Climax (one of the many activities you can take part in) is a particularly good example of the sort of barmy fun you can have with this game. Well worth your time and money!

Pentuple Bill Mini Musings: November 2011...

The Exterminator:
This 1980s exploitation action flick got somewhat caught up in the 'video nasties' era here in the UK, but save for a few violent moments (such as a tremendous decapitation in the action-packed, explosions-galore opening five minutes) there's not an awful lot here to get your knickers in a twist about.

A Vietnam veteran takes to the meanstreets of New York City to sweep away the scum - the gang members, the pimps, the abusers, and so forth - in revenge for the terrible fate that befalls his good friend. After an impressively realised and explosive Nam-set opener, the movie quickly falters - the pace is all over the shop, the plot has an inconsistent focus, and the side characters are loosely considered. There are numerous great ideas littered throughout this revenge flick, including a vaguely explored governmental conspiracy, that could have (and should have) added up to a much tighter and more entertaining action picture - but alas it's not to be, especially with an underwhelming denouement that fails to provide a knock-out punch (let alone utilise the impressive arsenal that two main characters are seen packing).

Great ideas and great moments are lost in a disappointing murk. If you're into this kind of movie it's worth a watch, but unless it specifically hooks you, it'll mostly fade into the ether of your memory.


Mr Blandings Builds His Dream House:
As a kid I was a big fan of the Tom Hanks comedy The Money Pit (and I still am to this day) - and it was this Cary Grant-starring comedy that provided the foundations for it. Grant plays an Ad Executive in 1948 New York who dreams of a family home in rural Conneticut and, like an episode of Grand Designs, his dream project soon takes on a life of its own. The budget spirals, problems galore arise during the build, and it all becomes a bit of a stress. Naturally I prefer The Money Pit - as it's been a part of film-viewing life for as long as I can remember - but it was good to see this. The pace might be a bit sedate, and the comedy a touch on the soft-delivery side of things, but it was good fun nonetheless.


Island of Death:
One of the lesser known (yet still notorious) 'Video Nasties', Island of Death is a Biblically immoral tale of an incestuous couple spreading their wrath throughout the Greek island of Mykonos. Goats, amorous Frenchmen, homosexuals, randy old spinsters, the most pointless policeman on the planet, and anyone else going feel the wrath of this pair of misfits whose motives are - at best - foggy. The love-it-or-hate-it soundtrack works jarringly against-the-grain of the on-screen sadism, and it lacks any real sense of propulsion or purpose, but if you're fascinated by the era of the video nasty, then it's worth a look ... mind you, I'm quite glad I saw it on the Horror Channel instead of spending any money on it. To me at least, it's a one-watch-pony.


The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou:
As I've said before, over the last year I've suddenly gotten into Wes Anderson's brand of quirky ensemble comedies. Fantastic Mr. Fox, Rushmore, The Royal Tennenbaums, The Darjeeling Limited, and now this - a similarly inimitable telling of Bill Murry's titular sea explorer who discovers he has an adult son just as he's about to set off on a voyage to track down the apparent Jaguar Shark that ate his best friend and collegue. It's exactly what I'd expect from a Wes Anderson film, although out of the aforementioned movies of his that I have seen, this would be at the bottom of the list for me personally - but that said, the bottom of this list is still quite high up in general.


Identity:
A cast full of names - including John Cusack (so as I continue to maintain, it's already worth watching simply for that fact) - populate this very effective, and incredibly fast paced mystery thriller. A series of people find themselves all trapped at a Motel in the midst of a torrential storm, and they're getting picked off one-by-one by an unseen killer. The reveal becomes apparent before its time and should have been hidden better for longer, but regardless, it's a stylish, efficient and very worthwhile thriller delivered by a talented cast and crew. It's one of those flicks I meant to see when it first came out in 2003, but for whatever reason I never got around to it - well I'm glad I finally did, because it's damn well worth a watch.

Flavours of the Month: October 2011...

LOOKS:

Boardwalk Empire Season 2 - the return of HBO's critically and commercially successful period drama is most welcome.

An Idiot Abroad 2 - Karl Pilkington's jetting off around the world again, this time moaning his way through a bucket list. At times cringe-inducing, at others utterly hilarious.

Family Guy and American Dad on BBC Three - repeats galore, but I've often found myself switching over after eleven to catch back-to-back double bills.

The Big Bang Theory on E4 - now that Friends has moved to Comedy Central, E4 have been pushing new shows, as well as existing ones on their roster. It seems that The Big Bang Theory is their new big name, and I've found myself routinely catching the re-run double bills after midnight. I've been watching the show for a few years now, but this is the first time I'm going back over old episodes of this excellent sitcom.

The Walking Dead Season 2 - months of waiting, filled with fanboy speculation and fevered forum banter, have all led up to this point; the return of AMC's superior undead drama. Friday nights on FXUK - it's all about Rick Grimes leading his not-so-merry band of survivors through the undead apocalypse. Recently renewed for a third season, I'm very glad indeed to have this masterful show back on their air (despite a few behind-the-scenes troubles along the way).

SOUNDS:

Phoenix "Love Like A Sunset Part 1 & 2" - as heard on the soundtrack for Sophia Coppola's sparse film Somewhere.

Rob Zombie - numerous albums and remixes.

Tool - Ænima, Lateralus, and 10,000 Days.

STALKER: Shadow of Chernobyl Soundtrack - ideal atmospheric moods for finishing off my latest script.

M83 "Hurry Up, We're Dreaming" - the highly anticipated return of the 1980s-inspired nostalgia and love-tinged moods of the French shoegazer.

David Lynch - "Ghost of Love", "Polish Poem" & "Real Love" (with Chrysta Bell), and "Dark Night of the Soul" (with Danger Mouse and Sparklehorse)

Wye Oak "Civilian" - as heard during the trailer for season two of The Walking Dead.

VIBES & FLAVOURS:

Unusually warm weather - the month got off to a somewhat curious start which found me washing my car in bright sunshine and shorts. We're back on track though - the winter socks, long-sleeved shirts, and winter duvet have come out of hiding.

"Crystal Lake Memories: The Complete History of Friday the 13th" by Peter M. Bracke - I finished off this excellent book. If you're a fan of the Friday the 13th franchise, then I highly recommend you treat yourself to this.

Allen Bridge - this month saw me complete my drama/mystery script (as detailed in numerous blog posts over the months), which I'm currently submitting to some companies for consideration. Hopefully this challenging and rewarding creative venture bears fruit.