Vice Academy (Rick Sloane, 1989) Review...

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“A Vice cop?! I feel used and violated.” From 1984 through to the end of the decade, six Police Academy movies were released (a seventh came in the mid-90s). What started out as a raunchy comedy quickly turned into a family franchise with cartoonish gags and even broader characters, rendering it practically a parody of itself. And still, along came Vice Academy, a cheap-as-chips combination of sauciness and spoof, in which a gaggle of goofy police trainees – headed up by Scream Queen legend Linnea Quigley (Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-o-rama) – attempt to make ten arrests to qualify for graduation. First stop, that most hilarious of subjects: an under-age smut operation … wait, what?!...

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Virgin High (Richard Gabai, 1991) Review

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“Do you guys ever get horny?” The Academy of the Blessed Virgin is an educational home for troublesome girls in-need of some ruthlessly religious guidance to steer them clear of the ailments of modern society that's driving them down a dangerous path. You won't find any loud talking or lambada dancing going on at the so-called 'Virgin High', but this bastion of biblical purity is about to get a sullied reputation...

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Beach Babes From Beyond (David DeCoteau 1993) Review

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“They're kinda cute for primitives.” It's all be done before, hasn't it? Cops and robbers, the profession of love at an airport, the rise and fall of a criminal empire … but when was the last time you saw interstellar petrol knocked-up at a beach-side snack shack by a vegetarian wearing fashion that could best be described as coming from the 'day-glo vomitorium' collection?...

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The Best of 80s Scream Queens (David DeCoteau, 1987-1989) Blu-Ray Review

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“Hell Just Got a Lot Hotter!” Three low budget genre movies on two discs: Nightmare Sisters, Murder Weapon, and Deadly Embrace; with three legendary scream queens popping up (and popping out) across them all: Brinke Stevens, Linnea Quigley, and Michelle Bauer. Fans of 1980s VHS flicks, roll on up for 247 minutes worth of low budget run-and-gun exploitation as sorority nerds are possessed by a succubus, two psychotic mob daughters throw a house party, and a desperate housewife entertains the pool boy...

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Creepozoids (David DeCoteau, 1987) DVD Review

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“More acid, more megatons – it ain't over yet.” David DeCoteau's low budget creature feature has aspirations walking in the footsteps of Aliens (James Cameron, 1986), but let's be honest, those are far out of reach. However, influenced at the time by the last dregs of Cold War nuclear paranoia, Creepozoids – with its bleak world view and gooey practical effects – provides a charming dose of VHS era sci-fi horror. The year is 1998 and World War III has turned planet Earth into a nuked-out husk where nomads and survivors populate the wastelands as the fighting rages on...

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Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (Fred Olen Ray, 1988) Blu-Ray Review

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“What's the matter, chainsaw got your tongue?” Shot in five-and-a-half days over two weekends using borrowed equipment, re-cycled sets, and left over 'short ends' of film stock, Fred Olen Ray's particularly silly comedy horror/film noir spoof Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers – featuring Gunnar 'Leatherface' Hansen as the leader of a buzzsaw-worshipping cult – pretty much does what it says on the tin. Do you want naked ladies of the night hacking up dopey Johns with chainsaws and getting covered in blood? Then step this way...

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Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama (David DeCoteau, 1988) Blu-Ray Review

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“Demons murdering your friends? I gotta tell you both, kids – drugs are not the answer.” Hailing from the heyday of the video rental store, when movies like this were hidden away at the back near the infamous beaded curtain and teen boys had few options for titillation if they couldn't find a discarded smut mag on the railway tracks, David (Creepozoids) DeCoteau's goofball cult favourite makes quite an impression. Not only did they make a movie in such a short time (ten days to write, two weeks to shoot), but  Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-o-Rama is still being talked about thirty years on...

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