Return to Savage Beach (Andy Sidaris, 1998) Review

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“How many endings can this story have?” Over the course of 13 years, writer/director Andy Sidaris (plus his son Christian) launched a dozen 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' movies into the world, and with 1998's Return to Savage Beach, an era of explosive RC toys and bared flesh came to a close. After so many movies over so many years, one might have expected the final entry to feel stale, even a little limp – but Sidaris bid adieu to the 20^th Century with a bang, certainly a familiar one, but a bang nonetheless...

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Day of the Warrior (Andy Sidaris, 1996) Review

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“Bring him in from the cold? That's real spy talk – I love it when you do that.” Having sat out the previous two entries in the 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' franchise (handing the reigns over to his son), writer/director Andy Sidaris returns to wreak merry havoc across America as the buff dudes and buxom gals of 'The Agency' take on a mastermind smuggler, who just so happens to be a full-blown championship wrestler...

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The Dallas Connection (Christian Drew Sidaris, 1994) Review

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“I guess you could say I blasted myself out of the rough.” After what was essentially a reboot to the 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' franchise with 1993's Enemy Gold, Christian 'Son of Andy' Sidaris returned with this 'soft sequel' in which the hunky/gorgeous agents of 'The Agency' are tasked with protecting the launch of a cutting edge anti-arms satellite. If only they weren't so easily seduced...

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Enemy Gold (Christian Drew Sidaris, 1993) Review

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“You gotta stop thinking of me as just another pretty face.” This ninth entry in the 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' saga was, originally, never intended to happen. After eight movies, perhaps Andy Sidaris was feeling wrung dry, and so Fit To Kill was supposed to the final film in the series. However, in the movie industry 'final chapters' have a particular habit of being followed by several sequels (Friday the 13^th Part IV, anyone?). In some ways it's business as usual in the Sidaris-verse, but in other ways Enemy Gold sits apart from what came before: the smaller cast features only a few familiar faces (all playing different roles), and instead of Andy Sidaris at the helm it's his son Christian Drew Sidaris (who would also go on to write & direct the tenth entry in the franchise). Hell, there's not even a single Abilene family member in sight!...

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Fit To Kill (Andy Sidaris, 1993) Review

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“It's the sexiest scheme on the screen since James Bond discovered Pussy Galore!” After the somewhat paint-by-numbers Hard Hunted, which lacked some of the vim and vigour of previous outings in the wild and wacky world of Andy Sidaris, Fit To Kill splashes some refreshing Hawaiian water on the franchise's face. Dosed-up on American bravado and topless coffee breaks, it's all about a few simple things: More action! More sex! More cheese ball dialogue! And more, many more, remote control toys!...

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Hard Hunted (Andy Sidaris, 1992) Review

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“We just go in and kick ass!” / “That's a plan.” International villain Kane returns, but this time he's not playing death games for a sense of honour, oh no, 'cos now this gun runner/all-round bad dude means business. On the hunt for his stolen Klystron Relay (essentially a key to a nuclear bomb), the buff 'n' busty agents of, er, The Agency, dive into a bombastic cat & mouse chase as the plot macguffin has a propensity to change hands almost as many times as the cast's clothing drops to the floor...

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Do Or Die (Andy Sidaris, 1991) Review

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“I have entrusted the power of death to others. I hope it wasn't a mistake.” The sixth entry in the twelve-strong 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' series finds two of The Agency's top women hunted in a deadly game of revenge and honour as a villainous crime lord seeks to settle the score and notch up a win for the bad guys. But can he compete against brawn, beauty, brains, and a walking stick rocket launcher?...

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Guns (Andy Sidaris, 1990) Review

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“My bet is a Smith & Wesson beats four aces.” A crime lord nicknamed the Jack of Diamonds wants to run guns from China to South America via the Hawaiian island of Molokai, which is protected by the smart and beautiful agents of 'The Agency'. In order to lure them away to Las Vegas, he sets about assassinating members of their ranks, but now they're ready to fight back. Featuring death by toy boat, random ninjas, and a part-time magician with a strong disliking for due process, it could only be an Andy Sidaris movie...

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Savage Beach (Andy Sidaris, 1989) Review

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“A couple of sweet angels of mercy who just happen to be armed for combat.” / “Even Mother Teresa has her dark side.” In the words of writer/director Andy Sidaris “You can't not like beautiful women and explosions, if you don't, then you're a Communist” … ah, the 1980s! When he wasn't chewing on his tongue, lodged so firmly in his cheek, Sidaris was making movies in the 'Skin-emax' style, that is: guns, babes, and all sorts of shit blowing up somewhere sunny. The fourth entry in Andy Sidaris' twelve-strong 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' series features the final on-screen team up for arse-kicking agents Donna and Taryn, and sees the zesty duo crash land in the middle of a hunt for missing gold on a remote Pacific island...

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Malibu Express (Andy Sidaris, 1985) Review

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“You really are a horse shit at showing emotion, but I like that in a man.” The first part (of twelve) in Andy Sidaris' “L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies” series doesn't pack the same punch as its follow-up Hard Ticket To Hawaii, but the writer/director's heady mix of beautiful babes, muscular men, brash action, and corny dialogue was clearly the state of play from the very beginning. At the heart of the somewhat baffling plot – a vague remake of the director's own 1973 début feature film Stacey – is a Private Investigator, a wealthy family, and a scheme to sell America's computer technology to the communists – and a hell of moustache...

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Picasso Trigger (Andy Sidaris, 1988) Review

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“As long as someone's selling tickets, my tail is shaking.” Following on from the giddy heights of the utterly bonkers Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987), writer/director Andy Sidaris had found the right kind of groove to establish his 'L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies' series, and so entry number three – Picasso Trigger – sees numerous returning characters, more bared chests than you can shake a boom-erang at, a Martini distillery's worth of cockamamie riffs on James Bond, and an endless supply of exploding vehicles to rival any episode of prime time television in America's Reagan era...

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