Crank 2...

The original Crank was a pretty crazy film with a fairly relentless pace - but Crank 2 is truly crazy, and truly relentless - it's almost exhausting ... almost. 90 minutes of pure, adrenaline-obsessed action fury - essentially, the most ideal flick for a bunch of lads to go and see at the cinema, which is exactly what I did with my mates, who all thoroughly enjoyed it.

What confused all of us though, were the procession of numpties who insisted on escaping the cinema as soon as the movie cut to the credits - despite a series of clips, which wrap up the plot to the whole movie, that sprung up within seconds. Why pay to see a movie and then deliberately walk out as the final moments are still playing - it's stupid - plus it's fucking annoying when some stupid bastards decide to then stop RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE ROW WHERE WE'RE SITTING, thus blocking our view with their eager-to-sod-off bodies like the right mess of rude shits that they are.

Anyway - aye, it was a top flick and I'd rather fancy seeing a third - Crank 2 was at least equal to Crank, so hopefully that's a good omen for a Crank 3, which would make for a far better action franchise to Statham than the 'one was cool, two were shite' Transporter series.

Over-the-top barely describes Crank 2, but put simply - Crank 2 is like Crank, but it goes far further in all respects and is literally non-stop, full-on entertainment.

4 short March movie musings...

I've been meaning to post this up for a while/a long while, so here's a run-down:

Lesbian Vampire Killers...

You know what, it does what it says on the tin - it's got lesbians, who happen to be vampires, and they get killed. It was never going to be Shaun of the Dead (despite playing to that idea and audience), but it does what it does and as a result it was good for a night out with the lads.

A bit of silly throw away fun with brash, if scattergun, visual flair with a plot so simple you get the whole thing within minutes. Script wise - what do you expect? Well, a few more gags would have been nice - you do wonder, if it hadn't been for Horne & Corden, would this flick have done as well as it did ("well" being a relative term mind you).

It's been said that it's a bit soft on both the horror and the comedy fronts, and I'd have to agree. A few more gags to propel the final act more convincingly would have been nice, and a few more gore gags to elevate the bloodlust to From Dusk Till Dawn-ish levels.

Nothing especially memorable, but like I said - good for a watch and ideal lad's night fodder.



Transporter 3...

What's there to say really - Statham plus car plus random scrawny euto-trash bimbo plus silly make-do plot equals Transporter 3. A shame really, as the first movie was quite promising in terms of simple-minded action fair - lots of fun to be had with a cool jet-black motor roaring around with Statham doing his "action look" ... but Transporter 2 was utter pants, and Transporter 3 is perhaps marginally better ... but by the thinnest margin.

If you're going to watch a Transporter movie - watch the first one.



The Spirit...

Aye - late on this one as well, but whatever - it's nothing to get fussed about sadly. After the sheer bucket of awesome that was Sin City (the movie), it was a case of high hopes for The Spirit - but evidently, it definitely was Robert "do everything" Rodriguez who brought the directing talent in Sin City.

Frank Miller - he's a talented guy - but it's painfully obvious with his solo directing gig of The Spirit, that he just doesn't quite have the movie directing "thing".

No doubt the PG-13 rating was a major problem with this flick, it simply does feel like "Sin City for tweens" from start to finish, and the story feels too jumbled for those (of which there are no doubt many) who have never heard of "The Spirit" before. The film jumps right into the middle of it all, and only explains - sort of - about mid-way through, what on earth is going on - a major mistake, quite frankly...tacked onto the distinct softening on the sex and violence front. Regardless of what the source material was like, the movie just DOES feel neutered - and it's a damn shame.

It looks nice - albeit basically identical to Sin City, which is perhaps another downside - but over-the-piece it just doesn't grip at all. There are moments of kick-assery, but it's really not that convincing throughout from the out-set, and I say again - it's a damn shame. It was shaping up to be feckin' schweet ... but alas, no dice.

Roll on Sin City 2 methinks.



Very Bad Things...

I remember seeing an advert for this flick - absolutely YEARS ago - on the back of a film magazine. I remember the line-up of characters (mainly a procession of "oh that guy from..." sorts), but I never got around to seeing it - but at last, I dipped into it the other day.

Kind of like U-Turn, in that it's one of those movies where "shit" simply gets progressively "more fucked up" for the protagonist(s) as the running time flows on.

It just goes to show really - when you accidentally kill a hooker in Vegas - just call the fuckin' cops, for crying out loud! Kinda like "Swingers" ... if it had gone REALLY badly in "Vegas, baby!" ... indeed.

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Now if you don't mind, I'm off to watch yet more Angry Video Game Nerd episodes online - I've been a fan for quite a while, but I only saw it sporadically - thanks to His Name Was Jason getting the wind up me to see more AVGN stuff, I'm now methodically going through them ... but backwards ... to replace my "YouTube time", as I call it.