Evil Dead Burn (Sébastien Vanicek, 2026) Review

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“To your perfect family.” Hey kids! What do you want out of an Evil Dead movie? Well, if it's a colour scheme that looks like three-day-old porridge and weighty themes about miserable personal relationships, then you've come to the right place...

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Zombie Lake (Jean Rollin, 1981) Review

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“We better face the fact that zombies have declared war!” Originally to be directed by Jess Franco (Sadomania, Oasis of the Zombies), this cheap-as-chips slice of Eurociné cheese was, for many years, disowned by its replacement director Jean Rollin (A Virgin Among The Living Dead). In a remote French town, several years after the end of World War II, something deadly – and bright green – is rising from the so-called 'lake of the damned'. Zombified Nazis, bare boobs galore, and a complete disregard for the laws of continuity dominate this movie, which was destined to be a drinking game only for those with the hardiest of livers...

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The Trouble with Blockbuster Scores...

From the excellent YouTube channel Every Frame A Painting, here is a video that flags up a very real issue with many modern blockbusters - with particular attention paid to the Marvel Cinematic Universe movies. Can you recall any pieces of music from the scores for the MCU flicks?

This is well worth a watch.



However, in the video Mad Max: Fury Road is referenced, and I would disagree on that point. I thought the soundtrack to that film really stood out and that particular track referenced in the video stood out most of all. I still recall it a year or so after seeing the movie for the first time. The rest of the examples? You cannot argue with them...

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V/H/S: Viral - a rant/review...

What's it about?
The third instalment in the anthology series in which different writer/director teams conjure up strange tales of horror. This time there's a killer magician, a gateway to a parallel dimension, and skater kids taking on 'Blind Dead' style zombies in Mexico.
Who would I recognise in it?
Erm...
Great/Good/Alright/Shite?
V/H/S was decent - but had significant flaws, the biggest being an overlong run time, and some truly unlikable male characters with whom you didn't want to spend any time with whatsoever. The latter aspect was, indeed, rather insulting to the entire male gender, tarring all blokes with the same brush while simultaneously reducing the female characters to sketched-in object/avenger binary codes.

V/H/S/2 was a considerable step up in quality, with a talented range of writer/directors behind the camera, a much more suitable running time, and a range of tales (with interesting characters) that displayed a wealth of invention and creativity - not to mention fun!

The third film? I try not to come down too hard on flicks, particularly in the last few years, and my tolerance for garbage is fairly high (there's usually something to redeem even your shoddiest bit of grindhouse grot) ... but V/H/S: Viral is, and there's no softly-softly way of saying this - dreadful...

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Hextuple Bill Mini (and Cine) Musings: May 2011...

Attack The Block:
It was never going to live up to the dizzying and unique heights of Shaun of the Dead, so Joe Cornish's debut - a mixture of sci-fi, horror, comedy and grim council estate realism - was always going to suffer a bit, like several flicks before, and no doubt several more to come. It's a shame that the best parts of the movie, and indeed the best laughs, are mostly crammed into the trailer, however this was no doubt beyond Cornish & Co's control ... but someone needed to do a better job of not giving away all the good stuff.

Visually it's a nicely put together film - particularly the eponymous intimidating and monolithic block (which I'm sure I saw in a Nissan advert on TV when I got back from the cinema) - home to a cross-section of London's populace. Included in this cross-section, indeed the protagonists of the entire movie, is a gang of hoody-wearing, knife-wielding petty criminals and soon-to-be-gang-members ... and herein lies the biggest problem with the movie. Our introduction to this gang is them intimidating and mugging a nurse as she walks home (another main character), and come the third act, there just isn't enough made in terms of reparations. This gang of teens show little remorse beyond 'if we'd known you lived here, we wouldn't have mugged you' - and as such, it's hard to cheer them on, let alone empathise with them throughout. They're not cheeky cockney gangsters like you'd find in a Guy Ritchie movie (a cartoonish version of reality), they feel very real, so when the aforementioned nurse berates them for their harmful actions, you're totally on her side.

It's sure to be a divide for audiences - you'll either not mind and go with it, or you'll have no sympathy for most of the characters throughout. I struggled to support the central gang, and only warmed to them slightly towards the end after some cursory backstory information and some light condemning of their actions by their female peers. It's better than nothing, sure, but it's a big ask to be a part of their fight against the big black furry aliens with glow-in-the-dark-teeth (a nifty low-fi creature design that uses CGI appropriately) considering their introductory actions.

However, some of the other characters are easier to get along with - particularly Nick Frost's cowardly pot dealer "Ron" - and there is a witty sense of nicely balanced comedy to go along with proceedings. The funny lines don't feel forced, or out of place in the context of this alien invasion, and the direction is strong throughout. It's just a shame that there aren't some bigger laughs and a better development (and introduction) of the central cast. Good, but not great. It is though, a solid debut from Joe Cornish, and I look forward to seeing what comes from him next. It's strange, in a way, to think that in the late 1990s I was watching him, and comedy partner Adam Buxton, get up to their hilariously inventive antics (and their "toy movies") on The Adam & Joe Show, and now Joe's out there making his own movies.


Basket Case:
So crap it's kind of good. It's a grotty old horror from the 1980s, filmed cheaply in and around the down-at-heel areas of New York. Basically, there's a guy going around with a wicker basket under his arm. Inside is his hideous, half-formed, and murderous brother - a monstrous anomaly that was once attached to him, but was removed by force by a group of surgeons. It's pretty damn silly, and fairly gross, but there's a despicable charm to it nonetheless.


Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans:
Werner Herzog's 'remake' of Able Ferrara's brutal original is a huge step in a different direction. The 1992 original was viscious, sleazy, extreme, and extended into the deepest depths from which redemption is almost impossible for the titular pro(anti)tagonist (played by Harvey Keitel). Herzog's 'remake' takes the basic idea - a Lieutenant gone bad - and goes in his own direction. Nicolas Cage plays a cop, smacked out on anything going to ease his back pain, as he attempts to find a killer and cope with his spiralling addictions. It's an odd flick, but in a good way, with a decidedly different tone to Ferrara's original. Herzog's film tackles the dark side with a bright eye and a blackly comic undertone. Ferrara's film, for me, will be the most memorable version however. On the other hand, Herzog's is much easier to watch.


The Bounty Hunter:
There's a certain type of "movie" that some in filmmaking sneer at, and no doubt it's just this sort of old twaddle. An action comedy that's lacking both, and indeed totally devoid of any real spark between the two leads - Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. The only reason I watched it, quite honestly, is because I think Aniston is fit ... so her ending up in a water hazard was the best bit ... if I'm totally honest. In general though, it's just a load of old rubbish, the sort of old crap that, as someone trying to break into filmmaking and be a writer/director, really winds me up - that such a dud script could be produced pisses me right off.


The King's Speech:
Great direction. Great script. Great acting. Great cinematography. It really is damned good and well worth viewing. That about sums it up, because surely you know plenty about it by now. If you've not already seen it, give it a look.


Trick 'r Treat:
It's the middle of May, so naturally it was the perfect time to watch an anthology horror about Halloween! Despite the completely inappropriate time to be viewing such a seasonally-specific movie, it was gleefully entertaining. Four main tales are interwoven on one Halloween night (such as a High School Principal who moonlights as a serial killer, and the tale of a school bus driven into a quarry), with the inventively creepy figure of "Sam" appearing throughout. It bounds along at a nice pace and doesn't outstay its welcome, it's got a deliciously black sense of humour, and it'd be well worth viewing on the spooktacular night in question.

Flavours of the Month: April 2011...

LOOKS:

Hot Tub Time Machine - still a bloody good laugh. "Great White Buffalo ... Great White Buffalo ... Great White Buffalo."

Event Horizon - I hadn't seen this for years, so it was a nostalgia trip as I used to watch this all the time when I was in high school (when it originally came out). Me and my mates loved it, and the fact that it featured "Funky Shit" by The Prodigy made it all the more appealing to us. I tell you what as well, it's a damn sight better than Pandorum, that's for sure.

Blue Velvet - there's a certain tone and vibe to a David Lynch project that makes them stand out from the crowd, and Blue Velvet is one of his strongest films. I'm rather looking forward to the Blu-Ray release, now that a whole load of deleted content has been recently discovered.

Jackass - I had another skim through the Jackass flicks, being that the third one recently came out on home video, for old times' sake. Now roll on whenever Jackass 3.5 comes out.

Mulholland Drive - I'd not seen it until this month, but the Blu-Ray was released not too long ago, and coming hot on the heels of another viewing of Blue Velvet, it felt like the right time. It looks nothing short of seductive on Blu-Ray, and the extra features (which are mostly in French, somewhat curiously) are intriguing - particularly the one that uses Lynch's own list of 10 clues to decipher what the movie is (most likely) about. I loved it.

MacGruber - I'm totally unfamiliar with the SNL sketch on which this is based, but we laughed hard at the cinema when we went to see it, and I certainly enjoyed it a second time around. "KFBR 392, KFBR 392, KFBR 392."

Iron Man 2 - it was about a year ago that we saw this in the cinema, and we were insanely psyched to see it. It's a shame then that it just didn't live up to the excellent trailer, nor the very enjoyable and well paced first movie. The sequel's pace is too uneven, the final battle with Vanko is bizarrely short, and it gets a bit distracted by establishing the wider Avengers franchise. There's still some cool action, but here's hoping that the third movie - apparently under the tutelage of Shane Black - re-asserts the quality factor of the first flick.

SOUNDS:

CKY "An Answer Can Be Found" - I was a little bet let down by this album back in 2005, but it's definitely better than I remembered it as being. However, Infiltrate Destroy Rebuild, and Carver City, were both superior albums in my view.

The Prodigy "Invaders Must Die" - I think it was the use of "Run With The Wolves" in the trailer for Paul that inspired me to give this a few more spins.

Angelo Badalamenti & BlueBob - there's something about the vibe, that music produced for David Lynch projects, gives off that helps get my mind into a certain place that helps me write.

Foo Fighters "Wasting Light" - after being a little bit underwhelmed by their last two albums (although I still enjoyed them, just not as much as their 2nd, 3rd and 4th outings), this is a return to form in my view. A stripped back sound with catchy songs. Make sure you check out the 'Live at 606' version of the album on the band's official YouTube channel.

Scream 2 - I gave the soundtrack CD, which I bought back in 1999, another spin after seeing Scream 4 in the cinema. It's a rather mixed album - the good comes in the form of "Eyes of Sand" (Tonic), "Dear Lover" (Foo Fighters), "Red Right Hand" (Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds), "I Think I Love You" (Less Than Jake) and "She Said" (Collective Soul) ... but the bad comes in the form of the absolutely dreadful opener "Scream" (Master P), and a series of mediocre offerings filling out the rest.

White Zombie "Astro-Creep:2000", and "La Sexorcisto: Devil Music Vol. 1" - the former is definitely my favourite White Zombie outing. Every now and then I swing by these albums in my collection and give them another spin.

VIBES & FLAVOURS:

Brownies & Apple Juice - a recurring snack choice for this month.

Battlefield Bad Company 2 - it's been a while since it was released, but I got around to it for the PC. It's good fun with some pretty cool levels and a nice sense of scale. Plus, naturally, the sound design is superb, and how could you not enjoy blowing holes in buildings and then rinsing the military occupants with bullets?

Hobo With A Shotgun - trailer contests, trailers, featurettes, music, there's been a decided Hobo vibe to this month.

Allen Bridge - having broken the back of the central idea (which originated in June 2010), I finally got into writing it, and as you'll have noticed here on the blog, I've been doing a series of posts specifically about it. Inspiration has come in the form of Blue Velvet, Mulholland Drive, Twin Peaks, and the music connected to those flicks, but that's not to say that this drama mystery of mine is particularly Lynchian. Those just happened to be the influences that got my mind into a particular space that allowed me to head off into my own directions and generally set a sort of tone ... if that makes sense. Continue to follow my progress with this script here on the blog.

Red Dead Redemption - replaying the story missions, ahead of L.A. Noire out later in May, I really enjoyed heading back to the dying days of the wild west with John Marston. It's possibly the best thing that Rockstar have thus far produced, even if certain elements feel very familiar from the likes of GTA.

Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? - I've seen Blade Runner numerous times over the years, but I've never read the book. Now though I'm into the second half and I'm really enjoying it - especially as it's decidedly different to the film, so it's pretty cool to see how Blade Runner developed out of Philip K. Dick's android hunting paranoid vision.

Quiz Cocktail Supreme - it's that time of year when spring is slowly morphing into summer, and that means cider and pub quizzes. Teaming up with some chums of mine, with a name inspired by a Jackass 3D skit, we've been doing better than we thought we might.

The Royal Wedding - while I wasn't all super-psyched about it, or especially looking forward to it, I remain in favour of the Royal Family for numerous reasons (which I've gotten into elsewhere, so I won't get into it here). I ended up watching the whole thing and actually quite enjoyed it, particularly for the sheer military precision and organisation of the entire event. Besides, it's not often that an event like this happens, and we Brits are reserved in our patriotism - saving it up for grand gestures and events, such as this, every once in a while - and we really show a global audience (estimated at two billion) just how to pull off pageantry properly.

Flavours of the Month: February 2011...

LOOKS:

Breaking Bad: Season One - FX repeated the first season over the last several weeks, so I took the chance to finally check this show out. I'm gradually getting into it, and I look forward to seeing season two.

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation - for some reason I had a hankering to see this woeful sequel again, but despite being utterly rubbish, there are numerous aspects to the film that are actually quite good, but blimey is it a cobbled together hash of old tat for the most part.

Curb Your Enthusiasm - yet another show I never saw during its original run that I'm now catching up on, thanks to Sky Atlantic, from the very first episode. Cringe-inducingly good.

Piranha 3D (Blu-Ray) - I've blogged about it already, so go and read that post.

The Sopranos - I missed it entirely during its original run, so I'm catching up from the very beginning on Sky Atlantic. Three episodes in and I dig it.

Clerks 2, Zack & Miri Make A Porno, Zodiac, and Twin Peaks Making-Ofs - I guess it must be all the SModcast network shows that I listen to during the week that inspired the first two, finally getting to see Fincher's latest for the third, and requiring some inspiration for the last one.

The Social Network (DVD) - I've also blogged about this in an earlier post, so have a read of that.

Dead Island Official Announcement Trailer (and music) - a wonderful teaser trailer, with heart-string-tugging musical accompaniment. Let's hope the actual game lives up to the memorable trailer.

The Oscars 2011 - another year, another four or five hours of content to skim through on Sky+ the morning after (having avoided practically the entire internet, and television, due to the tidal wave of spoilers that nobody gives a shit about putting out there ... I mean, it begins airing in the UK at 1.30am - nobody is watching it live in the UK, so come on already with the bloody spoilers!) Christopher Nolan getting overlooked was ridiculous, Hailee Steinfeld getting nommed for Supporting Actress instead of Leading Actress was bizarre, and Melissa Leo dropping the "f-bomb" was highly enjoyable. At least Inception did well on technical awards, Aaron Sorkin got a win, and Toy Story 3 was always going to walk it - but it's no less well deserved. Generally speaking it was another year of few surprises, but well, it is kind of like the Superbowl for movie fans, so I enjoy it all the same.

SOUNDS:

Foo Fighters - from their first to their most recent, in anticipation of this year's new album, I've had a retrospective tour through Grohl & Co's awesomeness.

Green Day "Warning" - this month got off to a very bad start with the death of my Aunt, so in my own little personal tribute and source of rememberance, I listened to this album several times. Why? Because in 2000 she bought it for me as a present (my first Green Day album to boot), and it was one of the albums that came along at that point in my life when my musical horizons were expanding - indeed prior to that point I hadn't been much into music - so the album meant a lot to me already, but it has now taken on an extra special meaning.

Basement Jaxx "Dracula" - as heard on the advert for the Audi A7 Sportback. Particularly enjoyable in a cinema setting.

The Social Network - Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross most definitely deserved that Oscar.

Eric Prydz vs Pink Floyd "Proper Education" - the original track is a classic, and I recently was reminded of this remix, which I also quite enjoy.

VIBES & FLAVOURS:

Crackdown 2 - got it cheap and bashed through it. A mixed bag - all the orb gathering and city-leaping stuff is as fun as ever, but the "Tactical Locations" aren't in the least bit tactical, the inclusion of Freaks isn't a particularly interesting plot (or gameplay) device, the aiming system is frequently annoying, and it can at times be rather frustrating ... and yet it's still addictive, and can still be jolly good fun. If only they'd put some more thought and effort into it all - let's just say that I'm very glad I got it cheap.

"The Man In The White Suit", Ben Collins - The Stig speaks, and while he's not the greatest wordsmith, I found his book and enjoyable and surprisingly interesting read, particularly as a huge Top Gear fan. I don't in the slightest bit begrudge him revealing he was the man behind the world-famous helmet, particularly after eight years of loyal and influential service to the show. A combination of his career behind the wheel professionally, as well as during his time on the vastly successful Top Gear, and his army training - the latter of which proved to be actually quite interesting, not to mention impressive to read.

"A Simples Life: My Life & Times", Aleksandr Orlov - I couldn't give a stuff about the website these meerkats are supposed to be advertising, but they have proved to be the most consistently entertaining adverts on television. If only all adverts could be this welcome on my television screen. As for the book, it's a fun little extension of the whole thing.

"The World According to Clarkson Vol. 4: How Hard Can It Be?", Jeremy Clarkson - another year, another collection of Clarkson's musings on life, the universe, and everything. Good as always.

Allen Bridge - returning to a screenplay idea that's been brewing gradually over the last several months hasn't been easy, but it has been fruitful as I begin to claw back my creative juices after a rather bad start to 2011. This is shaping up to be my most interesting, but also most complex and difficult-to-figure-out, script to date.

Double Bill Mini Musings: Brits and South Koreans...

Outpost:
If only more horror movies had a similar vibe to this flick. It's not about big jumpy "BOO!" scares and loud crashing noises on the soundtrack. It's about a creeping sense of dread in an intimidating atmosphere, and while it's not going to freak out horror fiends such as myself, it was a far more convincing slice of genre fare than - for example - The Haunting In Conneticut, which was a case of loud noises and jumpy moments (incidentally that flick was decent for a viewing, but it tried too hard).

It's low budget, it's creepy, it's well pieced together and while the script isn't anything particularly special, the overall package is pleasing - after all, it's ghost/zombie Nazis in a dark, spooky Nazi bunker!

The Good, The Bad, and The Weird:
The last South Korean movie I recall watching was The Host (which also stars one of the same actors) - and I didn't care for it - however this love letter to Sergio Leone (specifically For A Few Dollars More, The Good The Bad and The Ugly, and Once Upon A Time In The West) is a corker. Aside from some second act pacing dips, and a mildy confusing interplay of character groups, it has some brilliant action - a raid on a moving train, a market bullet ballet that ascends to the skies, and an all-out chase after the treasure map featuring multiple factions running and gunning like crazy set to Santa Esmeralda's "Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood" (a possible Tarantino nod?).

In short it is a beautiful-looking, beautifully crafted South Korean take on the Spaghetti Western. Your patience might be tested around the middle portion, but it's entirely worthwhile to stick around and enjoy the spectacle of it all.

The Hangover...

I was a bit neutral towards this Vegas-set comedy when I saw the trailer (and Mark Kermode's distinct disliking of it made me a bit weary), but then again it's from Todd Phillips who has given me a good few chuckles in the past with the likes of Old School (and a couple of others that slip my mind right now).

As soon as I saw it was a Vegas-set comedy, I immediately thought of Fear & Loating In Las Vegas (which is great) and Very Bad Things, which I saw a number of weeks ago for the first time (good black comedy) ... so I guess that's where a bit of my trepidation came from as well ... but regardless, the lads and I were off to have a double-film Sunday cinema jaunt, and The Hangover was first up (Doghouse would follow).

I was pleasantly entertained, I'm glad to say. The last time we went on a double-flick cine-trip, we went to see I Love You, Man (which was good fun) and Observe & Report (which was pish - and even more hard going as it was the second movie in our double bill, and my blood sugar was rock bottom).

It's not amazing by any stretch of the imagination, and I didn't guffaw uproariously, but I got plenty of solid laughs throughout and was awarded with numerous 'bits' to mimmick with the lads as we waited for our post-Hangover movie Pizza Hut pizzas.

Undoubtedly, the biggish dude with the beard ("fat Jesus" as he was mocked in the movie) stole the entire movie, but the rest of the cast did well by keeping you on side for continued chuckles also ... Heather Graham wasn't in it much though, was she? Then again, it's really about the four guys, so nevermind that observation.

I'll look forward to no doubt giving it a second viewing with the lads sometime in the future for another DVD night-in, because that's how this flick works best - watching it with the lads.

Oh, and weirdly enough, the bit where "fat Jesus" eats a slice of pizza dug out from the back of a sofa really made me crave a Meat Feast pizza ... and so, in-between showings, I went and had a Meat Feast pizza in Pizza Hut ... and it was fucking lush!

4 short March movie musings...

I've been meaning to post this up for a while/a long while, so here's a run-down:

Lesbian Vampire Killers...

You know what, it does what it says on the tin - it's got lesbians, who happen to be vampires, and they get killed. It was never going to be Shaun of the Dead (despite playing to that idea and audience), but it does what it does and as a result it was good for a night out with the lads.

A bit of silly throw away fun with brash, if scattergun, visual flair with a plot so simple you get the whole thing within minutes. Script wise - what do you expect? Well, a few more gags would have been nice - you do wonder, if it hadn't been for Horne & Corden, would this flick have done as well as it did ("well" being a relative term mind you).

It's been said that it's a bit soft on both the horror and the comedy fronts, and I'd have to agree. A few more gags to propel the final act more convincingly would have been nice, and a few more gore gags to elevate the bloodlust to From Dusk Till Dawn-ish levels.

Nothing especially memorable, but like I said - good for a watch and ideal lad's night fodder.



Transporter 3...

What's there to say really - Statham plus car plus random scrawny euto-trash bimbo plus silly make-do plot equals Transporter 3. A shame really, as the first movie was quite promising in terms of simple-minded action fair - lots of fun to be had with a cool jet-black motor roaring around with Statham doing his "action look" ... but Transporter 2 was utter pants, and Transporter 3 is perhaps marginally better ... but by the thinnest margin.

If you're going to watch a Transporter movie - watch the first one.



The Spirit...

Aye - late on this one as well, but whatever - it's nothing to get fussed about sadly. After the sheer bucket of awesome that was Sin City (the movie), it was a case of high hopes for The Spirit - but evidently, it definitely was Robert "do everything" Rodriguez who brought the directing talent in Sin City.

Frank Miller - he's a talented guy - but it's painfully obvious with his solo directing gig of The Spirit, that he just doesn't quite have the movie directing "thing".

No doubt the PG-13 rating was a major problem with this flick, it simply does feel like "Sin City for tweens" from start to finish, and the story feels too jumbled for those (of which there are no doubt many) who have never heard of "The Spirit" before. The film jumps right into the middle of it all, and only explains - sort of - about mid-way through, what on earth is going on - a major mistake, quite frankly...tacked onto the distinct softening on the sex and violence front. Regardless of what the source material was like, the movie just DOES feel neutered - and it's a damn shame.

It looks nice - albeit basically identical to Sin City, which is perhaps another downside - but over-the-piece it just doesn't grip at all. There are moments of kick-assery, but it's really not that convincing throughout from the out-set, and I say again - it's a damn shame. It was shaping up to be feckin' schweet ... but alas, no dice.

Roll on Sin City 2 methinks.



Very Bad Things...

I remember seeing an advert for this flick - absolutely YEARS ago - on the back of a film magazine. I remember the line-up of characters (mainly a procession of "oh that guy from..." sorts), but I never got around to seeing it - but at last, I dipped into it the other day.

Kind of like U-Turn, in that it's one of those movies where "shit" simply gets progressively "more fucked up" for the protagonist(s) as the running time flows on.

It just goes to show really - when you accidentally kill a hooker in Vegas - just call the fuckin' cops, for crying out loud! Kinda like "Swingers" ... if it had gone REALLY badly in "Vegas, baby!" ... indeed.

...

Now if you don't mind, I'm off to watch yet more Angry Video Game Nerd episodes online - I've been a fan for quite a while, but I only saw it sporadically - thanks to His Name Was Jason getting the wind up me to see more AVGN stuff, I'm now methodically going through them ... but backwards ... to replace my "YouTube time", as I call it.