Vice Academy (Rick Sloane, 1989) Review...

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“A Vice cop?! I feel used and violated.” From 1984 through to the end of the decade, six Police Academy movies were released (a seventh came in the mid-90s). What started out as a raunchy comedy quickly turned into a family franchise with cartoonish gags and even broader characters, rendering it practically a parody of itself. And still, along came Vice Academy, a cheap-as-chips combination of sauciness and spoof, in which a gaggle of goofy police trainees – headed up by Scream Queen legend Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-o-rama) – attempt to make ten arrests to qualify for graduation. First stop, that most hilarious of subjects: an under-age smut operation … wait, what?!...

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Savage Beach (Andy Sidaris, 1989) Review

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“A couple of sweet angels of mercy who just happen to be armed for combat.” / “Even Mother Teresa has her dark side.” In the words of writer/director Andy Sidaris “You can't not like beautiful women and explosions, if you don't, then you're a Communist” … ah, the 1980s! When he wasn't chewing on his tongue, lodged so firmly in his cheek, Sidaris was making movies in the 'Skin-emax' style, that is: guns, babes, and all sorts of shit blowing up somewhere sunny. The fourth entry in Andy Sidaris' twelve-strong 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' series features the final on-screen team up for arse-kicking agents Donna and Taryn, and sees the zesty duo crash land in the middle of a hunt for missing gold on a remote Pacific island...

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The Best of 80s Scream Queens (David DeCoteau, 1987-1989) Blu-Ray Review

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“Hell Just Got a Lot Hotter!” Three low budget genre movies on two discs: Nightmare Sisters, Murder Weapon, and Deadly Embrace; with three legendary scream queens popping up (and popping out) across them all: Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, and Michelle Bauer. Fans of 1980s VHS flicks, roll on up for 247 minutes worth of low budget run-and-gun exploitation as sorority nerds are possessed by a succubus, two psychotic mob daughters throw a house party, and a desperate housewife entertains the pool boy...

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Bride of Re-Animator (Brian Yuzna, 1989) Blu-Ray Review

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“This is no longer about just re-animating the dead – we will create new life.” Stuart Gordon's Re-Animator (1985) has, quite rightly, gone down in the annals of cinema as a landmark in horror. Brian Yuzna's 1989 sequel, however, has somewhat lurked uncomfortably in the shadows of its progenitor – but it deserves a re-evaluation, and with this in mind, Bride of Re-Animator reveals itself to be consumed with the idea of unrequited love as it circles the boundaries of necrophilia through the complex entanglement of not merely a love triangle, but a love pentagon...

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Dr Alien (David DeCoteau, 1989) DVD Review

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“One minute I'm standing there and the next thing I know they're all over me like mud on a pig.” Following on from Creepozoids, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-o-rama, and Nightmare Sisters, David DeCoteau rounded out the 1980s with this teen boy fantasy/comedy that was also known as 'I Was A Teenage Sex Mutant'. Zany from the get-go, it features deliberately on-the-nose humour, many-an-exposed-set-of-norks, substitute professors in lingerie, and an alien proboscis that sprouts from a college nerd's head to act as a powerful aphrodisiac!

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