Quadruple Bill Mini Musings: Figures, Rims, Weeds, and Videos...

Dick Figures The Movie:
What's it about?
Feature-length action-fest version of the online animation series about bumbling stick figures Red and Blue and their various cohorts. Pink's birthday is coming up and Blue wants to be the best boyfriend ever, so he needs to get her a great present and so, if he returns a special sword to The Racoon, he'll receive the ideal gift ... but booze-and-boob-obsessed so-called best buddy Red is coming along for the ride. All hell promptly breaks loose.
Who would I recognise in it?
Everyone you're familiar with from the original web series.
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
Fans of the web show will be in hog's heaven. Epic action, impressive animation, laugh-out-loud silliness (from the gross to the utterly random), endlessly inventive asides, and a brisk pace make this well worth checking out. It's available to view on YouTube (in 12 parts), or to buy through services like iTunes, and coming soon on DVD/Blu-Ray. Scattergun, lewd, crude, hyperactive - but all in the best way. Good.

Click "READ MORE" below for giant-sized fights, a pot-fuelled Xmas, and nasty videos...

Torso (Sergio Martino, 1973) - DVD Review

Find more Shameless Screen Entertainment DVD reviews here.

The following is the second of three reviews which I'll be posting for the "Shameless Slasher Nasties Box Set" - it's a 3-disc DVD comprised of Killer Nun, Torso, and Night-Train Murders.

Like Killer Nun (included in this box set), this Italian giallo flick is presented uncut in anamorphic widescreen with a handful of newly re-inserted scenes that were previously expurgated – scenes that provide some extra connections between the dots. Sergio Martino had previously delivered The Strange Vice of Mrs Wardh (1972) starring giallo legend Edwige Fenech, and would go on to unleash Mountain of the Cannibal God (1978) starring Stacy Keach and a certain Bond Girl by the name of Ursula Andress. However Torso (appropriately sub-titled “Carnal Violence”) has perhaps brought the director the most acclaim in wider circles, as it stands as an excellent example of the slasher movie during the early gestation of the sub-genre.

In advance of early American slashers like Black Christmas (Bob Clark, 1974) and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Tobe Hooper, 1974), Martino’s film features examples of some of the most common themes and iconography found in such fare. Writers such as Carol J. Clover, Reynold Humphries, and many more have discussed these elements – particularly the so-called ‘final girl’ – the one female to make it out alive due to her superior moral standing. Indeed here the femme who escapes fatal consequences is played by Suzy Kendall – who also starred in Dario Argento’s superb debut The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1971).

However, Martino and his screenwriting partner Ernesto Gastaldi, and his Director of Photography Giancarlo Ferrando seem far more interested in gazing at any one of the other girls who populate the film’s bevy of gorgeous babes – gals who are no strangers to getting their kit off at a moment’s notice. That all said, once we move into the second half of the movie the focus finally lands squarely on Kendall’s shoulders – indeed it’s very much a film of two halves.

The first half rapidly makes it way through a whole succession of tense stalkings, bared breasts (even in the very first shot!), violent murders, and no end of red herrings and possible suspects. True to gialli, practically anyone is a suspect, and in a film populated by sex-obsessed men who lustfully/creepily leer at the central female cast non-stop, there’s no end of potential slashers. It is then with the second half that the pace slows and the spotlight lands on mystery and suspense – indeed a triple-slaying is entirely off-screen – but Kendall more than makes up for it as she becomes a captivating captive.

Making exceptionally good use of locations, Martino’s film certainly isn’t lacking in the looks department, but pleasingly it’s no “F Grade” student either. “Carnal Violence” might not be especially catchy as a title, but it matches the content perfectly. Themes of sex, death, and where the two collide are central to the plot, which also features an underlying dose of socio-political commentary. Not only is there a clear gender gap on display (many of the surviving males are sexually defunct, unlike the females), but so too is there a distinct generation gap (the students versus the ineffective police).

Shameless Screen Entertainment provides a solid transfer, however it isn’t without some problems: the audio source shows wear & tear at times, as does the video source – but being that this is the sort of film that epitomised the video nasty era (while, incredibly, never becoming one!), the slightly rough look only adds to the experience. We’re unlikely to get a prettier looking Torso in the future; finally, a series of trailers round out the disc. The 3-disc 'Shameless Slasher Nasties Box Set' also comes with an essay insert from noted film writer Kim Newman (providing brief but informative context), and the set itself comes with impressive cover art that mimics a rental videotape (complete with "Be Kind and Rewind" sticker).

Slasher fans and giallo fans are both exceedingly well-served here, as Sergio Martino crafts a murder mystery that is as sleazy as it is involving; a must-see.

Killer Nun (Giulio Berruti, 1979) - DVD Review

Find more Shameless Screen Entertainment DVD reviews here.

The following is the first of three reviews which I'll be posting for the "Shameless Slasher Nasties Box Set" - it's a 3-disc DVD comprised of Killer Nun, Torso, and Night-Train Murders.

 

Presented fully uncut for the first time in the United Kingdom, and including freshly re-introduced scenes previously excised by the producers, Shameless Screen Entertainment bring us a nicely spruced-up presentation of Giulio Berruti’s Killer Nun. Previously one of the entries on the Department of Public Prosecution’s list of video nasties here in the UK, the film is based on a true story.

Oftentimes you read the words “based on a true story” and it’s anything but, however Killer Nun is based on a case of a Belgian nun who underwent brain surgery and consequently became a morphine addict to assuage the torment of persistent headaches and mood swings. In order to feed her addiction she would ‘help along’ patients in her care who were near-to-death, only to steal their precious belongings and pawn them in the city for money to buy the drugs she craved.

 

So far that’s the majority of the plot of the movie right there – although nowhere in the true story were there actual murders, torture, or bisexual nuns played by heavy-chested Playboy models. Anita Ekberg (La Dolce Vita) plays Sister Gertrude – the morphine-addicted nun – while Paola Morra plays her sexually obsessed junior Sister Mathieu (the actress was the Italian Playmate of the Month of February 1978).

Today the film is much tamer than its reputation or title might suggest, however it’s a relatively high-minded film that dares to mix in a little social commentary about institutionalised cover-ups in religious organisations. It’s perhaps more akin to What Have They Done To Your Daughters (Massimo Dallamano, 1974) in the respect that it’s not quite as lurid as you might expect from the title – unlike Strip Nude For Your Killer (Andrea Bianchi, 1975), which is precisely as sleazy and violent as you would anticipate. That said, considering the juxtaposition of murder with religion, and sex with Sisters of the Cloth, I can picture how it would have historically been considered quite the controversial film in certain quarters – indeed to some, for those very reasons, it could remain offensive to this day.

 

Giulio Berruti and Alberto Tarallo’s script plays with thematic substance and a gradual pace, and while it may be comparatively light on sex and gore unlike some of its peers, the film is more then backed-up by a quality production. Tonino Maccoppi’s cinematography is – typically for Italian cinema – beautiful, and is nicely complimented by Mario Giacco’s editing, and Alessandro Alessandroni’s exceedingly memorable score.

Shameless Screen Entertainment’s DVD offers a lovely restored print, trailers, and a brief chat with star Anita Ekberg. The 3-disc 'Shameless Slasher Nasties Box Set' also comes with an essay insert from noted film writer Kim Newman (providing brief but informative context), and the set itself comes with impressive cover art that mimics a rental videotape (complete with "Be Kind and Rewind" sticker).

Fans of this kind of cinema should be pleasantly surprised by Killer Nun, and would do well to give it a spin.

Double Bill Mini Musings: Eternal Panic of the Nasty Mind...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind:
I'm years late to the party on this one, sure, but I got there in the end and I really dug it. I wasn't much into the likes of Being John Malkovich (same writer - Charlie Kaufman), and I was half-annoyed-by-and-half-enjoyed Be Kind Rewind (same director - Michel Gondry), but Spotless Mind really drew me in. The central idea of wiping painful memories is consistently interesting and explored in such a way that you can follow it as well as explore it on your own, and it's not deliberately obtuse either, which is nice.

Most of impressive of all however was how they were able to represent memories on screen - how memories look, how they feel, how they leap from one-thing-to-another, and how they might look whilst they're being erased. I really enjoyed it and I found it to be really quite touching at the same time. A most rewarding watch.


Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape:
It's no surprise that Jake West produced this impressively realised doc on the 1980s moral panic that struck the UK - as you can see the influence of these grue-and-grot flicks (some genuinely impressive, others utterly rubbish) on his past works.

The 'grubby old videotape' aesthetic is a lovely bit of visual flair added to proceedings - and impressively realised in fact - it was most convincing, including at one point bring up that old familiar friend 'the tracking bar'. Filled with notable writers and academics, and even some filmmakers, with a passion for these so-called video nasties, it's a thoroughly informative piece and took me back to 1999 when the BBFC experienced a seismic shift in its attitude to these kinds of movies - at the time I was in my early-to-mid-teens, and this sudden onslaught of video nasties was a joy to behold for me. In a way I got to experience, at least partly, what the talking heads in this documentary got to experience back in the early 1980s.

It's shocking to believe the whole video nasty nonsense took hold, but on the other hand it's entirely believable. Anyone who dared to question the 'common thoughts of the established order' was chastised and berated, and even bullied ... something which we now have in relation to Climate Change, sourced from the apoplectic rage of those who fanatatically believe in one way and one way only, and anyone who dares question or seek alternate routes is a heathen. Such an extreme approach to anything - be it horror movies, or Climate Change, or whatever socio-political panic/concern/issue you fancy - is entirely inappropriate, downright frightening, and a case of taking two steps back with every step forward.

Furthermore it's incredible how the legislation came to be - through 'research' that was ineffective and ultimately stolen and warped by an apparent egomaniac, and through a process of de-contextualised 'montages of mayhem' splattered across the eyes of MPs who probably only knew of horror as that produced by Hammer in the 1950s through 70s, or even Universal in the 1930s ... what was even more incredibly, as discovered last year, was that the resultant Video Recordings Act was never actually a law. It wasn't enacted correctly - but now it has been.

The documentary sticks closely to the main period of contention - namely the early 1980s - but at one brief point there is mention of the utterly tragic and totally horrific murder of James Bulger in 1993, which again resulted in cries of "Ban These Sadist Videos" from reactionary tabloids. It's a shame they didn't explore this a little further, and it's incredible that the filmmakers didn't analyse the collapse of the video nasties era in 1999 when the BBFC experience a major shake-up, resulting in a torrent of previously banned and/or heavily cut horrors were unleashed upon the public (who were either excited genre fans (such as myself), or everyone else who wasn't particularly fussed). So it was quite disappointing that they didn't follow the story all the way through to the end.

Also, it was disappointing that they focused solely on Conservative MPs of the time - now, sure, the Conservatives were running the country at the time, but as pointed out briefly at around an hour into the film, the legislation received no opposition and went on the books with all-party support. What's more, it almost seems as if just the Daily Mail (and Mary Whitehouse) was banging on about these "video nasties", when surely there was a far wider discourse across tabloids of all political hues going on. So that was a bit annoying - the realisation that the proceedings leading up to the VRA seemingly received no opposition in Parliament - from any political party - was quite something, and it would have been nice if library material featuring MPs of different hues discussing the video nasties issue.

However, despite a couple of gripes, it's a great documentary (and an entertainingly stylish one at that) - a must-see for any horror genre and/or "video nasty" fan - and I highly recommend you check it out. It's still astonishing that the MP who was essentially the 'MP guide' for the anti-nasties movement once said that these movies would detrimentally affect dogs!

In addition to all this are trailers (with detailed introductions) for the various films which featured on the DPP's list of 72 titles (39 of which became "the final 39" for which those supplying them could face harsh fines or even jail). It's an impressive package all round, so if you're into your 'grue and grot' cinema then it's a definite must-buy.