Ski School (Damian Lee, 1990) Review...

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“It's not how far you go, it's how go you far.” Atop Whistler mountain it's the annual Spring Pageant Week and control of the ski slopes is up for grabs with the loser to be banished. With square-jawed preppy jocks on one side and the all-American party dudes on the other, it's Animal House in the snow...!

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Ghoulies III (John Carl Buechler, 1990) Review

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“Smells like something screwy is going on.” Those pesky l'il demons are at it again, seeking to further their education by cranking the potty-minded hijinks up to eleven with death-by-plunger, and an ornate porcelain throne acting as a flushing portal to Hell...

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Bad Girls From Mars (Fred Olen Ray, 1990) Review

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“Boy, what a girl goes through to send her brother to proctology school!” There's a killer on the loose, slaying their way through the set of a low budget trash cinema extravaganza, and while it's a tough job trying to keep your head attached to your body, it's seemingly a tougher job keeping your clothes on...

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Hired To Kill (Nico Mastorakis & Peter Rader, 1990) Blu-Ray Review

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“Murder, blood, and paranoia are gonna make fine company where you're going; 'cos ladies, you're going to hell.” A shady American agency has grown tired of the tinpot dictator they helped elevate to power in the nation of Cypra, so they want their best man – a muscle-bound killing machine – to go undercover and help the revolutionaries spring their leader from a fortress prison. The mercenary's cover? This brute with the bulging biceps will be posing as fashion designer Cecil Thornton – a most believable ruse, to be sure!...

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Guns (Andy Sidaris, 1990) Review

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“My bet is a Smith & Wesson beats four aces.” A crime lord nicknamed the Jack of Diamonds wants to run guns from China to South America via the Hawaiian island of Molokai, which is protected by the smart and beautiful agents of 'The Agency'. In order to lure them away to Las Vegas, he sets about assassinating members of their ranks, but now they're ready to fight back. Featuring death by toy boat, random ninjas, and a part-time magician with a strong disliking for due process, it could only be an Andy Sidaris movie...

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Hard To Die AKA Sorority House Massacre 3 (Jim Wynorski 1990) Review

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“They may have killed his body, but he swore his spirit would never die.” Produced in the same year directly after Sorority House Massacre 2, with much of the same cast and crew involved, Hard To Die: Sorority House Massacre 3 (minus the sorority house aspect) – otherwise known as Tower of Terror – is kind of like Die Hard, but with beautiful women in lingerie.

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Sorority House Massacre 2 (Jim Wynorski 1990) Review

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“It's Cleavage vs Cleavers and the result is Delta Delta Deadly!” In 1986 Carol Frank wrote and directed Sorority House Massacre, a thinly-veiled rip-off of John Carpenter's Halloween (much like many of the slasher films of the decade), and while several franchises were pumping out annual sequels, it wasn't until 1990 that SHM would become a series. Moving away from copycat stalk-and-slash hijinks, SHM2, subtitled 'Nighty Nightmare', was a saucy direct-to-video dose self awareness that favoured knowing winks to the audience as often as it lingered on the nubile young bodies of the gorgeous cast … in other words, exactly the kind of VHS rental any teenage boy in the 1990s would have sought out with wide-eyes.

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Total Recall (2012) mini-musing...

What's it about?
Len "Die Hard 4.0" Wiseman's action-fest sci-fi that is part remake of the 1990 movie of the same name starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, and part re-telling of the source text by Philip K. Dick ("We Can Remember It For You Wholesale") about an apparently average worker drone who wants something more from life, and seeks implanted memories from Rekall, only to discover he's actually the leader of a resistance movement.
Who would I recognise in it?
Colin Farrell, Jessica Biel, Kate Beckinsale, Bryan Cranston and others.

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